Rating: PG-13 (slight cursing)
Pairings: Kihae, slight kyumin and plenty of other implied pairings as well.
Featuring: DBSK, SNSD and Shinee
Summary: Kibum considers leaving the band and wishes if things could have
been different. Looks like he’s got his wish. But you don’t always get what
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three
parts dead. - Bertrand Russell
"Kibummie! So what'd you –" the usually boisterous older man trails off,
befuddled at sight of an emptied bed room. The younger man before him seemed
oblivious, continuing to pack the last of his clothes in a luggage bag. With
a deafening click, the bag’s shut.
"Hae hyung! I...I didn't expect to see you here so soon," Kibum smiles
sheepishly, unable to meet the other man's eyes.
It feels as though Time has slowed down to a standstill – a bubble has been
built around them: he can’t hear anything but the other man’s ragged
breathing, his own heart beating wildly. The script he’s written for (and
rewritten and rewritten so many countless times it's stuck in his head -
he'd have no trouble writing it back again) lie in pieces in the table
drawer. He opens his mouth first, as planned although he wishes they could
have done this later, wishes they could have had a memorable last day out
together as close friends first instead of this...confrontation now.
"Hyung, I'm leaving." he announces out loud, his back towards Donghae. His
voice doesn't come out as confident-sounding as he'd like - there had been a
quivering note of self-doubt in his voice. He doesn’t know why he's overcome
by this feeling of uneasiness, as though this was so wrong. It wasn’t
supposed to be this way. He was supposed – a warm weight (Donghae's
hand, his mind barely registers) presses down on his shoulder blades. He
turns around but remains staring at the floor. He knows the other man has
tears in his eyes. Possibly wiping them away furiously, judging by his
movements. Fuck. He just made his hyung cry. He feels minute even.
"I...I can see that," he sniffles.
"But can't you - I mean, it's OUR comeback! We've prepared for months,
Kibum...months - can't you wait just a few more hours? Can't you? I
mean, even Heechul's going to be there before he rushes off for his
appointment with the physiotherapist. Sure, he still can't dance much but
he'll still be there! I know you haven't learnt all the steps for the dance
what with your busy filming schedules and all but that doesn't
matter. I'm sure Donghee or Hyukjae could think of something or even
- you...you get what I mean right, Kibummie? Can't you please
Kibum gulps. Should he...A part of him knows Donghae's speaking the truth.
But sometimes...you don't always get what you want, he wants to tell
Donghae. He keep his mouth shut when he realises the the other man is
trembling, even as he remains still. It's always been this way, Kibum thinks
as he pulls other man into a huge, feeling the other's erratic breathing
calm down as he rubbed circles on the other's back.
"Donghae, Donghae hyung. Breathe. Calm down. You'll...you'll do fine.
But..." he pulls away, steadying himself, "I need to do this. I'm leaving
the band. Mianhae."
He gets pushed off and watches as Donghae starts digging into his pockets.
"So which airline are you taking? United? Asiana Air? Korean Air? Should be
the latter. You always take that anyways. I'll just make a quick call and
explain you got the date wrong, surely you did right?" the older man grins,
a crazed sheen in his eyes as his fingers fly across the keypad.
Kibum sighs and snatches the cell phone away, cancelling the call. He gets
The struggle for the phone quickly spirals turns into a wrestling match.
Locked in a hold, both men fought for dominance. Neither knows where the
phone vanishes to. (It slides under the bed, unnoticed). it ends with Kibum
on top of Donghae, breathing heavily. The other man laid before him, his
hair plastered across his sweaty forehead, his face flushed. Kibum feels a
tinge of shame when he realises he's half hard. This is normal, he
mentally berates himself as he tries to catch his own breath. Shit, I
hope he doesn't notice. He barely hears Donghae swearing and groaning
"Kibum. Get off me. I said, geroff!" Donghae hisses menacingly, his eyes
ablazed with an intensity Kibum has never seen. The older man violently
shoves him aside, struggling a little to stand up - Kibum feels his heart
skip a beat. He wonders if it's just the adrenaline pumping but figures he
has to do settle the issue at hand first. The other man went down on his
knees and starting looking for the misplaced cell phone. Kibum sighs and
pulls a squirming Donghae off the floor and grips him tightly.
