haha

ok and that did not work at all so i am just going to copy and paste the poem here til i know how to link to it properly haha =)

She wonders about me so pitifully misinformed
But I'd rather she despise me than let her know the truth
A crazy decision; doesn't make sense and
I wonder what she thinks I'm doing
Can't even explain it to myself

Consequences, I'm missing so much of so little
Meaningless glances, mindless chatter
Turns to gossip, I listen intently and don't care about these people
Laughably solemn declarations of superiority
Such a modest arrogance
I must confess; somehow it's worth the struggle to bump into her

Wish she could see how she looks when she's sleeping
Sheets clutched over breath, a contented sigh
Then she could understand why
I watch her, take in every element of her

I like the tiny jumpers over old school shirts
Somewhere underneath she's still the same
The only girl I ever fell for
And when I try to get up, trip, stumble
I just keep falling
Bows and bracelets, no-one else exists
Such a girl as distinctive as this

She fills all my sketchbooks, notepads, journals
I can read her anytime

And then when she walks, puts out her arms for me, happily shuffles
Little things, not particularly attractive
There's not a part of her I could condemn

But forget it all.

I don't see her anymore.
Can't talk anymore.

And all the world is watching this fail; they all know.
Not one lets her in.

If she can't see, can't feel, can't sense it
Maybe that's supposed to be for the best
Or so I'm convincing myself.

You have friends, family, money.
You've got everything going for you.

So I'm happier than anyone
Wouldn't make sense any other way
And of course I want for nothing more
Days spent with kindly faces, good intentions, making memories

Hope she's jealous of this perfect life
She has no place in.



If I wasn't laughing I'd be crying.



sorry if it's a bit heavy lol ~x~

n00b

heyho i'm new here so i'm not too sure what i'm doing, all these fancy links and whatnot seem pretty cool though =) would be grateful if someone could tell me how to link to a poem from a post, for now here's something i wrote a few months back, would love to hear what you think! love ~x~

x-posted to lesbian_poetry
heartbeat

(no subject)

i'm sorry the last post i tried to do didnt put the whole poem in there. but here it is.


"landfills and tranquility"
I was looking for my paper heart in my own body today.
It seems that it took the longest while to see that it wasn't there,
and then when i wasnt even thinking about it, i had to go
looking because things aren't fair.
When i finally got to my keepsake, i knew this is what i wanted,
and this is what i wanted for as long as i'll be.
this is why i didnt notice my heart in the first place,
but in the long run, it wont be covered up like it was.
it's just easiest that way because then, i dont have to fight
to just breathe out of my arteries, and capilaries and veins.
but now, i'll take my chances and hold my breath, because if
you're around, it feels all the same.
so i know my journal is filled with pictures of marilyn monroe,
but i don't want to be anyone i except for who i am now,
i will let those preconceptions go.
and all my hopes of how she was killed because of her affair with
john fitzgerald kennedy, and it needed to be kept quiet.
while this all seems so glamerous, i just want a nice and steady year,
and years and years to come with you.
the red carpet isn't all it's cracked up to be,
and it doesn't really seem to suit me.
the only thing i want from who i am is to be with you.
and i do have a paper heart and it's been easily torn, if i had a paper
heart then i would have other paper idenities, and how confident i am about
you is not one of them. it's like renting a hotel, and you are only there
for as long as you need to be, then you leave.
i put all those wheres and whens when i have been unconfident about you
in a place i will not go searching for it.
so this is me and who i am, and i'm not going to cease,
and if you want, i'll say please.
my heart is a ballroom, and it's not small. it's a place where you see
yourself saying 'wow' to, and you think you know all the places you can be in there.
you think you know how tall the stage is, and how much it hurts to leap off of it without
taking one great, big step and holding your air in as you do it.
you think you know where all the tables and chairs are set up at, but then you come back
and try to run through it, circling around the tables so you wont hit one, but you do
anyways, because they have been rearranged from the last time you ran in there at night,
when you couldn't see anything and you where just trying to remember how it
was set up from memory. you think you know how far the chair will be from the table when
you pull it out to sit down in it, but suddenly, you don't even look below you when you go
to sit and you hit the floor. you think you know what colour the carpet and walls all.
the carpet is bright red, and the walls are cream. but then you go black to see that the carpet
was replaced and the walls were repainted. it was made even more beautiful this time.
there is even a chandelier that was pinned to the ceiling like a pin on your shirt.
you don't say 'wow'. you just gasp. and all the air that you are taking in is the biggest
breath you will ever take, but it prepares you. it prepares you to spin, and keep spinning.
your feet don't stop moving, and you are swinging your partner around,
and it doesn't matter what's playing in the backround. it could be swing, alternative, emo, punk.
you really don't care what it is. you only care about who you're with.
and i want you to know all my heart has to offer, because it turns out it was never really paper
at all. it was cardboard. it's hard to cut through, but it can be torn if you try.
it's still elegant though, not just a page from a colouring book. you have to rent it out to stay.
It seems that you have been here for awhile now and i intend for you to be still.
I want to belong to you.
heartbeat

wasting letters on capitols

this is a poem i wrote about three or four months ago.


