Owl Post

I miss you so much! It's so lonely here without you and it hurts to see you hurt so badly.

I miss your laughter and your kisses and that wicked thing you did with your tongue on my... eh, you know. ;)

I know you miss me too. I feel it. But Harry, never doubt that we will see each other again. If I can send you notes from here, I will also find a way to mail myself outta here one day. Or you'll come and get me - you're amazing like that.

Until then, think of that first night we spent together, on a cozy blanket, on the Quidditch field, under the stars.

Forever yours,
Cedric

Wotcher Wolfie,

But I can grow my own penis!

Love,
Tonks.

Tonks,

I said no and I mean no.

Best regards,
Remus

Hermione!

DON'T YOU DARE ASKING FOR A SWEATER WHEN YOU ARE TOYING WITH HARRY'S AFFECTIONS! THE POOR BOY HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH!

Molly Weasley

PS: I would have sent a Howler, but I did not want to embarrass poor Harry even more.

Dear Molly,

Where is my sweater?!?

Love,
Hermione
(you know, Ron's other friend that doesn't have a stupid facial scar)

I'm in love with Ginny, and most assuridly dislike(or hate) both Snape, and the Malfoy's. I vehemently deny any sexual relations with Draco. Admittedly, I do love the ferret face Draco makes when he smiles, but that does not make me Slash-bait!

Signed
Harry.

P.s. If I were with Draco, I'd definately be the top, his penis is way to big for me to be on bottom..oh..wait..I'm not...

Same place, same time? And this time, bring the lube that does *not* come in every flavour. Earwax is hardly erotic.

Love,

Ferret-Face

Stay away from my husband. I mean it. I don't wish to have to send Bellatrix after you: getting her back into her cage is ever so tiresome. It's like wrestling with a rabid wolverine.

Sincerely,

Narcissa Malfoy

X-Posted on many places

Dear Ron,

after recent events concerning snogging, i am eloping with Cho Chang.
sorry, Won-Won!


Hermione.

P.S. her broom vibrates!

I am not sexy. I am not handsome, I am not gay, I am not married to that silly twit know-it-all Miss Granger, nor am I secretely shagging Lucius, your Mary Sue, your original character, or god and heaven forbid, HARRY POTTER. I am a greasy, hook-nosed, sarcastic POTIONS MASTER.

There is no yay. No squee. Just me. Potions Master!

No love,

Severus Snape

Say it with me now: Potions. Master.



Dear potions Master Severus Snape,

Yay! Squee! We love you!

Love, nyxalinth and harleen and many, many others.