"Donghae, Donghae. Stop it. Please...please just try to understand. I
need...I need to do this. I mean - it's not like we're supposed to last
The words slip out of his mouth before he realises how caustic they sound.
"Don't you fucking dare do this, you bastard! Ju-Jun-Jungsu hyung, he'll
stop you! Youngwoon and Heechul and..."
Realization dawns on Donghae and his face darkens visibly.
"They don't know about this, do they? No one does..."
In his rage, he lands a punch on Kibum's face. The younger man remains
silent, knowing he deserves it but he couldn't help but glare at the other
man - he could taste the familiar acrid tang of blood in his mouth.
"Why aren't you fighting back! Damn it, Kibum...shit. Shit, I'm sorry,
"I'm fine Hae. Just peachy," Kibum mutters tersely.
"I guess I sort of deserved that, huh? Next time though, punch me on the
other side as well, why don't you."
He couldn't help but feel vindictive and instantly regrets his words when he
notices the other man's shoulders slumping off.
"Kibum...I'm really sorry, all right. But you can't...you can't do this now.
Please, Kibum. Please tell me you don't intend to do this - you're not gonna
abandon us now, right? Kibum?"
The younger man remained silent, nursing his wound. He looked up at the
"Just...just leave Donghae,"
"I-I-I'll leave. But do know that I will hate you, Kim Kibum." he
hisses, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall down further. The
other man storms out of the room with an unreadable look on his face, as
though he had been broken.
The sound of the door being slammed shut reverberates throughout the
officetel and the silence that settles in its wake is suffocating.
Then there is an excruciating ache in his heart.
And an epiphany strikes.
I...I love him, don't I?.
Their final exchange continues ringing in his head, even though it had been
two? three? five? hours ago. I will hate you Kim Kibum.I will hate
you Kim Kibum.I will hate you Kim Kibum.I will hate you Kim Kibum.I will
hate you Kim Kibum. Hearing his name being mentioned with such venom, it
made him feel...guilty? sad? angry?. His mind starts racking for a
He definitely was numb but it was the first time he had felt such numbness
in his life - it was different from the time when they had told him he was
debuting in a project group; it was different from receiving the phone call
about Donghae and Heechul hyung's accident; it was different from seeing the
magnae lying on the hospital bed, hooked up to various machines, fighting
for his life. This numbness was just...different - as though his emotions
had undergone a complete meltdown.
Donghae...Lee Donghae, his...what was the other man to him? His closest
friend? Something more? No...he couldn't. He just couldn't have fallen for
his hyung. It was...foolish and stupid and and and...
Overwhelmed by the cogwheels turning in his head, Kibum lets loose a
groaned. His head throbs but he ignores it, knowing it'd subside in a while.
Staring up at the ceiling, he smiles absently when his gaze turns upon the
glow-in-the-dark stars that Donghae had stuck on the ceiling (And he feels a
warm fuzzy feeling in the pits of his stomach as he remembers spending that
particular afternoon supervising the other man - Donghae had insisted that
he do this alone and they had laid down afterwards on the bed, playing guess
His thoughts soon turns to his hyung. Donghae...Donghae wasn't as strong as
he appeared to be. Like Pinocchio, the man often lied about what he felt,
smiling on the outside when he was hurting on the inside. He was a private
man who preferred to close up to the world than share his troubles with
anyone and it had taken a long time before he opened up to him. Kibum smiled
forlornly as he remembered that he was the first person Donghae looked to
whenever he had troubles. Would he be alright out there alone in the
streets? Then again, Donghae was no child, even if he acted like one at
times. He had other people he could depend on. There is a pang of guilt and
a smidgen of jealousy when he comes to that conclusion.
Looking out the window, he notes that the clouds were darker than usual. It
was about to rain. Kibum briefly entertains thoughts of looking him up,
knowing Donghae would be at the swing set, but he knew the other man needed
his space. Furthermore, he'd had known better than to stay out in the rain
right? Not to mention his flight. Glancing at his wristwatch, he notes that
he needs to be at the airport in three hours time.
Was this necessary, he thinks. Could he bear to do this...to leave it all
behind? He had been through thick and thin with them - the twelve other men
he had come to regard as his family. The ones he could trust with his life.
Lost in the haze of memories past, he fell asleep wishing things could have
Kibum wakes up, groggy with sleep. The sky, he can tell, is still dark.
