buffys_mum (buffys_mum) wrote in want_take_have_,

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Buffy did the patrolling thing again last night. I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to get used to the idea of her being out there, actively seeking and being sought by things from nightmares and fairytales. I almost wished for the days when I thought that she was taking history classes with that college guy. Angel? Odd name...and I know they weren't just history classes, but I really think worrying about whether she's passing class was much easier to handle than worry about whether she'll be getting home alive.

I know that she managed to survive summer alone, but that just makes me all the more 'overbearing mom'. She's my little girl, and she's growing up so fast. She hasn't been able to have a normal schooling. She did come home and pretend to do her homework though, which was reassuring. She seemed in a funny mood, but I just put that down to the being back at school-ness of it all.

I just wished I could be around her more, at the school more, to make sure that Mr Giles wasn't pushing the Slayer side of things too strongly, and that cretin Synder wasn't putting too much pressure on my Buffy. Sitting around in the gallery all day, it was nice, I enjoyed my work, and running my own business, filled with things that fascinated me, but the shine was gone. All the sudden changes over summer, that thing in my bedroom killing off half of Buffy's party guests, the realisation that Buffy wasn't a normal girl anymore...the world had rotated around me and I couldn't just breeze through smiling like I used to do.

But what could I do to help? I'll always be there for Buffy as her mom and hopefully as her friend, and I know that Xander and Willow look out for her. Was being this helpless about your daughter growing up normal? I wished I knew more parents in Sunnydale...
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