yuki (yukishirou) wrote in miracle______,
yuki
yukishirou
miracle______

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Title:
I wanna hold you
Genre: Fluff-ish
Raiting: PG-13
Pairing: KangTeuk, SiChul, KiHae, KyuMin.
Disclaimer: Oh yeah, I own them. That's why I'm sitting here, writing a fic about them.
Warning(s): My bad writing?
Summary: Kang In doesn't know what to do with his feelings for Ee Teuk, Hee Chul gives in to Si Won, Ki Bum and Dong Hae are just cute and happy (right now anyway) and Sung Min is really attached to Kyu Hyun... and pink bunnies.
Note: This is my first fanfic ever! And it totally sucks XD please comment~

Kang In has always loved his hyung. From the day they met, he thought Ee Teuk was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

He still finds Ee Teuk attractive, even though he knows that it would never work because both of them were men.

But no matter how hard he tried to forget his feelings for his hyung, they wouldn’t go away.

Once he even whispered in Ee Teuk’s ear under one of their lives before leaving the stage, “I love you” and then giving him a small kiss on his cheek before letting him go from their hug.

But as always Ee Teuk was too oblivious to even think about the chance of Kang In being in love with him and just said “What did you say, Kang In-ssi? I didn’t hear you.”

The other members always thought Kang In was a bit strange when he fell into that coma of his.
They would even scare him sometimes when he was in his deep and lost admiration of Ee Teuk.

And every time Kang In would get angry and chase after them like a furious rhino.

 

Hee Chul seemed to be the only one actually noticing Kang In’s interest in Ee Teuk, but every time he was about to point it out and ask them about it, he was interupted by one of the other members, mostly when they were going to scare the living hell out of poor Kang In.

But then again, Hee Chul got his own relationship to think about, with a man who he have been completely clueless about having the least feelings for.

Si Won has always been protecting Hee Chul and it was just recently that the princess actually started to appriciate Si Won’s sweet and caring love for his hyung.

And the fact that Si Won was one of the handsomest men Hee Chul had ever met, wasn’t a bad thing either.

When he finally told Si Won about his feelings, after going through it for a long time, he never thought Si Won would react like he did.

Just after mumbling out everything he had been so carefully thinking about, Si Won just stood there, staring at Hee Chul like he had just slaped him across the face, which he does, quite often – but not intensionally hurting him.

Hee Chul was just about to run away, locking himself in his room to cry about the embarassment he had just been through, when Si Won suddently hugged him.

He felt the warm embrace of the taller man, just when his tears where about to fall from his beautiful face.

“I’ve loved you for a long time, hyung. But I always thought you just liked me as a dong saeng.”

“I-I didn’t know...” he said, trying to take in what Si Won just told him.

After that, Hee Chul did something he thought he would never do. He gave up his pride and gave in to Si Won.
Even though he still thinks he will never get used to the feeling of being close to someone else, he’s happier than ever.

 

But then there’s still Kang In.

Hee Chul was even a little worried that Kang In would make the same mistake as Hee Chul himself almost did, not being true to his heart.

He didn’t know what to do to help Kang In.
Because he knew Kang In, and he’s not someone who open up easily.

 

Next day, the boys decided to watch a movie together in the dorm.

They didn’t even get halfway through the first horror movie that Hee Chul had insisted to watch, when they wanted food – again.

Han Kyung refused to cook for all of them, “I’m tired, make it yourself!” so Ee Teuk stood up from the chair he had pulled up infront of the TV, and started to move to the kitchen.

The boys all screamed out of pure happiness, scaring little Sung Min in the progress, who was curled up against Kyu Hyun, too terrified to even move after watching the horror-movie that Hee Chul wouldn’t let him exchange to Bambi.

Hee Chul was not going to sit there, listening to half of the boys crying to the sad ending.

Before preparing to make dinner for the other members, Ee Teuk made his way through the jungle-like hallway where the others had just throwed their jackets and bags on the floor.

He went to find Sung Min’s bag and picking up a pink bunny to give to Sung Min, still too scared to leave Kyu Hyun.

Sung Min was going to thank Ee Teuk by kissing him on the cheek, like he does sometimes before going to bed, but Kyu Hyun stops them halfway by putting his hand between them.

No one was going to touch his Sung Min.

Ee Teuk just snickered, finding them so cute, Kyu Hyun really is protective when it comes to Sung Min.

The boys started complaining that their ‘umma’ was taking too much time.

“I’m going, I’m going.”, Ee Teuk said calmly, already used to their non-existant patience when it came to food.