What time is it? What time was his flight leaving again? Glancing at
the bedside clock, he notes that his flight had just left. Great, just
great. Kibum, you fool couldn't you have set an alarm before you dozed
off, he mentally berated himself as he got off the bed. Yet he couldn't
help but feel uneasy - as though something still seemed different - as
though his skin was a tad too soft, his height too short, his body wider
than he was used to. But try as he might, he couldn't figure out why.
Sighing, he steps out of the bedroom and his senses are instantly assaulted
awake by the heavenly scent of fried rice that wafts through the air, making
his stomach grumble. Had Hankyung somehow dropped by with his fried rice and
was heating it up? He smiles at the memory of the dish, already able to
taste the flavours he had grown to yearn...mmm. Kibum immediately
realises there coudn't have been a way for his hyung to have access into his
apartment. Something strange is definitely going on and his determination to
get to the bottom of this grew exponentially with each passing second.
He suddenly feels his butt being groped before a wet kiss is planted on his
"YAH! Kim Kibum! Hurry up or else Changmin will eat our share! Come on!"
His posture immediately goes rigid in shock, his heart beating furiously.
"Kibum...Kibum, you alright there?"
He spins around, disbelieving what his ears. What...what the hell is this
grease ball of a pseudo-American doing in his apartment?!
Micky Park Yoochun looks at Kibum, grinning from ear to ear.
"Missed me already, duck butt? I miss you too but if we don't hurry..."
Kibum's eyes widens.
He did what any normal person would have done in his situation.
After being admonished for scaring the daylights out of everyone, Kibum had
been forced to wash up and then made to settle into a seat at the dining
table where a huge plate of fried rice awaited him.
"So...let's get this straight..." Yunho asks, pausing momentarily from his
"Last night, you, Kim Kibum was a part of Super Junior, is that correct?"
Kibum nods - he noting how the other three were busy wolfing down their own
portions of the spicy fried rice. His own had been left untouched a long
time ago after his initial spoonful had left him scrambling for water, much
to the amusement of a smirking Changmin.
"Yah Yoochun! How hard did you say Kibum hit his head on the headboard
yesterday?" admonishes Jaejoong jokingly.
"Hyung!!! I'm eating here!" Changmin groans.
"Oh shut up. I know you just wanna film us!"
Kibum immediately blanches.
Yunho smiles, watching Changmin and Yoochun continue their bickering before
turning his attention back to Kibum.
"Kibum. Let's not kid around alright?"
"B-bu-but I'm serious! What the heck am I doing with you guys here in
Japan any ways? I can't even speak the damn language!"
"Kibum. Let me refresh your memory - you're Kim Kibum. Your
stage name is Xiah. You're in a band called Dong Bang Shin
There was an air of finality after Yunho spoke but Kibum knew he had to
right this wrong.
"No! I mean, yes, I'm Kim Kibum. BUT I'm from Super Junior! What is
wrong with you people? I'm not JUNSU HYUNG!" he yells in frustration.
No one at the table dated to move. There was an underlying tension that had
settled at the dining room table until Changmin started sputtering and
"HYUNG! JUNSU HYUNG? Yah! Why can't you call me hyung instead?
Try it - Changmin hyung. Say it with me - Changmin hyung! It
has a nice ring to it, don't you think? If you want, you can also call me
Oppa although I think Yoochun might throw a fit but hey, I'm far superior
anyways." the tall magnae of the group winked.
Jaejoong smacked the tall youngster on the back of the head before turning
his attention immediately to Kibum.
"Kibum, are you sure you're okay?"
Before he knew it, a hand had quickly plastered itself on his forehead and a
thermometer had been jabbed into his mouth. The only thing missing was
having Ryeowook hovering around and Eeteuk cooing while screaming at the
rest of the members to tone it down. Yoochun looked at him, with concern on
his face. Kibum quickly snatched his hand away when Yoochun took it - he
didn't see Yoochun's crestfallen look. Yunho and Changmin however were
exchanging knowing looks, having caught what had transpired.
"Maybe he's homesick?" Yoochun says.
A barely audible beep was heard and Jaejoong was soon announcing, "36.7
There is a collective sigh of relief.
