Characters: Heechul, Siwon
From the roof of the building, Heechul can see the entire town layed out before him. The people on the street look like little tiny dots, rushing madly about, everyone in a hurry to get somewhere, do something, see someone... He can't help but feel like he's a different plane of being, separated from the world below. Time seems to move so slowly up here.
A warm breeze ruffles his hair, the familiar feeling still different, somehow. It's because his hair is short now- though it's been short for months. He still hasn't quite gotten used to it. He cut it because he needed a shock, a change, something to ripple the still waters of his life. Though life is hectic- between performances, photoshoots, recording sessions, TV appearances- he can't help but feel like it's all the same thing over and over again. Because it is- it's a cycle that repeats. And he loves his bandmates, and he loves his friends and his family, and he loves his petals, and he loves his life... But he can't help but long for something more.
But what exactly is that something more? He's nearing thirty now... He knows that Super Junior won't last forever. He even understands that he won't be an idol forever. He'll grow old, be discarded by fans who once worshipped him, dropped by the label as yesterday's hit. And while he knows he made friendships that will last forever, he also knows that these friendships will change with time. They won't be the same, years from now, nothing will be the same.
He's feeling rather sentimental today. He hates himself for it. He loves to live in the moment, always happy, chattering on about nonsense and how good-looking he is and how fun life is... But sometimes it all gets too much. That's when he comes up here, where no one can see him in his moment of weakness. It's one spot he can hide away from the world, and just be himself. Not Cinderella, not Heenim, not the flower boy idol, but just simply Kim Heechul. Himself, and nothing else. He thinks deep thoughts up here, or at least he likes to think so. They're deep to him anyway, even if they don't matter in the grand scheme of things.
The grand scheme of things... That's what he's been contemplating tonight. The future scares him, though he'll never admit it aloud. The unknown is too much for him. He likes to know things, not knowing leaves him vulnerable and weak. And he hates being weak. That's why he's always so strong, so forceful with the other members. He pushes them around before they can get a chance to push him around. And it's worked so far. But will it work in the future?
Dammit, that stupid word again! He can feel hot tears welling up in his eyes, only through sheer will does he manage to stop them from spilling out onto his face. A lump in the back of his throat, trembling hands clenched into fists… Shaking, he grasps the edge of the low wall that encloses the roof, he leans over, and he lets loose a shout that's at once a cry of anguish, frustration, anger, and relief.
He feels strong arms embrace him from behind, circling his stomach. He feels the warmth engulf him, the pressure of a chin resting on his shoulder. He can feel the other man's breath on the skin of his neck, the press of lips to his temple. He closes his eyes, finally allowing the tears to escape, trailing down his cheeks in little rivulets.
"Are you okay, hyung?" Siwon's voice is calm, strong, yet gentle and concerned. Heechul shakes his head violently, wrapping his own arms around Siwon's embrace. He opens his eyes, still crying, but refusing to sob. He stares forward sharply, almost angrily, defiantly stubborn. But the tears keep coming, and he turns his head towards Siwon, still trembling.
"What's going to happen to us?" There are so many possible meanings for that simple question, but Siwon knows exactly what Heechul is asking. Shaking his head, he squeezes tighter, pulling Heechul back from the wall and closer to his chest. "I don't know, hyung. No one knows."
Heechul nods dumbly, winding his long, slender fingers in Siwon's thick, strong ones. He loses himself for a moment, he can feel his heart beating in its cage- strong, quick, frightened. He can feel Siwon's heartbeat as well- loud and steady and reassuring. Slowly the tears begin to recede, both his mind and expression start to calm, his breathing falls into a steady rhythm, matching that of Siwon's heart.
Siwon leans forward far enough to kiss the corner of Heechul's mouth- not seductively, not teasingly, but soft and sweetly. "But I promise you, hyung…"
The sun is setting, warm and golden. "The future will be okay."