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[summary] Janiben - 2013.05.11 - 300th anniversary SP: Kaminuma Emiko parts only

I guess this episode is coming at a very opportune time which is why "Kencho Omotenashika" is a big sponsor for the 300th SP.


Kaminuma Emiko is pretty much the queen of Kansai variety, so if you don't know who she is, it'd be good to remember who she is now because K8 really love her.



Yasu because I don't give him enough love even though I adooooore him.
The members all come out to "E.R." almost like how Arashi does with Shiyagare.

Hina says that it's been six years since the show first aired and since it's such a special occasion, the number of staff members for this very episode has increased five-fold.  Their first guest is none other than Kaminuma Emiko.

Emiko-san says that the last time she was on the show was in 2008 and she jokes that she's still living.  The last time she was on, they ended Janiben with a song collaboration, namely her most famous song (she's a comedian, actually), "Osaka Rhapsody."  Yoko says that it was a precious time (when they sang together) which makes everyone laugh because Emiko-san says that comedians used to make comments like that a long time ago.


Hina says that last time, Emiko-san chose Maru as her type and they all want to know if her tastes have changed since then.

Glutton
Emiko-san says that she likes Maru's face and Yoko asks, "Would you give a job to the person you pick today?"

Emiko-san says that they're probably busy and confesses that she's changed from Maru to… Ohkura!  She says that he seems like he has a good personality, but moreover, she really likes Otameshika! Hina tells her that Ohkura isn't a regular on that show, but she says that she likes how Ohkura enjoys food.

Yoko says that Ohkura's soon going to be a regular on Emiko-san's show, "Emi-channel."  Emiko-san ends the segment by saying that although she chose Ohkura, all of the members are manly.


Segment 1 - K8 can/not agree with…
"Kaki no Tane are essential for foreign travel!"

Kaki no Tane is definitely not the literal "persimmon seeds" if you can read kanji; it's just a snack name.  You can hear Subaru laugh really loudly but everyone disagrees, although Yoko says that people who like the snack REALLY do like it.  There are all kinds of flavours and many packs come with other things like mixed nuts, too.


Actually, Emiko-san says that while she does bring bags of the snack with her on trips, she generally likes soy sauce-flavoured senbei.  She says that if it's a two-week trip to Europe, three or four days' worth is good enough, but it has to be (and she says this with a lot of emphasis), soy sauce.  They all laugh like crazy and she explains that when you go to Europe, it's all about the bread and pasta and that it seems like everywhere you go, the smell of butter permeates the air to the point that it gets stuck in your nose.  For that reason, soy sauce senbei really saves the day, but instead of eating it like normal (crunching right into it), she likes to lick them first.

Here is also the start of Ryo's bad attitude because he mumbles that Emiko-san licking senbei is gross and Yoko points that out to her.  Ryo says that she shouldn't do that and asks to what degree she licks the senbei.  Emiko-san says, "Until they're white" to which Ryo again insists that it's gross.  The members scold him and Emiko-san explains that she feels accomplished when she sees that a dark senbei goes white.

Yoko is sweet and defends her by saying that he can understand since she goes on international trips for a while.

What pisses Yoko off are the people who go on trips for like two days and they complain, "I feel like eating ochazuke (green tea poured over white rice)!"

Emiko-san is just at the beginning of telling some story about Guam but she mispronounces it and accidentally says, "Gamu" which Ryo loudly points out and laughs about.  Emiko-san asks Ryo if he's got a grudge against her and he says that he doesn't, so Subaru kindly adds that (her pronunciation) was what worried Ryo.  Back to the story, though, she went to Guam for three days and says that for those kind of trips (to primarily English-speaking places), there are people who won't use English at all.  Anyway, her point was that she didn't want to make them laugh about her snack choice, more that soy sauce senbei has value when you go overseas because it literally is a taste of home (for them, anyway).