"Kibum, do you want to call Hyukjae? I know I said Manager shii said you
needed to limit the number of calls you made but I'll tell him to make an
exception just this once alright?" Yunho says as he dumps his empty plate
into the dishwasher. Yoochun had stopped eating and was merely pushing his
food around on his plate. Apologizing, Kibum stands up and leaves the table,
practically sprinting to the bedroom, dialling the number he's memorized.
Why hadn't he thought of that earlier?! Just one simple phonecall to Hyukjae
and then everything would be made crystal-clear!
"Hyukjae hyung! I need your help!"
"</i>Hyung?</i> Wahaha...nice one Kibummie. So what's wrong? Did something
"Last night I slept in my bed and today I'm in Japan! In Kim Junsu's place!"
"No, you don't say!"
"I AM TELLING THE TRUTH!"
He could hear Eunhyuk sniggering in the background. Kibum frowns, wondering
how he to prove to Eunhyuk - who wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the
"I'll...I'll prove it to you!"
He could hear Eunhyuk's grinning from the phone, if that was even remotely
"You've got smelly feet!"
"Kibum, would you just stop it with that stupid rumour! My feet don't stink!
Just so you know, I've been soaking it in rosewater every day!"
"As if. You've been using that for your Super Soaker."
There is a momentary pause.
"How'd you...why am I asking such a stupid question? Of course you'll know!
We're best friends! But god, please don't tell Jungsu, please, please,
Shit. Kibum wonders if his intelligence went out of the window the monent he
woke up - the Hyuksu were infamous bffs since forever! Of course,
they'd know just about everything. Kibum cursed, his head struggling to come
up with a decent rebuttal.
"Well, KangIn hyung's gonna yell my ears off for chalking up the phone bills
again so I'll hang up now. Bye Kibummie! And please, please don't tell
Jungsu about the Super Soaker!"
"WAIT! Hyukjae hy-! What day is it today?"
"14th March. Why?"
"Then...then Kibum - he wasn't there at the comeback, was he?"
Kibum shakes his head, shuddering. Talking about himself in the 3rd person
weirded him out too much.
"Kibum, of course you weren't at the comeback! You're in Japan! And where's
my congratulations anyways? Huh, huh?"
Kibum wanted to smack himself. Hard.
"I meant Junsu. He left for the States yesterday. That's why he
"Kibum...how'd you know that?"
"Because Junsu and I switched places yesterday night...I mean morning!"
"You're kidding right? You have to agree, Junsu's barely with Super Junior
anymore. He's always carvoting off somewhere for filming or his mother's
sick again. Sigh...I hope his mother gets well soon. Poor kid. Then again,
it wouldn't surprise me if he announces that he'll quit soon. Then again,
half of us are already betting on it. We'll miss him but not as much as
you know who...Oh well - one day at a time right? I'll call you again
later tonight after my performance 'kay. Pick up my call this time! Bye!
Wait...wait...Kibum, Kibum you're still there right? Good! Now, if you
spread that stupid smelly feet rumour again, I'll tell the world
about...I'll think of something. But be warned! I have plenty of blackmail
The connection gets promptly cancelled and he feels as though a part of him
had been killed. Guilt continues gnawing away at his soul, crushing his
spirit. It is hard to gulp down that hard lump that had somehow grown in his
throat. His knees are barely able to support him.
Blinking away his tears, he wonders how long this...change is going
to last. He's startled out of his reverie when he hears a couple of loud
slams and the last of a heated argument, coming from the direction of the
kitchen. Loud stomping thunders through the whole apartment before stomping.
At his door. Kibum gulps, fear clenching his heart - somehow, he knew he was
in some sort of trouble. Taking a deep breathe, he apprehensively approaches
"Kibum hyung. Open up. I need to talk to you. Open up now."
Turning the door knob, the door suddenly swings open (knocking him out in
the process) and the last thing he hears is "Oh shit." before he blacks out.
The smells of the room tickles his nose. Cloyingly sweet with strong and
heady notes of some floral scents, it irritates his nose to no end. He tries
to ignore the sensation but to no avail. He lets loose a loud sneeze - his
body shooting itself into an upright sitting position. He curses the person
who spilled that bottle of perfume (or possibly ten, considering how the
sickening saturation level), rubbing the sides of his head in a circular
manner, trying to ease the mother of all headaches.