 

Kang In stared at Ee Teuk leaving him and the livingroom behind.

He didn’t know what to do, should he stay and wait while watching the other members crawling on the floor like lizards, or should he follow his hyung and confess, now that Ee Teuk couldn’t make too much of a scene, because of the other boys presence?
He decided that it was now or never, if he waited any more he would probably just put it aside even longer, until it was too late and Ee Teuk was already taken.

“I can do this, I’m Kang In, the number one crazy guy in Korea!”

The crazy guy-part made him hesitate, feeling immature and a little stupid.

But this was it, he wasn´t going to back down this time!

He stood up so fast that he made some of the boys staring at him, thinking he was going to jump out the window.

He just stood there, like he was glued to the floor, but then finding his way to the kitchen with decisive steps, almost looking like a soldier.

The other members just ignored Kang In’s little parade through the living room, and continued to having nothing to do.

 

When he got to the kitchen, he saw Ee Teuk standing by the stove, making one of Kang In’s favorite meals.

He smiled when Ee Teuk brushed his bangs from his eyes, muttering a little, thinking it was too long and that he should cut it.

Walking up behind him, he put his arms around Ee Teuk’s waist.

Ee Teuk turned his face around, just to see who it was.

“Is there something wrong, Kang In-ssi?” he said with that gentle voice of his.

Kang In stoped for just a second, trying to find the right thing to say without sounding like an idiot.

“It’s nothing...”, regretting it the second he said it.

“Oh. Okay, good”, Ee Teuk smiled, Kang In only getting to see Ee Teuk’s right dimple, which he wanted to kiss so bad right at that moment.

But he just stood there, holding Ee Teuk’s waist and leaning his chin against his shoulder.

Just when he thought he should say something, Ee Teuk broke the silence.

“You know, it’s kind of nice... You holding me like this.”
Kang In wasn’t sure, but he thought Ee Teuk sounded a bit nervous.

He never felt so happy, nothing could ever compare to this.

Before Ee Teuk knew it, Kang In had almost throwed him into his arm, hugging him tightly and kissing his neck so light making Ee Teuk shiver a bit.

“Kang In... Wha-what are you doing..?” Ee Teuk said shocked.

“Hyung... I-I-“ Kang In didn’t know what to say.

The feeling of holding his hyung like this was almost more than he could take, just talking was too hard for him right then.

“I... like you.”, he finally said, so soft that Ee Teuk almost couldn’t hear it.

“I like you too, Kang In. But-“
”I don’t think that you know what I mean, hyung. I really like you.” Kang In said with tears in his eyes. This was almost to hard for him.

Ee Teuk just stood there, with his arms hanging down, unable to push Kang In away or even hug him.

 

The other members was getting tired of waiting and started to argue about who should get up and complain to Ee Teuk why he was taking so much time.

But nobody would give in, they were all too hungry to go anywhere.

Atleast that’s what they used as an excuse.

It became quiet.

The boys was keeping themselves occupied with various of things while waiting for the food to be done, neither of them having any interest of helping their ‘umma’ with the cooking so it would go faster.

Sung Min was playing with his bunny while Kyu Hyun watched him with adoring eyes.

Dong Hae and Ki Bum was armwrestling on the floor, Dong Hae of course cheating by using both of his arms.

“It’s not fair, you’re too strong!” Dong Hae whined.

“Well, I do box a lot.” Ki Bum said laughing scornfully.

Ryeo Wook and Ye Sung was playing cards and by the look of it, Ye Sung was wining.

While Ryeo Wook seemed to sulk about it, knowing he was about to loose, Ye Sung just sat looking at him with a huge grin.
Ye Sung didn’t hate wining, more like the opposite.

Han Kyung was showing Eun Hyuk some ballet-moves, and laughing while Eun Hyuk tried to copy him, but instead just looking like a complete idiot, tripping and falling on the floor almost every time he was going to twirl.

Shin Dong was poking Hee Chul’s arm, trying to get his attention.

Hee Chul ignored him, even though it was starting to irritate him.

“Hyung, I want to plaaaay!”, Shin Dong cried out.

“Leave me alone! I don’t want to play.” Hee Chul said while trying to restrain himself from hitting Shin Dong’s arm.
”But everyone is having so much fun...”
”Play with them then, and let me be bored in peace!”
Hee Chul didn’t want to leave the couch, or rather, he didn’t want to leave Si Won who was sitting next to him, watching him with those loving eyes of his.
Shin Dong went to laugh at Eun Hyuk instead, who still didn’t want to give up.
Hee Chul then looked at the direction to the kitchen, wondering what was going on in there.

