first entry :]
well, my mama is from Korea
and i wish that was a plausible excuse
but sadly, its not.
one day far ago, in a galaxy called Valencia Towne Center
a daughter and mother roamed the mall
together because serious shopping means
serious money and that means my mama.
since she's old and has a phobia against the mall
she refused to walk any farther without resting on the
bench for awhile. so while i complained, she stared at the people
because she's oh so asian.
and an innocent passerby with a long black coat
and a tatto of 69 on his forehead caught my mother's attention.
because she fiercly believes every tatto and piercing
has a meaning, she asked me.
okay, what am i supposed to tell my mom who thinks
talking about "it" means im going to get pregnant?
after about 20 minutes, i tell her because
the guy is still infront of us and my mom is still staring
she was like "WHATTTT?????"
and i was like "YEA, IM GOING TO GET ONE TATTOED ON MY ASS"
she smacked me, and i laughed.
sometimes, i can't help but just laugh because i love her.
so margarita brings grandma down for breakfast (margarita is part cleaning lady/ care taker for us...grandma's blind and somewhat senile) this morning and asks her if she wants toast and coffee..and grandma says i only want coffee (all in spanish of course) because she's putting on weight and needs to keep her slim figure or else my father wont love her anymore.....what?!? and then my father goes onto to say, yes grandma i want you coming down to breakfast in your bathing suit...and grandma miss hears this and thinks he says he wants her riding in on a horse (they kind of sound the same in spanish..kind of) so we clarify that its not a horse, but her bathing suit..and we all laugh.
yeah like so i miss this community,
im fuckin lame. and i dont care.
yea so its funny how asian parents
are so insensitive about looks,
last week my mom saw my friend and said
"OMG THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU YOU WERE LIKE A LOT SKINNIER,"
all said in super asian accent.
this wasnt funny nor interesting, but yea
my mom doesn't really know how to use the internet. tuesday morning, i woke up to her trying to find driving directions. i directed her to mapquest. i leave her at the computer for not even three minutes & i hear her exclaim, "jaqui, i got a $50 gift certificate!" she had clicked on one of those coupon ads &then i had to explain to her that those are usually scams, haha.
My dad has a strong Middle-Eastern accent, but I can't really hear it because I'm so used to being around him. One of my friends told me, "Sometimes I call you just so your dad will pick up the phone and I can hear him say "Clairrrre, phoneee forrr you."
my mom's a diplomat and i haven't lived with her in two years.
i've lived with my aunt &uncle and then my sister.
i just realized how big of a deal this is. maybe something to write my personal statement for college about.
p.s. holla back and friend me if desired
I think I love this community. From what I've read, it seems great.
My Grandparents are Spanish. My Mum was born in England but I'm half Spanish. My family from Spain are coming over next month. They're terrified of the cold weather. We told them it had snowed and they nearly pooed their pants.
so my stepdad calls and he's like "is tommy there?" and I'm like "I'm sorry you have the wrong number" and I hang up on him.
because my moms name is Tammy. get it? HAHA. funny. so now he's like.. "can I talk to your mom?"
stupid Egyptian step dad is finally catching on. and he thinks beau is beautiful, too. hahahahhahahahah. ,k.
I like how my mom blames all my academic problems (as if three B's is a problem) on going out to art galleries all the time (when I've really only gone three times). And by "like," I mean, "hate."
my momma works and lives in the philippines as of now because she's a diplomat. sometimes it's hard for me to ever imagine her business-like and professional cos she's such a goofball crackhead.
i talked to her the other night and she was asking me things about my boyfriend, she did the usual "does he have a fine appreciation for the arts? neruda? rumi? cohelo? calder? basquiat?" and then she
randomly busted out with,
"does he clean his ears regularly?"
"does he brush his teeth? cos i dont think i want my daughter to be kissing some nasty toothed anorexic-looking boy that doesn't wash his hair"
and she asked me to describe to her what he looked like and
i just shurgged and said "hm i duno i guess you know like andy, 'emo' or whatever"
and she's like "ohhh, EMO... like nirvana, kurt cobain."
she's so cute when she tries.