He ambles into the adjoining bathroom, sneezing. Slipping off his singlet
(he doesn't recall it being ever so tight) and his pants, he steps into the
shower, allowing the warm water to cascade down his back, slowly awakening
his senses. His headache he realises gradually dissipates. He barely hears
the knock on the door nor the intruder's approach.
"Sorry Gwiboon, left my..."
There is a loud shrill sound that goes on and on and on, like a fire alarm.
Kibum hurriedly covers himself, hoping someone would turn off the intruder
alarm or whatever alarm this annoyance was. He only realises it's coming
from him when the female intruder lets loose a guffaw while pointing at him.
The girl approaches him, red-faced with laughter.
"What about the puppies?"
Tiffany lets loose an exasperated sigh and proceeds to squeeze his breasts.
"I'm a FUCKING GIRL?!"
"Dear god, of course you are! That's why we're So Nyeo Shi Dae,
Girls> Generation...not Boys Generation you know."
"Shit. GIRLS! EMERGENCY!!! Come on, bitch. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up! Shit,
Taeyeon is so gonna kill me."
A flurry of hard slaps hits his face - the stinging pain brings him back
from the fading darkness.
"Ouch! Ouch! Stop!"
Taeyeon bursts into the small bathroom, concern evident on her face. "What's
"Oh nothing, just Gwiboon..."
"Gwiboon? It's Kibum." He flushes, embarassed.
Tiffany and Taeyeon blinks and stares hard at him before the latter turns
her glare at Tiffany.
"I didn't do anything!" Fany yelps, scuttling away.
Very much later, Kibum had ran into the bedroom with only a towel to cover
the necessary parts (he's thakful it was long enough) and had come out of
the bedroom, dressed in a very baggy shirt and pants that didn't make him
feel constricted. (which rules out about 3/4 of the pants in the
closet). The skirts...oh god. There is no way in hell that he would ever be
seen in a skirt. Period. (Let alone minis and micro minis)
Seven other girls had various looks of disbelief when he had walked out.
Silence had reigned until Jessica appears from the kitchen. She takes one
look at Kibum and promptly chokes on her toast.
"What the HECK are you wearing!"
"It's so pretty? No...that's not it. Unconventional? Nope. It's so..."
"So YOU took my shirt!"
"Are those...male pants?"
"YAH! Haven't you heard of asking or checking the clothing labels?" two of
them had chorused (which two, Kibum couldn't ascertain).
Kibum stood rooted to the ground. How was he supposed to respond? Which one
first? Oh god. He feels his headache coming back.
Feeling particularly vulnerable in front of the girls despite being clothed,
like a piece of meat at the market, he prays hard that this change was
temporary. It had to. It just HAD to!
Just then, the doorbell rings.
"I'll get it!" Sooyoong stands up, practically bouncing to the door.
"We had extra cakes and stuff from the comeback celebration so I thought of
bringing some over." a vaguely familiar and very male voice. Kibum almost
cries when he sees Sungmin smiling at him. There is a chorus of delighted
'Oppa' and 'Pimp Min' as the girls wave at the other's arrival. Sunny beams
and clings to Sungmin's side like Sooyoong, dragging him off to the kitchen.
"Sungmin hyung!" he yells out. All eight girls instantly turned to look at
him, sending him a silent warning. Kibum lets loose a barely audible 'meep'.
"Okay. What'd you call me Gwiboon...hyung?" asks Sungmin, curious,
when he returns from the kitchen.
He gulps, feeling the stares being directed at him. If stares could kill, he
would have died several times over already.
"Yah, Sooyoong, what role did you say Gwiboon's playing again?" the pink
polo dressed man enquires.
"A fashion designer who falls in love with Kwon Sang Woo."
"Even if he's married, he's still so..." Sunny swoons.
"Hot!" the three chorused.
Dear god, he was doomed. Sungmin was one of them.
"Gwiboon-ah, are you trying to get into character? But you know that shirt
just doesn't look good on a girl like you!"
"Sungmin oppa, you agree with me too right? Kyuhyun oppa gave it to me and
"I'm getting to that! See, the look's all wrong! You've got to -"
"HYUNG! I'm Kibum. Please, you have to believe me! Last night, I was a boy
and then I got accosted by Yoochun and -"
"Wait. Yoochun, as in Dong Bang Shin Ki's Yoochun? When was this again?
