Title: 12 reasons why suju is too big, as told by Ryeowook
Rating: light R
Genre: uh, disgruntled?
Pairing: read to find out
Summary: when Ryeowook vents
Author notes: for rainbowromance8. i'm a big fan of her work and i wanted to give her something for giving me the courage to keep writing^^ also, for all suju fans, especially for the Ryeowook fans^^
i know this has nothing to do with the fic, but i got a new doggie^^ it's this one: http://www.nextdaypets.com/directory/breeds/1100165/ ^^ hooray for me (early b-day gift for me from my mom, 7/16/07^^
12 reasons why suju is too big as told by Ryeowook
Why must our leader be a mother figure? I swear, we get away with so much crap it's not even funny. And Kangin hyung can't help cause teukie hyung always reasons with him ("they're just kids" he'll say). And he never gets mad enough, yea, he'll scream, then after that cry about why no one listens, thus making kangin hyung mad because we made umma cry. This is one reason why we're too big.
Princess my ass, more like a prima donna. I swear, god made him just to purposely annoy us all. the main reason why Eeteuk cry is this man (I would cry too if I found out that Heechul got everyone in a five mile radius drunk off of apple juice...). Why is he even in this group? He would of been better off solo than a big reason why we have too many in suju.
The most evil motherf*cker around. Yea, he'll play that I'm-chinese-thus-making-me-unable-to-get-blamed-for-sh*t card, but I see right through it. There was that one time he put that fiber powder in Yehsung hyung's coffee. Yehsung didn't emerge from the bathroom in days. Then there was that time he put yellow food coloring in Shiwon's shampoo and blamed it on eunhae. Ok, that one was pretty funny, but not right none the less and another reason why we didn't need a Chinese member in this big group.
I swear if coffee was a person, Yehsung would be banging him (that's right, he's gay) all day long. There is no reason why someone needs to drink coffee all day long. And there is no reason why we got a schedule on whose turn it is to make that damn stuff in the morning. When it's my turn, I just simply convince (or con, whatever floats your boat) one of the peanut gallery (eunhaemindongwon) to do it for me. Why doesn't he just marry the damn stuff and stop being another reason why SME is stupid for making a 13-member group.
The biggest p*ssy in the group. No, really, he is. I mean he brought a pink apron just to heat up soup when Eeteuk was sick. And he wants to be known as the appa. Yea right. Every time Eeteuk wants something, all he has to say is "Youngwoon-ah," and he's johnny on the spot. The worst part? Eeteuk is already seeing someone outside the group right in front of Kangin hyung's face. He even brought him over, and Kangin hyung cooked dinner, in the apron. But if I was dating Lee Junki, I would want to show him off, too. With sissies like Kangin hyung, that makes a damn good reason why there's too many of us in this one group.
"Pleasantly plump" my ass. He's just straight up fat. He eats when he wakes, when he sleeps, when he breathes, etc. Why is he in this group? So what if he can dance, so can anybody else if they try. And I’m sick of him eating my cherries. Every time I turn around he's eating them. If he touch them one more time, I'ma shove them so far up his ass, well, um, it's going to be far. And he won't like that. And maybe he'll even realize that he's another reason why we got too many people.
Pink? Do you know how pink is so not in? Maybe when he can get his head out of his bunny's ass he'll understand that pink went out last century. And that cute sh*t? Don't make me barf. He is so not cute, if anything, he just as annoying as heechul is, but with pink. Maybe after he stop sucking on Kangin's left tit (cause he's more of a b*tch than any mother could be), he'll see that he's one too many in this group.
I like hyukjae (the name). I think that Eunhyuk is such a lil b*tch for not keeping it the way it was, to hell with the other Lee Hyukjae. But I do like him to some extent. He can dance really well and he teaches me whenever I ask. he's a nice hyung, and that name thing beside, he's a really good person. But still, it's too many people in this band, and he shouldn't have been stuck with it.
Can't dance. Can't sing. Can only act. Why is he in a group? Oh, I know, they couldn't find anything worthwhile with him, so they stuck him in a group. He's so annoying, too. Every time Hankyung wants to cook, he argues with him with crap like "you should stir this more," "don't cook that too long," or, my favorite "why doesn't it look like the book?" Why can't you leave the hand that feeds us alone. Can't he see there are too many people hungry people in this group who would like to have dinner. Even though the number should be smaller.
Space case. And not because he believes in aliens. But only because Yehsung bangs him so hard in the morning that he can't remember what his name is most of the time. But he's cool. If it wasn't for eunhae and Hankyung, I would be bored. They play the best pranks (when Donghae isn't too relaxed), so I have to say that I like donghae hyung more than the lot of them, but he's still one in too many in this group.
Emo central. All those smiles are fake. When he's home, he's as emo as they get. That's why he's a good actor. But still, can he, like, not be so anti social at home. It sucks when your stuck with him cause you picked the shortest straw and someone has to make sure he doesn't do some emo sh*t like cut himself or something stupid like that. all you can hear is yours and his breathing, and it’s scary. Even when the TV’s blasting it feels like it's deathly quiet. Emo is one reason why we need to vote some people off the is-land.
The last to join, but not the last to get his. He is such a effen slut. Every time you turn around he got someone new in his bed. "Never f*ck the same person twice in a row" he says. And he likes to play that I’m quiet sh*t. he's no more quiet than a porn movie. Why is he here? To f*ck every one of us, then when he do he’ll tell the media he's quitting the group. There are too many people in this group to be sleeping with, so I hope he got a wholesale box of condoms.
This is why there are too many people in suju. What SME should have done was made this group a one-person group named super junior, with me as the only member. I mean, it could work, there's only one person in all rise band^^
and tis the end. good? bad? tell me please^^ aishiteru, minna-san^^