Hina asks her if she has any more stories about overseas travel and she says that she hates foreign bath tubs.  Like I said before in a previous Janiben summary from 2013, Japanese people love their baths and the thing about most Japanese ones is that they're small but deep.  Emiko-san's problem with foreign ones is that while they might be deep, they're very long, so when you stretch out, you pretty much drown unless you're very tall or you don't fill the tub up that much.  She also doesn't like shower curtains (remember, they're really of no use to people who takes baths instead of showering and Hina points this out) because when you shower, if you just happen to turn around, the cold curtain sticks to you.  The ossans totally get it, though.  Another thing is that in hotels, they don't really give you anything long to wash your back which Japanese people really like to do.  Emiko-san says that after an overseas trip, the first thing she does is go home and take a bath and scrub her back until it's red.  Yoko says that when you (Japanese people, he means) go overseas, you think, "Japan is good~" and Emiko-san agrees, especially being at the Janiben set in Osaka where she can talk like this because she just smiles and laughs in foreign countries because she can't speak English.

She says that it's stressful and while her husband can speak English, he'll have ridiculously long conversations with people like wine sommeliers at restaurants instead of ordering and Emiko-san just sits there thinking, 'Hurry up and order!'  They all complain that food takes so long to come in foreign places and Emiko-san says that she doesn't like the fact that they ask you what kinds of dressing/sauces/flavouring you want; rather, she says that if they're cooking the food, they should decide how it tastes.

Yoko says that since she's on TV, she must get recognized, but she says that she doesn't because without makeup, nobody would know it's her.  Hina says that it's okay if she says that about herself, though.

She insists that with makeup, she looks younger, but Ryo snorts a laugh at this and again, the members scold him for his behaviour.  Emiko-san says that sometimes he gives off a bad feeling but she quickly switches to praising them for their first appearance on Kohaku.

She asks them if anything bad happened to which you can see Ohkura totally giggling in the back but they all say that nothing of the sort happened.

Yoko says that on the wide shows, she probably heard that they were really stiff (and on edge) when greeting really big names in their business, but it wasn't like that at all.  Emiko-san says it must be because they're Kanjani 8 that they didn't feel that way, but it's more like they've had a chance to work with really big names already and Hina says that some of them get to work with Miwa-san (on Ariehen Sekai) and they all just did the EIGHT RANGER movie with Tachi Hiroshi.  Emiko-san knows just about everyone who really matters in the show business world and she says that Tachi Hiroshi is way too nice.  He's been a guest on her show a few times and she says that when he's there, he tries so hard to take in everything that it's painful for her.

Hina goes over to her to defend Tachi-san and you can hear Ohkura laugh so loudly in the back.  She says that if anything, he's very careful and so grateful for the things that people do for him that her hair and makeup person on set told her quietly that after doing his hair for "Emi-channel," Tachi-san gave the hair and makeup person a 10,000 yen bill.

Tachi-san is cool because he handed over the 10,000 yen bill like a flamenco dancer?
They all say that he's so cool for that and again she brings up the topic of bad things happening to them at Kohaku, but they insist that all they had was a ton of fun.  Ohkura asks her why she wants to know if bad things happened to them and she says that, for example, a long time ago, things like similar outfits between different acts would happen, perhaps colour.  They ask her if that happened to her, more importantly, who did that to her, but she won't say.  She does, however, bring up that a suit thing happened between Kitajima Saburo and Go Hiromi, both who wore suits with rose print.  However, the suit that Kitajima-san wore didn't suit him like it did with Go-san.  Hina praises the huge rose corsage on Emiko-san's suit jacket and she noritsukkomis (when a person initially goes with the joke and then points out the flaw) him.


"One's personality is determined through their email replies!"
Everyone agrees with Emiko-san and they ask how she chose this.  When she receives emails, she replies and it often happens that people who are pretty much her kouhai don't reply again.

