hyukjae kisses him so reverently that tablo almost feels guilty. the room is dark with the sound of the fan buzzing in their ears--or maybe that's the alcohol? or both, but either way it isn't silent, not with tablo's sighs and hyukjae's little sounds of admiration as his lips move carefully carefully against his skin.
there are still others outside the room, the low bass of the music pounding through the floor and their bodies as they shift softly on the bed. it's almost soothing, tablo thinks, laying there with his head turned back and his eyes fluttering closed and hyukjae's mouth moving down his chest. somewhere along the way they'd lost their shirts and hyukjae's back and shoulders are white, too white, and his hair's a mess and when he looks up from tablo's waistline his eyes are softer than they should be.
he kisses tablo's stomach, a fumbling little press of the lips, over and over and over again and it's like he's worshiping tablo's body, and the thought of it disgusts tablo. hyukjae, with the wide adoring eyes and the hesitant hands and the voice that once asked, so innocently, hyung-nim, why would you choose me?
the first time tablo decided to fuck caution and just kiss hyukjae, he'd been drunk as hell. he'd dragged hyukjae away from the group with slurred words and stumbling steps, but hyukjae had followed him anyway, gums flashing in a trusting smile. tablo had pressed him roughly against the wall, and the kiss had been sloppy, a little too wet, though when they pulled apart hyukjae had stared at him in pure awe, the blind smile replaced with a look of dazed wonder.
hyukjae idolizes him and tablo knows it. tablo can even understand why, hypothetically, but what he can't quite do is accept it. and as hyukjae's mouth envelopes him there on the bed, suddenly it's all too much for tablo. anger boils the alcohol in his bloodstream and he sits up sharply, hyukjae releasing him in surprise and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, confusion plain on his face. "hyung--“ he starts to say, but tablo lunges for him and cuts off the word, shoving him backwards onto the bed and straddling him with narrowing eyes.
"shut up and close your eyes." the order is given gruffly, and hyukjae does as he's told without question, only angering tablo more. one hand grips at hyukjae's hair tight, the other stroking down his chest, nails scratching just hard enough to mark. a whimper bubbles in hyukjae's throat, and tablo leans down to bite at the pale pale skin and chase it away.
now it's tablo who drags his mouth down hyukjae's chest, nipping at him rudely while hyukjae moans and squirms under his touches. tablo's mouth is just- there, and hyukjae's moan raises a pitch and his hips strain up just slightly. tablo guides them down with a light press of his fingers, hyukjae obeying the silent command immediately. then he moves his hand and where he's usually been gentle and slow and loving with hyukjae, he suddenly feels the urge to push and take and maybe even hurt; maybe just a little.
hyukjae hisses when tablo's fingers push inside, his jaw clamps shut and the air sucks sharply through his big teeth. tablo ignores this, pushing harder with two fingers now and concentrating on the pattern of bite marks he's leaving on the inside of hyukjae's thigh. he's never been this rough with him before, and he expects hyukjae to pull away, ask him to stop, but part of him knows that hyukjae won't. hyukjae wouldn't dare. tablo can do no wrong.
and when tablo pulls his hand away and tugs insistently on hyukjae's side, hyukjae flips onto his hands and knees with only the smallest groan of impatience. tablo strokes himself once, twice, then with that same hot sticky hand he's pulling hyukjae's hips back, flush against his own in one quick movement.
hyukjae gasps and tablo hears the pain in the sound, but it's tight and burning and tablo just doesn't care. he could wait--should wait--but he's drunk. and the urge to push hyukjae's limits--the need to see how far he can go, how much he can get away with--makes his hips jerk forward, makes his hands grasp possessively at the body in front of him. hyukjae falls forward, face pressed into the mattress and fingers trembling against the sheets. tablo rocks back and forth in a harsh rhythm, fingernails scratching along hyukjae's spine leaving a red trail in their wake.
he thinks he can hear moans--some in pleasure, most in pain--and a small voice saying stop, please, slower, hyung-- how can tablo stop now? slow isn't an option anymore as his thrusts become more wild, less rhythmic; poundingpoundingpounding until the sound of his blood roaring drowns out hyukjae's cries. with a last burst of movement, tablo comes, body stiffening before dissolving into helpless shudders. he relaxes his grip and hyukjae moans like a child who's lost; he pulls away and hyukjae slumps to the side, body shaking.
tablo lays beside him with a sigh, noticing that hyukjae's still hard. never--never has tablo let himself go before making sure that hyukjae was taken care of. he should feel guilty, he muses, but he doesn't. hyukjae's eyes are still closed so there's no need to fake an apologetic smile as he reaches out with a limp hand and runs two fingers along him slowly, circling the tip gently and that's all it takes for hyukjae to come. a choked sound erupts from his throat, his body folding in on itself. tablo wipes his hand on the sheets and rolls onto his back with a sigh of genuine content.
he can feel how hyukjae still quivers, hesitantly moving closer to press against his side. tablo glances at his face and suddenly notices the quickly drying tear stains around hyukjae's eyes, the way he sucks in his cheeks like he does when he's nervous. hyukjae sees him looking and immediately pulls a brave smile, clutching to tablo's arm like an anchor. “it didn't hurt that bad, hyung.” and his eyes are so hopeful that all tablo can do is laugh, brushing the hair out of hyukjae's face--not in apology--in something more like acknowledgement.
hyukjae's expression is confused and just a little bit scared, but his eyes still shine when he looks at tablo, so tablo pulls him close and tries hard not to love him.