Little Miss I Must Have an Opinion on Everything (evil_zucchini) wrote in miracle______,
Little Miss I Must Have an Opinion on Everything

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Title: Acceptance
Author: Kaye
Pairing: Shichul/Shihan, slight Kichul
Rating: PG
Summary: Heechul goes through five stages of grief
A/N: I got the idea for this fic while reading The Princess Diaries, of all things xD And I find it slightly funny that my first ever SJ fic isn’t of my OTP. Hohoho.


Noontime is when everyone eats lunch. Most days, you’re the first one down, happy, cheerful and flirting shamelessly with everyone in the house. Today you’re still in bed, covering your head with your pillow and hoping that it was nothing but a nightmare. You want to smother the image out of your head, but every time you close your eyes, all you can see is Shiwon pressing his lips against Hankyung’s. 


You get out of bed only to use the bathroom, but even there you aren’t safe because you walk in on Sungmin and Donghae giggling hysterically as they splash soapy water at each other in the bathtub. It isn’t them who you want to scream obscenities at, but you do it anyway because you need to get it out of your system. “You’re the one who’s always fucking around with everyone,” Eeteuk reprimands, tired of having to play peacemaker all the time. His words reverberate endlessly in your head. You know that it’s your fault that Shiwon left you, but it doesn’t mean that you have to admit it.


Anger claws at your insides but you’re tired of feeling this way. When Shiwon comes into your room to see if you’re alright, you hang onto him as long as you can, sobbing pathetically onto his shirt. “I want to be yours again,” you plead. You promise all sorts of things, like undying devotion and never-ending fidelity if he takes you back, but he is too used to your broken promises to believe you.


Friday night is your night to pick ice cream. You feign slumber; eyes squeezed shut and hands wrapped protectively around your middle. You expect Kibum to try and talk to you when you hear the bedsprings squeak in protest at his weight, but he does nothing but brush your hair away from your forehead and wrap the blankets tighter around your body. A small part of you wants to thank him, but the bigger part could hardly care anymore.


Heartbroken people are hardly immune to ice cream cravings so you get out of bed and pad towards the kitchen. The Haagen-Daz you find in the freezer is Kangin’s but you take it anyway, eating a spoonful as you walk back to your room. You see Shiwon and Hankyung, asleep on the couch with their arms around each other. It strikes you as odd that you hardly feel any hate or anger. You blame it on heartbreak, the fact that you’re so numb now, but soon realize that it isn’t that. You stand there for a few more minutes and see Shiwon stir. He looks at you, his dark eyes penetrating. He wants to know if you’re alright. “I’m okay,” you whisper and it feels truer than any lie you’ve ever told.


I don’t like it. x_X It’s too…urk. I lack consistency in my paragraphs. 
My back hurts.

Tags: pairing: hangeng/siwon, pairing: heechul/siwon
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