Hey I'm new to this site and live journal. im here cos i wanna and reeeli need to loose weight, like a lot, atleast 40 lbs and i was wanderin if anyone is also knew here or not, and wuld like to like do the sme.
also dus ne1 have any good advice for me, any is welcome.

im not sure how this works

Im new and still very confused about how to post things and stuff like that. But anyhow, I spent this ENTIRE summer pigging out im so disgusted with myself. Last i knew i weighed 115 and thats 9lbs more then i weighed a year ago! disgusting! Im terrified to know how much ive packed on since. School starts tommrow and im going to go to the nurse and ask them to tell me my weight since i dont own a scale (my mom REFUSES to buy me one). I pretty much got by today on a handful of goldfish crackers and hot tea UNTIL dinner came around but  i only ate ONE regular sized portion. Im proud of myself for knowing when to stop.(Praying i dont night snack!!!) I hope i can keep this up. Im planning to go on an all water fast for the weekend, (Sat+Sun) , anyone doing anything similar/ want to join me?
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 Ok, so about 2 weeks ago I was fasting pretty good and lost like 5 pounds, but now I have gained it all back! So I'm like 120-122!! It SUCKS. 
I don't know why this is happening!! I keep fucking breaking my fasts... I need some tips and some distraction. 
Plus, there is a new girl that is way skinnier than me, I wonder how SHE does it... hmm... 
Sometimes I am just a ...
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    disappointed disappointed

(no subject)

 Hi, Im new on here and i would really like a friend that i can talk to and lose weight with.

Im 19 years old.

My weight gain really started when i went to college. Im from a small town and being at college really made me feel insignificant. But eating made me feel better. Now it makes me feel like a pig. I know im like morbidly obese now. Thats why i want someone who i can talk to and be accountable with and cool with. I used to eat to fill myself but no more. I would really like help and any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Any takers?
Please help!

-dying from fat and wanting to be invisibly thin

i need HELP!!

Hi im ellie. im 18. &  A SIZE 12!!!
My friends all have brillaint figures although i love them to bits i am very envious of them!
For the last 2 Yrs i have been very picky about what i eat, but nothing seems to happen. But recently over the last 4 months i have felt physically sick when i think of meals!  i became a veggie 4 yrs ago as then i was in control of my diet but that doesn't seemt to be working!
All of my girlies say to me that i have a lovely curvy body! CURVY they mean FAT! 
over the last few months i have been getting very depressed when it comes to going out with my girlies as they look so fab and i look FAT!  At the moment i refuse to go out with them! due to having no self confidence due to my size!
 I NEED HELP! i need to loose weight now!  well no actually i just want to be VERY skinny!
some mornings i wake up look in the mirrow and think well i actually look relativley  ok, then i go to my Boyfriends and think how the hell did i think that! 
I refuse to eat out or around anyone i don't feel confident around! which is actually literally everyone other than my mum & dad!
i need to get skinny NOW there is no time for being fat ot is just getting me depressed !!  sometimes i actually feel MANIC i can't do anything to click out of it either 
i need ways to loose wieght now! i want dramatic changes please i need ur help!! 
Thanks u
X X X 


well im new and thought id introduce my self..
my name is chrystie. im 19 ..and i'm a girl lol
so i guess ill explain my situation. =)
well ive been overweight for most of my life, my highest was 195lbs(eww)  and my lowest , at age 17, was 144lbs (yay)
well ive gone up and down since then, and just got off Jenny craig. im  151 at the moment, but probably a lot more right now being that i ate so much this weekend. i LOVE not going to deny it..i juss feel like i gain it easier than others. i do like working out...but i get lazy sometimes.
anywho (im rambling lol)
i made a promise to myself that this summer i would work hard to get thin. EVERYONE makes fun of me because of my weight...and its so annoying. but im not doing this for anyone, im doing this for myself, i want to be happy!!!!!!!
i need support
and im ready to support you guys too
so back to the gym tommorow...i want to be THIN


hey :]

hey everybody im looking for fasting buddies for the next week. i know i wont succede unless i have some people to fast with. hopeing not to let anyone (mainly myself) down.  today im going to camp so it should be easy not to eat nasty camp food. i might get away with just cutting up my food so my friends wont realize i wont be eating any of it. also what are you thoughts on lax? ive been meaning to try them but ive gotten mixed reviews. some say they work and some say they dont. so im not really sure

what are your thoughts?
keep up the good work!

