Here's the next chapter, continued from previously. You can also follow my journal if you like :D
Title: Interlude 2 - Moments Can Hurt
Pairing: Heechul/Kyuhyun or Kyuchul, they can't tell either. Guest Starring Sungmin meddling, thank heaven.
Summary: Sungmin wants to know what Heechul did to Kyuhyun. Heechul gives in.
A week later everyone in the two Super Junior apartments has noticed something is wrong between the magnae and Heechul. Neither of the two are saying much but the tension is thick enough to cut with a knife and most telling of all is that Heechul refused to eat the infamous steamed buns when they were offered to him. Each time anyone asks what is wrong, he gets a sarcastic remark for his trouble.
Sungmin decides that he's had enough of it. Especially when he knows Kyuhyun is crying every single night, deeply and painfully enough to make his own chest ache. Even smothered by pillows and blankets, the sound is full of terrible hurt. Secondly, he knows better than anyone how Kyuhyun feels about Heechul, simply by virtue of their being both friends and room mates. This has to stop. He stalks upstairs to the higher level apartment and barely knocks before entering. Sungmin is pleased to see that the apartment is quiet, most everyone is downstairs watching a movie and that's good. Kyuhyun is hiding behind his computer and Heechul is up here evidently pouting.
He walks straight back to Heechul's room, gives a brief knock and walks straight in. Heechul starts shrieking at Sungmin daring to enter his sanctum without permission but Sungmin ignores him.
"What'd you do to Kyuhyunnie?" he demands loudly, folding his arms and making it clear he's not leaving til he gets an answer.
"I didn't do anything to him," Heechul responds, shaking his hair back and feigning disinterest. His heart pangs with guilt and love and he unconsciously rubs his chest as if it pains him.
Sungmin shakes his head and walks over closer to Heechul, right in his personal space. "Don't be stupid. I know you did something. He's crying himself to sleep every night, you idiot, now what'd you do?"
Heechul reaches out a hand to automatically slap Sungmin in the head but it's not as hard as it usually is. "Don't call me names," Heechul orders and tries to step around Sungmin. "He's a baby, Sungmin, that's all. Just a baby," he says with as much venom as he can infuse in the words. He should be my baby, Heechul thinks sadly.
"You're fucking lying to me, Heenim and it's pissing me off," Sungmin hisses and turns so he can stay right in Heechul's way. "I know something happened and I want you to tell me what it is. You have to fix this."
"Shut up!" Heechul pushes Sungmin out of his way and plops down on a big chair, curling up in it with his arms around his knees and his face against them. "I can't fix it. I tore it up too well. Anyway, he'll...he'll get over it, soon," he mutters.
"He won't. If you really think that you don't know him at all. He's deep, man, once he gets something in his head, it stays there." Sungmin runs his hands through his hair and tugs on the ends on the back of his neck. He needs a haircut.
Heechul makes a sound that is too close to a sob for Sungmin's comfort. "He has to get over it. He has to," Heechul says in a choked voice. "I'm...i'm no good for him, not at all."
Even though this situation is serious, Sungmin can't help rolling his eyes. "Hyung, what are you talking about?" he demands, walking over and tugging none too gently on the folds of Heechul's tee shirt. "Kyuhyunnie is more than capable of making up his own mind, you know."
"No, he's not." Heechul shakes his head and looks at Sungmin. "Not about me. He thinks he loves me...me...I feel like some kind of evil demon just being near him - the way I think about him, feel about him. It's sick."
Sungmin is stunned into silence for a moment when he sees the tell tale tear streaks on Heechul's face. The older man never cries, never, ever.
"Wait, slow down. You mean...he loves you and you love him and you...what?" Sungmin asks after a few minutes of silence. He really feels like he needs someone older and wiser to deal with this mess but nobody else is willing to brave the "Wrath of Heenim,", not even for the magnae. Well, Umma would but he's been gone the last few days and hasn't seen what's going on.
Heechul grinds his teeth. He'd like very much to deny that he loves Kyuhyun but that's really impossible right now. He's already denied so much, to deny this basic fact is almost worse than what he's already done to the younger man.
"He...I...we....we made out in the hall one night, late....God he's gorgeous," Heechul stutters out. "I wanted to ravish him, do all kinds of dirty, filthy sexy things to him. He was begging me, so beautiful." He is speaking softly, rushing to get the words out, as if this is some kind of religious confession, even though Heechul is an atheist.
Sungmin puts his hands in his jeans pockets, bending a bit so he can hear Heenim. He'd like to smack his hyung upside the head a few times to knock some sense into him. "So? What's wrong with that? You love him, he loves you, you want each other, big deal," he says flatly.