“I´m not going to get involved with their problems.” He said to himself.

And just when he turned his head back to watch the other members playing in the livingroom, he felt a quick peck on his cheek.

He looked at Si Won who was smiling happily at him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he said a bit embarrased, starting to blush a little.
”What if someone see us?” he whispered.

“I’m sorry, hyung. But I couldn’t restrain myself.” Si Won said with an amused smile.

Hee Chul didn’t know what to do, all he could do was just to stare at Si Won’s smirk, reminding Hee Chul of himself.

“If someone saw us, I’m going to punish you.” he said while pouting like a little kid.

“A kiss from you and I would do anything.” Si Won showing a bright smile back at him.

Hee Chul looked away, hiding the little blush moving up to his face and smiled happily, totally content with Si Won’s unexpected kiss.

And while the others where goofing around, Hee Chul reached out for Si Won’s big, strong hand under the pillows, feeling the warmth of Si Won’s hand surrounding his own, smaller one.

Si Won was so happy that Hee Chul wanted to hold his hand, that he could jump around in the room screaming ‘I love you, hyung!’, but didn’t want Hee Chul to get angry at him, so he just sat there and enjoyed the feeling of Hee Chul’s hand in his, hoping that moment would last forever.

 

Ee Teuk still couldn’t move, but thought he should say something.

“Kang In-ssi... I-“ he stopped when he heard Kang In taking a deep, unsteady breath, shaking a little while trying to get himself together.

 “I need to get dinner ready” he finished.

Kang In just stayed silent, not letting Ee Teuk move at all.

After a couple of seconds he whiped the tears he unwillingly let falling from his face, and straightened himself up.

“So you don’t feel anything for me at all?” he said still crying, with a forceful expression while he tried to get himself together.

“I... I don’t know.” Ee Teuk said silently.

“If you don’t know now, then you won’t know later either.” Kang In paused. “I’ve loved you since the day I met you, but if you can’t show anything back, other than hesitation of me blurting out my feelings, you don’t feel the same way that I feel about you.”
”Kang In...” Ee Teuk said almost crying himself. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt one of his closest friends.

“I’m sorry to disturb you. I’ll leave now.” Kang In said, slowly walking away from Ee Teuk, who still couldn’t move.

“Kang-“ Ee Teuk turned around after the thought of leaving Kang In crying alone, having no one to confine to.

But he couldn’t see Kang In.

Ee Teuk thought for a second  that he had gotten haunted by some ghost or something, because who could disapear so fast?
Just when he was about to get a glas of water, suddently being really thirsty, he saw Kang In kneeling on the floor at the door-opening with his back facing Ee Teuk.

Ee Teuk just watched Kang In, wondering what he was still doing in the kitchen.

‘Atleast it wasn’t a ghost’ Ee Teuk thought to himself, taking a deep breath of relief.

“Kang In-ssi...”
Kang In just sat there, not moving without making a sound.

Ee Teuk moved towards Kang In, walking around him so they faced each other.

He looked at Kang In’s face just to see him crying, tears falling from his face like a waterfall.

“Oh, Kang In..” Ee Teuk said, hugging him without thinking.

Kang In twitched when he felt Ee Teuk holding him tenderly.

But before Ee Teuk could stroke his head, Kang In stood up, fists shaking and head hanging down, trying to hide his tears.

“I don’t want anyone to see me cry!” he said

Ee Teuk just squated on the floor, looking a little like a frog, and watched Kang In with despair in his eyes.

“I really care for you, I really do. But-“
”Don’t say anything. I don’t want to hear it.” Kang In said while shaking.

Just when Ee Teuk took a step forward to comfort him once again, Kang In ran out of the kitchen.

The other members didn’t even notice him, with Kang In being as silent as he could, so the others wouldn’t see him.

Then the boys saw Ee Teuk, who was still looking at the bedroom door where Kang In had locked himself in.

“Hyung!” they all yelled almost at the same time.

Ee Teuk turned around, a bit frightened of the sudden suprise.

“Is dinner ready yet?”
”Ehm, well..” Ee Teuk paused, just to look at the bedroom door for a couple of seconds. “...In a couple of minutes.”
”What?! It’s been almost half an hour already!” the boys whined.

“Something is burning...” Ki Bum said ignorant.

Ee Teuk was still staring at the bedroom door, not hearing anything the others said.

“My kitchen! You burn my kitchen!” Han Kyung said with his korean accent.