She gives an example of Tetsuji from Shampoo Hat whose wife helped him pick out a blouse as a gift for Emiko-san and she mailed him to say thank you and that she'll treasure it, but he didn't reply.  He could have said that he was glad that she liked it, so she's using this chance to out him.  Another story about him was that he sent her a message that his wife just gave birth to their second child and Emiko-san replied telling him congratulations and to say hi to his wife but he didn't reply again.

Hina asks her if there's anyone else she wants to complain about and she says her husband is the worst.  Even though they've been married for 36 years, she says that she understands that they don't need to have manners or anything (like how there is between senpai/kouhai from her previous rant about Tetsuji), but she tells a story about their house in Hawaii.  Her husband was in Hawaii all by himself in their really nice home and she thought he might be lonely by himself, so she sent him a really sweet text about how it's still cold in Osaka and how their two dogs miss their papa.  Hina says that it's long and Emiko-san says that there was no reply for a day and a half making her think maybe it didn't reach him.

When he finally replied, all his text said was, "Got it."  The members say that must have made her feel lonely and she exclaims, "Who the hell are you?" about her husband because he could have written about their dogs or what he was doing in Hawaii (he's a musician) but he didn't even try.

Hina asks her to talk about people who have really good texting manners and she says Madoka Hiroshi but they're all a bit amazed to hear that because Hina says that "Uncle Madoka" (his words, not mine.  He says, "Madoka no occhan") is a serious person but Emiko-san jokes that Madoka-san might not use a lot of words but he's passionate and jokes that his hit songs are few (he's a singer-song writer).  One example she gives is one he sent on her birthday talking about how her work is important and what made her happy was that it was quite long.  The show actually sends a camera to talk to Madoka-san and they ask to see his phone to check if it's true.  A lot of what he sends are cheer-up texts and he'll even use the blank sides of scripts to write messages and leave them for her in her dressing room.


Hina has a few letters that he's left for her and he reads them out, later showing everyone the actual letters full of emoji.  The first one is about how the weather is good and that he'll be going on location today and he'll be going to Kochi-ken on the weekend to sing with his friends in a band.  He ends by wishing her luck and that he's off.  The second letter is about hanami (see notes) and that he wishes her a happy birthday a little bit earlier.  Emiko-san jokes that he didn't give her a birthday present, though and they all say that the letters should be more than enough.

The show prepares boards for each of them to write a reply text to Emiko-san so that she can judge how well they are at communicating.  Her text reads:

"Good morning.  Even though I've gone to Hawaii for holiday, I feel like I might be coming down with a cold, so I'm spacing out in my room for half the day."

Hina puts pressure on Ohkura because Emiko-san chose him as her favourite and even more pressure is put on Ryo because he's been a brat since the beginning of the show.

Maru:

Maru's writing doesn't look that nice, but he uses a lot of kanji and they're not all necessarily easy.
"Long time no see!  Eh~!  The best part of Hawaii is the outdoor shopping… that's tough luck, huh.  You're not going outside, huh.  I don't want to think of Emiko-chan spacing out.  I hope you get over your cold.  I'm sending you power from Japan.  Emi Emi, oh~"
Ohkura says it's cute and Ryo points out that Maru's face is all red but Emiko-san gives him a batsu.  Her reason is that it feels like a kid asking grandma if she's okay.  Yasu, ever the kind one, says that it has a unique quality to it and Emiko-san says that she doesn't get the "Emi Emi, oh!" part.

Yoko:

No, that's not a feat for Yoko to be able to write that much kanji; the words he uses are quite standard and are considered like upper-elementary school level.
"Good morning.  That's unfortunate to hear.  However, on the plus side, you can do things slowly.  For me, middle-aged people space out.  Take care of yourself.  I hope you get well.  Yokoyama You."
Partway through, Ohkura picks on the fact that Yoko, the number one most likely to make katakana mistakes, writes "botto" instead of "bo-to" for "spacing out."  Emiko-san doesn't pass him because it's like he's talking to her as though she's already been admitted to the hospital.