"Idiot," Heechul growls, standing up fast and pacing around the room. "Kyuhyun is innocent, he barely knows how to kiss. He's religious and good and sweet and I'm....I'm not. He needs somebody sweet like he is." It hurts so much to admit this but it's the truth. Heechul is an incubus compared to Kyuhyun, despite the younger man's tendency towards sarcasm and sharpness. That's just protective coloration as far as Heechul's concerned.
Sungmin's mouth drops open and he barely avoids getting smacked in the chest with Heechul's head when he jumps up so fast. "Hyung, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say," he announces after a moment. "And that's the reason you've hurt Kyuhyunnie so badly that he's not eating and barely speaking and crying every night when he thinks I'm asleep?"
"Is he really? Crying every night I mean? I thought...I thought he just had a crush and he'd...he'd get over me if I pushed him away." Heechul suddenly wants to scream and bash his fist through a wall. For once in his life he's trying to do what he thinks is the right thing and it hurts like an open wound, a knife slicing right through him.
"Yes," Sungmin answers, trying to make it clear to Heechul how serious this is. "And you should know better. Kyuhyun doesn't get crushes. He's too ...too Kyuhyun. If he loves you, he loves you hard." There's no point in being mean about this with Heechul, he thinks. His hyung is already suffering almost as much as Kyuhyun, he can see that now.
"Oh, God," Heechul mutters and buries his face in his hands. "He hates me now, you know. I made him hate me...I had to...I wanted to....I just wanted to be good for him. I more or less told him I was just playing with him." He bites his lower lip hard and unconsciously pulls at his hair.
"He doesn't hate you, Heenim, if he did, he wouldn't cry like that. He loves you and you've hurt him to the bones. You have to make it right." Sungmin answers, folding his arms again.
"There's no way to make what I did right," Heechul answers, squeezing his temples as if to make himself think up some strategy. Seduction is his favorite game, right? It should be easy to get Kyuhyun's attention. But no, he should be groveling at Kyuhyun's feet, apologizing, promising him anything he wants.
Sungmin clucks a few times. "You could start by saying how sorry you are and that you're an idiot and that you love him," he advises. "Fix this, Heenim. I can't stand watching him suffer...or you either." He gives Heechul a hug, and walks out of the apartment.
Two days later, Heechul has convinced Sungmin to help him by getting the rest of their band mates downstairs again for another movie and he texts Kyuhyun.
Fucker: Come upstairs. I want to talk to you.
Me: Why should I?
Fucker: It's important. Don't make me come and get you.
Me: You couldn't. Everyone's here.
Fucker: Wanna bet?
Kyuhyun tells himself he's the biggest fool in the history of fools when he changes into those skin tight jeans Sungmin made him buy and an old button up shirt with a faint blue pinstripe. Even if Heechul notices it won't matter and he's just asking to be used again. He blinks hard to push back the far too ready tears rising to his eyes and stomps up the stairs to the second apartment. I hate you I hate you I hate you he thinks over and over. It helps to keep the painful sensations of love and hope and need at bay. Knocking briefly on the door, Kyuhyun shoves it open and walks in.
Heechul is no where to be seen and he clears his throat, calling out. "Where are you, fucker?" he asks, keeping his voice hard and tough.
Heechul feels his heart jump up in his throat just at the sound of Kyuhyun's voice, so rough and mean sounding that it's a whole other kind of turn on at the same time that it hurts that Kyuhyun's tone is no longer sweet and caressing.
"I'm here, he calls, stepping out into the main room of the apartment. He's wearing tight leather pants in bright purple worn low on his hips and an open sequined blazer with a scarf draped around his neck. Perhaps he's an idiot but he needs every advantage and this outfit is guaranteed to get the attention of anyone not certifiably dead.
Hissing between his teeth as his eyes devour every inch of sexy sexy Heechul he can see despite his best intentions, Kyuhyun folds his arms. "What do you want?" he asks in a growl. He absolutely refuses to show that he's still attracted to the older man, still wants him, needs him...loves him. God he's pretty though.
"I wanted to talk to you, Kyuhyun," Heechul answers, keeping his voice soft though it's damn hard not to just fling himself into the younger man's arms and kiss every bit of skin he can reach.
"So, talk. I thought you said everything you wanted to say already." Kyuhyun props his hands on his hips and half turns away from Heechul. It's the only way he can keep from throwing himself at the man and groveling and he's...just not going to lower himself any more than he already has. His heart throbs in his chest.