Han Kyung runs to the kitchen, followed by a bunch of riled up boys, leaving Si Won and Hee Chul behind.

Ee Teuk wakes up by a sudden scream.

“Food is ruined! My beautiful kitchen!” Han Kyung just stood there in shock, hands runing down his face, making him look like the man in the painting The Scream.*

The other boys just stood there laughing, while Han Kyung was about to have a breakdown.

When Ee Teuk came into the kitchen to comfort him, Han Kyung rushed out of the kitchen, him too locking himself into another bedroom.

“This isn’t a good day” Ee Teuk sighed, the boys still laughing at the mess.

 

Hee Chul and Si Won was happy to finally be left alone and took the chance to cuddle a bit.

Sure, it wasn’t an unusual thing for Hee Chul to take advantage of Si Won’s shoulder once or twice, but this time Si Won took Hee Chul into his arms, hugging him tightly.

“You look really lovely tonight, hyung.”
”I know.” Hee Chul said with a concieted smirk.

And before Hee Chul knew it, Si Won turned his head around and kissed him.

He just stared at Si Won before closing his eyes, leaning into the kiss and putting his arms around Si Won’s neck.

They stayed like that for a while.

But suddenly Hee Chul broke the kiss, making Si Won’s pout because of the lost.

“What if someone comes in?”
”I have no problem with anyone seeing us together.” Si Won said smiling.

“But I have!” Hee Chul almost screamed out, looking at the direction of the kitchen, hoping that no one heard him.

Fortunatly the other boys where still joking around in the kitchen, compeiting who could imitate Han Kyung the best.

Si Won just looked at Hee Chul.

“I thought you wanted to be with me...”

“I do, but I don’t know if I’m ready to tell the world” he said, not meeting Si Won’s eyes.

“Is it because we are celebrities, or because we are both men?”

Hee Chul hesitated, he wasn’t sure what he was saying.

“I want to be free to do what ever I want, without anyone hanging around my neck.” he said, coming out colder then what he had expected.

”Not even the one who loves you more than anything in this world?” Si Won said with hurtful eyes.

Hee Chul stopped for a bit. ‘Did he say loves?’ he shook his head. ‘I must be hearing things’

“I don’t want a relationship where I have to think about someone else all the time.”
”You don’t have to think about me all the time...” Si Won said, hanging his head down in disappointment.
He stoped, trying to get his words together.

“Hyung, I lo-“
”What are you two doing here all alone?” Eun Hyuk said teasing.
Si Won looked suprised at the unwelcomed guests, being the rest of Super Junior, besides Kang In and Han Kyung who seemed to have gone elsewhere.

The boys still watching Si Won and Hee Chul in confusion.

“I can’t do this” Hee Chul mumbled, leaving the livingroom to lock himself in the last bedroom – if this continues, they’ll have to get more bedrooms.

“What... is happening here?” Sung Min said sad, while holding on to his bunny and being hugged by Kyu Hyun from behind.

“Why is everyone so angry?” he said anxious.

Kyu Hyun stroke his hair, saying that he shouldn’t worry.

“You know how Hee Chul hyung is.” Kyu Hyun said comfortly.
”Mm.”
And the rest looked at eachother and nodded.

Ee Teuk seeming to be the only one understanding Si Won, who looks like he just wants to sink through earth.

 

Ki Bum puts his arms around Dong Hae, who in his turn puts his hands on Ki Bum’s, turning around smiling at him.

“You really like to hug people, don’t you, Ki Bumie?” Dong Hae asked while smiling carefree, like he always does.

“Yes, but only when it comes to you,” he gives Dong Hae a peck on the cheek “then I love hugs.. among many other things.”

Dong Hae giggled.

“Want to play armwrestling?” Ki Bum imitated Dong Hae in his cute english accent, just like he said when they visited the English Village in their show Full House.

“But you always win!” Dong Hae pouted.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Ki Bum said, hugging him tighter “if you want, we can lay a puzzle instead?
”Oh, a puzzle! I love puzzles!” Dong Hae almost squealed.

“I know you do, and that’s why...” Ki Bum pauses just to tease the overly curious Dong Hae “I bought you a brand new one today!”
Dong Hae lit up, turning around to give Ki Bum a big hug, almost making him fall over.
Ki Bum smiled.

“You know there´s no one I love more than you, hyung”
Dong Hae giggled.

“You’re so weird, Ki Bumie” he said and kissed Ki Bum just when the others where talking about ordering pizza.

 

To be continued?


* I´m not sure if that´s the real name. Is it? I just know the swedish version.

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