<3 to be thin

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Ahhh stressful day!

i went home this week and iv just come back from uni and found out that i put on 6lbs!!! that pissed me off so im starting a new diet of having just 2 of those 10calorie soup things a day. one for lunch and one for dinner for 2weeks. but then i got home and found out that the kitchen was an absolute mess and we move out in a week and get charged if we leave without cleaning it. so i cleaned EVERYTHING. i had the day off and just blitz. i thought if i focus on cleaning i wont think about eating. big mistake. some one had left out biscuits and i couldnt help myself. i had to have 3. im trying to stay under 100 calories a day for 2 weeks to get rid of those 6lbs i put on in 4 days. ekkk.  and the very first day i eat 220 instead. not good. well at least the kitchen is clean. my flat mate came in and was like " wheres my stuff gone" and i i was like " iv cleaned it and put it in a spare cupboard cos you guys are pigs" and he stormed out. ummm a thanks would have been nice. i slaved for 3hours to clean the kitchen!!!

ahhh venting helps, im off for a run, i need to work off those biscuits!

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    Anzyli Jones

im so proud!!

im so proud of myself, i had the day off and decided to go for a cycle to a place called cambourne. i wasnt quite sure how far it was so i got my map and planned it all out. it ended up being just over 10miles. so there and back was 20miles. i even worked out my speed in which i was cycling and i hit 17mph. thats not the proud bit, i went onto to record how many calories id eaten (29cals all day) and how many id worked off. I WORKED OFF 1661 CAL!!!!  in just that cycle and the best bit is it wont make me bulk up. im proud cos all iv eaten 2day because im on the rainbow diet is half a red pepper (16cals) and a piece of melba toast (13cals) so im happy as can be. 

the cycle really did me some good tho cos i got stood up last night again so i was miserable this morning! iv never had a problem with dates and finding guys but since iv come to uni iv dated one guy and been stood up 4 times in 2 months by 2 different guys. maybe its just the boys round here or maybe its me but to be honest im in such a good mood, i dont care. trust me tho, last night i was a mess on the phone to my mum and i almost told her about my ED by saying im not skinny enough because i havnt reached my goal yet. opps!! 

although on my adventures today iv realised my ED has progressed up a level. i used to just try and work of the calories id eaten and keep it pretty much balanced and not feel too guilty if i ate 200cals and worked off 300cals. but now i realise that every calorie i eat i feel ill and stupid and guilty which is rather depressing.

hope you all have a good night

love xx
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i dont understand...

im so annoyed, my friends from work asked me to go bowling and drinking 2night at 5ish, its now 8.50pm and i still havent heard from them. i havent eaten anything all day so that i can replace the food calories with alcohol calories (i also feel slimmer in the morning if i dont eat and get drunk).

i dont want to wallow in my own self pity but its become a common occurence that my friends esp my flat mates ask me to go out and i get myself all hyped up and prepared by not eating so that i dont load all those extra calories on and then nothing happens and i end up sitting in my room playing music and going on the internet till late crying convinced that iv done something wrong to piss them off!!! 

i dont think im a horrid person to be with because i love my work and get on really well with them and my flat mates but i just dont understand why they say lets go out and then just dont!! if you make plans, stick to them.

oh well the good thats come out of this is that i havent eaten and therefore havent consumed any calories. i was just so looking forward to it and i even went for a 2hour cycle to burn off any guilty calories i would have consumed 2night.

im going stir-crazy in my room now, i hope they text to say they are going out, please text! (crosses fingers)

does anyone feel like this or am i just being pathetic?
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    christina agu