"landfills and tranquility"
I was looking for my paper heart in my own body today.
It seems that it took the longest while to see that it wasn't there,
and then when i wasnt even thinking about it, i had to go
looking because things aren't fair.
When i finally got to my keepsake, i knew this is what i wanted,
and this is what i wanted for as long as i'll be.
this is why i didnt notice my heart in the first place,
but in the long run, it wont be covered up like it was.
it's just easiest that way because then, i dont have to fight
to just breathe out of my arteries, and capilaries and veins.
but now, i'll take my chances and hold my breath, because if
you're around, it feels all the same.
so i know my journal is filled with pictures of marilyn monroe,
but i don't want to be anyone i except for who i am now,
i will let those preconceptions go.
and all my hopes of how she was killed because of her affair with
john fitzgerald kennedy, and it needed to be kept quiet.

young artists have gotta starve...

Okay, here's the deal.
I paint clothing, you may or may not have seen my work posted in this [or another] community
Some people have been asking for shirts/hoodies, so I'm making this post for everyone's benefit

click this fake lj-cut for examples of my work
(♥)

still interested?
good!
i can put anything on a shirt [or a hoodie, pants, jacket, etc.]
maybe you love your mom so much you want to put a picture of her on a shirt...i can do that too! it doesn't necessarily have to be band related, if you have an idea, pitch it to me and i'm sure there won't be a problem

-you send me the clothing w/ money, i'll work on it and send it back
-It's $15 for each piece of clothing [this is a flat rate and includes the cost of shipping it back to you]
-you can im me at dinexdashed, email me at shawna_munro@hotmail.com, or just comment in my journal for more info [ie; what you want on your shirt, etc.]

i need money so i can get me some education in the fall =)

x-posted everywhere

thank you for your time.
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(no subject)

Wow I've been hella inactive here. Sorry to say I'm leaving all the communities I'm in, I just don't have time to keep up with yall lol. So a million apologies, and good luck :)

[[ Nikki ]]
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(no subject)

omg omg omg i think im dieing haha i just got a letter in the mail froma national poetry association saying my poem i submitted was excepted to the semi-finals ah i was really surpised i thought it would say something like your poem is the worse one ever or something haha alright thats all
ex-posted to my journal

Just tell me it's okay to die...

OKay I wrote these a while ago and failed to post them but here they are they are also posted in my journal.

"I'd rather not be writing this to you in a song. But telling you to your face. In doing that I wonder how many girls will take my place? Where do I go from here? I've never felt this way before. Nor have I felt the need to lie. Just to keep you in one place. The pen, pad, paper. I know this is useless to tell you how I feel. I know you do not feel the same. Turn the page Tear up the paper. The ink will drip off your black lips. From the night you left me in this ditch."-Tricia Taylor

"Since, then the young girl didn't know what to do. She couldn't think for herself. She felt her whole life coming to an end. The life she use to know didn't exist. The life she knew now was a lie she didn't wanna believe. Her family doesn't care about the pain that she feels. She tries so hard to be perfect. But she never will succeed. Alone in her dark room waiting for the day to end she paints a picture of a family silhouette. The sun comes up and she still feels the same. But she doesn't know who to blame. Him?-" Tricia Taylor

"It hurts so much to tell you the truth. But I am never letting go. You were that one true special part of me.I lost it all. But it wasn't my fault. I promise! I won't let your tears get a hold on me. They mean nothing to me. You never told me the truth. Why should I? Just wipe that smirk off your face. I know you lied.. It's not that hard to see it in your eyes. I just won't let you get to me anymore. I am ashamed of myself. Is that enough to say? Is that what you wanna hear? I do not blame myself.. Well, maybe I do..? Screw this perfect ending. We are never gonna get it! Even if we did, would it really be perfect?"
---Tricia Taylor
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    Anti love- Go Go Power rangers