Subaru:

Good job, Shubabu!
"This is Shibutani Subaru.  Good morning.  Is your cold okay?  It's unfortunate to hear that even though you're on holiday.  Get well soon and enjoy Hawaii!  I'm looking forward to my souvenir~  I sincerely hope that you take care."
Hina says that it's not bad and Emiko-san says that while it resembles Yoko's, Subaru uses the word "manketsu" for "to enjoy" and that word doesn't often come up because it's easier to say "tanoshinde kudasai".  For that, she passes him because it gives her strength.  Hina tells the rest of them to not change their texts.

Ohkura:

Ohkura has the best writing out of all of them.  Unfortunately, he's a brat.  Can't help but love that laugh of his, though.
"Good morning!  It's a pity even though you're on vacation.  Speaking of Hawaii, that's where I filmed a movie that I'm starring in called "100kai Naku Koto," opening June 22nd.   At that time, I was in excellent condition and didn't catch a cold!  I recommend this movie."
Subaru turns around and tells him that he can't do that.  Hina says that it's totally not what they thought it would be and Emiko-san is stunned speechless.  When she eventually does speak, she says that he used Hawaii as the basis for his last line which is for her to go see his movie.  Hina points out the last heart mark and she says that heart mark is wrong.  Of course, she fails him for that.

Yoko points out that while her message talks about how she'll space out in her room because of her cold, Ohkura must have been doing the same thing when writing his board because they all did that in their dressing room prior to filming,

Ryo:

LOL.
"ALOHA.  For real!?  I'm rooting for you.  But isn't Hawaii a luxury?  You should beat up your cold.  If you go into the ocean, you'll get better.  Please take care of yourself!  ALOHA!!"
Emiko-san really likes his reply!  The ossans are surprised but she explains that his first ALOHA was great and it works better than any medicine.  His text is very positive and she loves the fact that it was kind of like a burst of something.

Yasu:

Yasu.  Bless.  HAHA.
All he says is "Arara" before everyone laughs, gets up and Subaru tries to get the cameras to stop filming.
"Ararararara (kind of like, "oh nooooooo").  That's too bad.  After half a day spacing out, are you better?  I'm sending you a picture in the hopes that it'll at least be a source of energy for you, Kaminuma-sa[n]."
The first thing they point out after the ARARA (he was saying it the same way they said ALOHA which is probably why he messed up in the first place) is that he forgot the "n" after "san."  When Emiko-san asks what picture he'd send her, Yasu says that he'd send a picture of soy sauce senbei.

Hina, Subaru and Emiko-san yell, "You're sending it after the text!" and Maru tells him not to do that.  While Emiko-san says that it was cute, she doesn't pass him.

Hina asks Emiko-san which one she liked the best and she says that Ryo's is.

"I can't trust people who can't eat spicy food!!"
Of course, everyone disagrees and Hina asks right away why she says that.  Emiko-san's reason is that she doesn't like people who aren't lively so she gives the example of how she doesn't like people who leave green onion behind when eating udon and people who can't eat mabo tofu since she says that "mabo" means to shake/shiver.  I'm not sure where she got that definition because that's not what the characters mean, at least on my end (the first character is 'hemp' and the second is 'old woman').  Emiko-san says that you've got to eat mabo tofu that makes you shiver and your eyes roll up in your head, but Hina says, "If you say it that way, you won't be able to eat mabo tofu the next time, right?"  Emiko-san then talks about alcohol meaning that a trustworthy person has to be able to drink alcohol and she calls people who say, "I can't drink alcohol and I can get drunk with oolong tea!" liars because if you say that, you've got some kind of illness.  I guess her point is that if you're going to go out and drink with people but you don't actually drink alcohol and only have oolong tea, it doesn't mean that the tea is free.  So, while everyone else is drinking stuff like beer and getting drunk for their money, people who decide to drink oolong tea end up spending the same or more and don't get anything out of it.