"I...don't know where to start," Heechul confesses quietly, hoping Kyuhyun will look up at him but he's denied that. He takes a few steps closer to the other man and gnaws at his lip.
"I...I lied," he finally says after the silence lengthens to the point that Heechul feels frozen.
"About what, exactly," Kyuhyun asks, flicking a quick glance at Heechul's pretty face and looking away. The look on Heechul's face is making his chest ache and he bites his lip.
"When I said...I just wanted to see how far you'd let me go...when I made it seem...I didn't care," Heechul answers, feeling tears prick at the back of his eyes. Does he have any right to cry he wonders, when he's caused so much pain.
"Oh really?" Kyuhyun almost snarls the words and steps around Heechul, needing more room and feeling trapped against the door. "Why would you do that? Just to see me in pain over you? Is that what you like? Torture?"
Heechul sighs, and spins on a heel, following Kyuhyun's path around the room with his eyes. "It's not...I knew it would hurt you but...I meant it for the best...I..."
"The best?" Kyuhyun turns on Heechul and wonders how it would feel to punch the older man, if it would give him any satisfaction or just hurt worse to mess up that pretty face. "For who? The best for who? The fuck are you talking about?"
"Please, Kyuhyun...please...just listen...I'm sorry..." Heechul can't stand it. He'd let Kyuhyun hit him, beat him if it would ease this pain, if it would make things better. The pleas for the younger man's attention, the apology slips out of his mouth with far greater ease than he ever imagined.
"You're saying please? You? You're sorry!" Kyuhyun's voice cracks with pent up pain and anger and fierce passion. "Well that makes things all better then," he adds sarcastically. "Perfectly fine!"
"I mean it...I do. Please Kyuhyun...listen to me. I said what I said because a man like me...I'm not pure like you, I'm not...not good like you. I'm spoiled and I'm reckless and I'm sexual and...and...I wanted...you to have someone better than me." Heechul finds himself rushing to explain, words spilling out of his mouth faster and faster and he reaches out to touch Kyuhyun's pale face.
Kyuhyun knocks Heechul's hand away and glares at him, panting suddenly with the need to breathe around so much anger and pain and the tiny, tiny glimmer of hope. "How dare you? I'm a grown man. I can decide what I want. I've been deciding for a long time. Who do you think you are?"
Heechul finds himself falling to his knees on the floor, his hands tucked against his chest to keep him from reaching out to Kyuhyun, clinging to him. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. I just...I don't deserve your love, Kyuhyun. I didn't think so...I don't think so...I thought...I'm sorry," he's stuttering and fighting against the tears building in a knot in his throat. He was so stupid, so damned stupid.
"My God, I hate you," Kyuhyun swears, backing up until his back hits a wall and he's staring at Heechul. "How could you? I loved you, you know? I really really...I would have given you anything you asked for...just like I promised and you turned my love into nothing..."
Heechul cringes and the first anguished tear slips down his cheek. "I'm sorry...I thought I was protecting you...taking away from myself the thing I wanted most, because I love you so much. I do, Kyuhyun...I love you, adore you, crazy for you." He can feel a sob burning in his chest and he hunches over against it. He has no right to grovel and plead, even though that's what he wants to do and that very feeling should astonish him but it doesn't.
Kyuhyun makes a chopping motion. "Shut up, Heenim," he orders, his voice softer than it was before. Kyuhyun feels something welling inside him, a flicker of understanding, a whisper of knowledge. When was the last time Heechul ever sacrificed something he wanted for another. Ever? If he's not lying now...that means.
"Say it again. Say you love me," he says quietly, firmly.
Heechul lifts his head slowly, almost holding his breath. There's no way to read Kyuhyun's expression but he licks his lips and does as he was asked.
"I love you Kyuhyun. I'm yours..." Heechul speaks in a near whisper, his voice hoarse with emotion. Another tear slides down his cheek, and then another.
"Really?" Kyuhyun's tone is doubful but he reaches out and smoothes his thumb through the tears on Heechul's face. "You really expect me to just fall into your arms after how you treated me? Just because you cry so prettily and say you're mine?"
"Please," Heechul answers. "Just...give me a chance to show you," he asks softly, looking into Kyuhyun's eyes.
"No one else, Heenim," Kyuhyun says slowly. "No one else, you're mine. Swear it."
"Oh, God, Kyuhyun...I do, I swear, just you...I need you...I love you..." Heechul can't believe this is him, saying these things, reaching out to grab the folds of Kyuhyun's shirt in his hands.
"Prove it," Kyuhyun demands, leaning down to place his lips very lightly over Heechul's.