Title: 12 reasons why no one realizes I'm the greatest, as told by Sungmin
Authoress: me, the junkie of kenshin
Genre: crack-ish, um, i have no clue what to call it
Warning: light swearing, implied sex, dildos, and slut!kyuhyun
Summary: what happens after Sungmin listens to w-inds. song "LOVE IS THE GREATEST THING"
Authoress note: i do love all of suju, it's just that whatever strikes me at the moment is what i write. to all sungmin fans and to my fans. PLEASE TELL ME IF THIS SUCKS OR NOT!
12 reasons why no one realizes I'm the greatest, as told by Sungmin
Ah, love is the greatest thing. That's what w-inds. say. And I believe it. I believe love is the greatest thing. But I also believe that I, too, am the greatest thing. Why have love when you can have me? That's what I tell the guys. But everyone wants to be a comedian.
You? The greatest thing? Whatever. You can't beat coffee. And don't say you can because I'll then show you how hot coffee can be. There's nothing great about you. You're pink. What's up with that? And why try that I'm-too-cute-for-my-own-good act? We all know that you got Heechul beat in conceitedness. And another thing-
I always thought that he talked too much. And what's he got against pink? And coffee is sssooo nasty. Just like him. Well, let's see who else got something to say...
I sssooo can sing. And I can dance. So why did Ryeowook say I couldn't? What did I ever do to him? You know what, that's why he sucks! I mean he can’t even hold on to his men let alone tell me what I can or cannot do. Um, what did you say hyung?
Lost cause. And he wonders why we say the things we do. Bless his little heart. I hope the next person IQ is better than his...
If you're the greatest thing, then why did god decide to punish us like that? I hate pink. No, that's not right, I hate you. You turned everything I own pink. My shirts, my pants, even my underwear and my shoes. I don't effen like pink, you noodle!
Well, no one told you to get drunk and forget whose room you were in, dumbass. Effen idiot. You know what, I hate you too for being so stupid. Next...
If cherry were a person, would you date him/her? I would. Because then I would eat him/her. But wouldn't that be cannibalism? Oh no, I'ma cannibal! Teukie hyung, save me!
...Okay. That was random...next please?
Don't effen bother me right now. I'm in the middle of a sandwich. What kind of sandwich? Shindong, Chullie, and me. Of course Chullie is on the bottom. Oh, and you are not the greatest thing (trust me, I've tried. And I had better)
Bastard. We were young dammit. I could sssooo show you just how great the greatest thing can be (how else did I get so good at the "U" thrust?)...
Yup, you are the greatest thing...now can you move? I'm trying to see Teukie hyung's face. Whoa, I didn't know Heechul was that flexible...
TMI, TMI, TMFI!!! I did not what to hear that after I walked in on them (there's no one to help me with my situation, and I'm tired of the slut)
Any time, Sungmin-ah. Any time. I would so do you again, after I go to my other appointment (he might be stupid, but Shiwon at least know what to do^^)
I refuse to dignify that with an answer.
Sungmin-ah, have you seen my dildo? I left it on the kitchen table, but now it's gone. Hey, how about this? I'll say you're the greatest thing if you help me find it. And I don't really hate you, I just need your help dammit!
I'll plead the fifth with this one.
Oh, Donghae's dildo? Yea, I got it. Why? I wanted to give Kangin a taste of his own medicine (shove things up my ass? Yea right asshole. I won’t bottom for you any more. You’re my bitch now^^). Now, why do you think you're the greatest thing? Oh, i know why. You probably heard that w-inds. song and thought "yea, I could be greater than love," right? Well you're not. End of story^^
That no good, no cooking, no performing, half assed, stupid behind *etc, etc*
Huh? Oh yea. Teukie-ah is tighter than Kyuhyun, so you owe me ten bucks. And Heechul is flexible, so that's another ten. And Donghae does have a dildo, so that's another ten. Wow, thirty dollars in one day plus a threesome. I must be lucky^^
Yea, lucky I don't kiss your ass, you fat S.O.B.
Sungmin hyung, saranghamida!!! Please take my virginity. Please? I'll do anything for you. I love you sssooo much. And I can say that in many languages. Wo ai ni. Aishiteru. I love you. Saranghae. Ti amo. Please take me?
How about no. I got a life, and it doesn't involve you, got it?
Yah, Teukie-ah is as big as we thought, so that's twenty dollars, pinky. Pay up. And no, you are not the greatest thing. Teukie-ah is (because you can only thrust good. He got technique^^)
Well, girly boy, maybe when you can get someone’s something out your ass I'll tell you how wrong you are.
Well, honestly, I think Teukie-ah is the greatest. Let's compare him to you. You slept with 9 out of 13. He slept with everyone (Kyuhyun did too, but more that three times, the effen whore). You're pink. He's -oh god *drools*- not pink. You're an okay lover. Him, a sex god. So that's why you are not the greatest.
And a f you too, buddy.
Sungmin-ah, i found it, so I'll go back to hating you now. Okay? Bye!
You know what, that's it. I know I'm the greatest thing, dammit. Why can't anyone see that? Well, i can always go over the dong bang boy's house and "bake cookies" with Joongie-ah again^^
so, how was it? please tell me. if you do, i'll give you all kisses and huggles^^