Hina asks her how spicy she can eat and she says quite a bit, like enough that her makeup comes off because she sweats from the spice.  The show prepares really spicy mabo tofu for her and the members but before that, they highlight some spicy food from different restaurants in the Kansai area.  The third dish, mabo tofu, comes from "Daiden Gekken," a famous Chinese restaurant from Shimogyo-ku, Kyoto.   When the head chef comes out with the dishes, you can hear Yoko exclaim, "The colour!" and Maru saying, "It's completely red!"

Yoko says that he can smell how spicy it is just by Emiko-san mixing it next to him and she tells him that he's really loud.

Emiko-san says it's really delicious and the taste has a lot of depth and while it's spicy, there's a sweetness, too.

Yasu and Ohkura take one bite and they both look at each other because it tastes so good.  Ohkura says that it's spicy, but it's a refined spiciness which earns him praise from Emiko-san.

Hina thanks her for coming on their 300th special and she congratulates them for this milestone, but they point out that her show has been on for 18 years.  Hina says that they'll try to aim for having their show run as long as hers.  He asks her what's the secret to her high viewership rating and Emiko-san tells him that she doesn't know.

She laughs while saying that it's probably because as she gets older, she becomes funnier and Yoko says that she praised herself.


Ending
Hina says that it's been four-and-a-half years since Emiko-san was last on their show, so he wants to know if she's noticed anything different about them.  Emiko-san isn't sure what to say, but she says, "Tighter.  Mmm, sunken in?"

Ohkura suggests, "We lost weight?"  Emiko-san says that the more famous they become, their faces become smaller, so she gives the example of Amuro Namie whose face she says is as small as Hassaku orange.

So like Amuro Namie, their faces have become smaller through their growth in popularity and she says, "Ohkura-san, you're really great, huh?"  Hina says that her girly side really came out there.

End notes
- Kaki no Tane (柿の種)
These are one of my favourite snacks (I prefer the soy sauce flavour, but the spicy ones are good, too).  Although, with any hard rice snack, be careful eating too much because they cause micro cracks in your teeth!  For real!  My dentist told me to stop eating them so much because I was compromising the longevity of my already not-so-strong teeth.

- Hanami (花見)
Hanami is "flower viewing" which happens in April when sakura trees bloom.  Japanese people use this opportunity to have picnics beneath the trees and some places get seriously crowded with people, food, booze, kids, and all kinds of other picnic shenanigans.

I would have done the whole episode, but I'm not interested in Ryo's movie and the food part is pretty self-explanatory, I think.  I definitely think that YokoBaruYasu's part was cuter, though.  Their average age with just those three is 30 and they all were like children when they found the takenoko.  Too adorable!

Ryo annoyed me this episode.  Sometimes he's really moody and I sometimes feel like he has trouble separating his personal life from his work on Janiben.  There are times where he looks like he'd rather die than listen to a guest speak and yes, I know, he's tired a lot because of his acting, but Hina works more than any of the other members and he's always the same 100% everywhere he goes.  Ryo needs better work ethic and I'm not saying that he wasn't tuned in this episode, but he needed to think a bit before saying some of the things he said to Emiko-san because there IS a right way to correct someone without offending them.  Emiko-san is a good sport because she's a comedian and probably nothing ever bothers her anymore.  I'm sure some of you might be thinking that I'm harsh on him, but Ryo is my #2, so I expect better from him.  I don't think that his acid tongue is always charming.  In fact, Ohkura is much better at making fun of people and this is coming from me who complains about Ohkura like 80% of the time.

Anyway, since this is done, the next one will be Kuwabata Ohara and then probably Kawaguchi Haruna.  I'm skipping models (obvs), Hamaka-n (but I might do the latter half of this one because the judo part is hilarious) and probably Kiritani Mirei (don't care enough about her despite knowing that she's Ohkura's leading lady in 100kai) to catch up because I'm really, REALLY behind.

As always, DO NOT REPOST and DO NOT HOTLINK IMAGES.
Tags: janiben, summary
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