Yesterday night in...where was it again? Your dreams?" Jessica remarks
cooly, earning her a light slap on the arm from Taeyeon. He wasn't sure why
but Jessica's words stung.
"Yah, Tiffany, how hard did you slap the poor lass?" Hyoyeon guffaws.
"Not that hard. And she was acting weird even before I saw her! She did
this!" Tiffany scrambles off the massage chair and did her best impression.
"She danced to So Hot?"
"No, no...she covered her privates like a boy does!"
"HYUNG! NOONA! I'm being serious! Why won't you believe me?" Kibum cries,
fighting back the tears that threatened to fall.
"Alright, alright," Taeyeon yells, as she tries to make herself heard over
the girls, with some of them lost in their impromtu session of singing and
dancing to So Hot (with Sungmin leading the dance, Kibum notes,
"Why can't anyone understand? Yesterday, I was Kibum and I...I fought with
Donghae because I told him I was leaving the band and then I dozed off and
woke up as Junsu and then I got hit on the head and now I'm in Yoona's body.
And you're all making fun of me because NO ONE BELIEVES ME!" Kibum bawls,
desperately wiping away her tears that continued to flow, wondering why he
was so damn emotional all of a sudden.
"Shit, did we go too far?"
"Yah, Gwiboon-ah, stop crying alright? We...we believe you alright? Hush
now..." the girls start cooing. Seohyun pulls him into a hug first, seeing
how she sat next to him, before all the other girls came together in a group
hug, patting his back reassuringly, apologizing.
Sungmin had quietly brought out some tea and cakes with the help of some of
the other members of the group. Soon, they were in a rough circle of sorts,
sipping tea or nibbling on the cakes and tarts as they listened intently to
"So this...Yoona person, she's in your body now?"
"Who? I think she...he means Yun Hyun?"
There were a few nodding heads as Kibum answered questions that were thrown
"I guess that explains why Donghae returned home yesterday night in a foul
mood. Can you believe that idiot? First he leaves his phone in Yunnie's
officetel and then stays out at the swingset in the rain until Shiwonnie
found him at five in the morning!"
"Aish, that Bada. I'll give him a call later! He's okay though, right?"
"I should think so, considering the lecture he got from Teukie and Heechul.
Love. It makes people do stupid things."
"Like you won't do the same if Kyuhyun leaves you for Sooyoung!"
"You wouldn't dare!"
"All's fair in love and war!"
Kibum sat there, in shock. What...what...was Sungmin talking about? Shaking
his heads, he hopes he has misheard Sungmin's words. But a part of him
refused to let the notion go that his crush wasn't all that one-sided after
all. He smiles forlornly.
The girls continue teasing Sungmin who somehow knew how to circumvent the
conversation back to some topic or other. He sat in quiet contemplation, not
wanting to throw attention to the fact that he was eating away most of the
Taeyeon who had been quiet all the while, he notices, was whispering all of
a sudden to Tiffany immediately nods. Soon all the girls were whispering
hurriedly amongst themselves and nodding, including Sungmin. What the
heck had he missed? Kibum felt an foreboding sense of dread as he
watches Jessica disappear into her bedroom only to come out with a lollipop
that she started to brandish like a baton. Kibum looks inquisitively at the
smiling girls - Sungmin however, winces. Shit. He HAD eaten too much tarts,
"Gwi - I mean, Kibum, you said you got into this body because you banged
your head against the door at the Toho household right?"
"Well, this is just a theory but we want to test it out." Jessica grins as
she approaches him.
Kibum frowns when he realises what was about to happen.
"A lollipop? You're gonna hit me with a lollipop?" he asks.
"A cement one, yes. Now this will only hurt a bit!"
"It's been nice knowing you!" smiles Sungmin a little too cheerfully.
Kibum shuts his eyes and briefly wonders if there was some truth to the age
old adage that women were from Venus.
His mind doesn't even registers the pain.
Kibum groans as the handphone alarm rang. It sounds distinctly familiar...
Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance...
He shoots up when he realises why. Mouthing the words to the song, he feels
a mixture of pride and sadness.
"Urgh...Ki...shut it up. I don't have to wake up for another hour or so."
someone groans sleepily next to him.
He relaxes slightly when he registers the voice as belonging to a male. No
more giggly girls, thank goodness. No more breasts and...since
when did he share his bedroom in the officetel?
He's in some stranger's bed.
Deciding the next course of action was to knock himself out, Kibum mutters a
quick prayer, eyes shut close - dear god, let this be the last one,
please, please, please - and slams his head on the nearest wall.
There is a loud thud.
When the young man comes to, he sees three vaguely familiar boys looking at
him with varying levels of concern and amusement.
He is still stuck in some...pubescent kid's body. Permanently.
He wants to cry. Puberty all over again? What had he done to warrant
being in hell?!
"Well, he's fine now so I'll be getting back to bed." yawns Jonghyun.
"And don't wake me up until it's time for normal human beings to function.
Oh and Key, please, no more instant noodles for lunch."
"I'm going to...uh..." Taemin trails off as he attempted to sneaked away.
"No chocopies Taemin ah!"
"But hyung! Heechul sunbae says that it's a wholesome breakfast food!
AND it's Saturday...don't I get to treat myself?"
"Kibum. Kibum. Say something love! You're supposed to be the umma of the gro
- fff!" Jinki hissed before the boy started hoping around, alternating
between each foot. The boy clutches his mouth, tears in his eyes before he
stumbles onto the floor.
Kibum sat dumbfounded. Jinki stood up, does the victory sign and the okay
sign with his fingers and literally stumbles out. Again.
Yup, Kibum thinks to himself, JongOon hyung has finaly met his
"Erm...yeah. Li-listen to...!" he pauses. What was the Shinee's leader's
name again...Kiki...something.Oh for pete's sake.
"Listen to your hyung!" He winces internally when he heard his voice hitch a
notch higher while yelling. This was why he hated puberty.
The bump on his head still hurts, aggravating the headache he's having.
Ambling towards the kitchen, he grabs an ice-pack from the refrigerator.
"He's in the bathroom, Umma!" Taemin voices out as he channel surfs. And
eating chocopie, judging by the telltale chocolate around his mouth. Kibum
groans, wondering why the juniors seemed younger and younger - the boy
bouncing on the couch had definitely just graduated elementary school, or
kindergarten at the very least.
Was this what being an Umma was about? Being some kind of second-in-command?
Or worst, a leader? He knew he would never make a good leader, would never
will. He just wasn't those kind of people. Kibum ponders if he would ever be
able to handle this new situation - Umma of the group.
Just saying it sent shivers down his spine. Oh god, did that mean he was in
charge of cooking? And cleaning? And ensuring...oh god, oh god, oh god. His
headache had grown to barely tolerable level. How the heck did Jungsu hyung
even managed to handle the band? Was there a clause for babysitting in his
contract? Shit. He needed to find out because there was no way in freaking
hell that he was going to be some kind of glorified, underpaid babysitter
for a bunch of hormonal, rebellious kids just out of kindergarten!
He let loose a scream of frustration and there is a pat on his back.
"Hyung, I'm leaving,"
Kibum turns, his heart palpitating. The stoic Minho stood before him with a
sports bag slung over his shoulders. A strange sense of déjà vu fills him -
only now, he's on the other side. Kibum finds he couldn't breathe.
"Hyung, I'm leaving..."
"Can't you please reconsider?"
"But please, please tell me you don't intend to do this - you're not gonna
abandon us now right?"
"Just...just leave Donghae."
"I-I hate you Kim Kibum."
"Hey Minho! Tell the Super Junior hyungs I said h -!"
Kibum collapses down, face first.
Kibum shoots up from his bed, sweating bullets. Fuck, what had he done?
Taking a quick glance at his wrist watch.
It is the 13th of March. 2.20 a.m.
He grabs his phone and dials.
"Hi. Yes. This is Kim Kibum. I...I'd like to change my flight."
Upon settling his flight details, not caring that he needed to pay an extra
service fee, he dials Donghae's number and goes down on his knees, rummaging
to find the phone.
It takes him less than two minutes to find the glowing and vibrating phone.
Grabbing two sets of jackets, he runs out of the officetel in a flurry.
There's still time to make amends.
And possibly confess to Donghae.
(But a part of him knows it's only a matter of time before history repeats
itself. Only the next time, it'd be worse. But the now was more important.)
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three
parts dead. - Bertrand Russell