Title: Just Be Yourself (cheesy, I know...)
Rating: NC-17? R? Is there a difference? It contains a blowjob... enter at your own risk.
Inspiration: Written for catchmyambition, because she won at sheep guessing and asked for a Siwon/Henry + smut ^^;;
Genre: it's smut... is that a genre? Also with some angst at the beginning I think, only I'm not too sure, 'cause I've never written angst before...
Comments: um... my first smut? And I'm disturbingly innocent for 18, so it's likely poorly written and highly unrealistic, but it's the best I've got. Be kind? Also, I'm not sure how to go about making sure kiddies can't read it. Anyone want to explain so I don't get banned or something equally horrible for corrupting all the children? ^^;;
Summary: Henry's feeling down because of the Only 13 protests, but he knows something that will cheer him up ;)
They stepped out into the stage, expecting to be greeted with the usual wall of screaming. They were not disappointed, but the screams sounded different than usual, like they weren’t saying “Super Junior” but something else. It took them all a moment before they realised that the chant being picked up and spread throughout the concert hall was “Only thirteen”.
Thirteen pairs of eyes snapped towards Henry, standing at the end of the line, still trying to figure out what was being yelled. His eyes widened as it dawned on him that they were rallying against him. He had never been hated by so many people at once before. He stood frozen, staring at each of the others in turn, Eeteuk, Kangin, Heechul, Sungmin, Shindong, Kyuhyun, Hankyung, Kibum, Ryeowook, Yesung, Donghae, Eunhyuk, Siwon. Siwon. His eyes stayed on Siwon, the look in the older man’s eyes somehow calming, even as he was being cursed by a stadium full of angry young women.
He could do this. He would get through this concert, and then... well he would figure something out afterwards. Maybe he would leave, go back to Canada. Maybe he would just ask to be kept away from super junior, and subsequently the elves. Maybe he would disguise himself as one of the current members for performances, fill in for anyone who was out sick. He briefly imagined himself trying to look like tall, lean Hankyung, and decided against that last option.
The music started, and there was no more time for thinking. He simply had to focus on dancing, and on playing his violin, drowning out the screams with the notes.
The dressing room was mercifully quiet after the noise of the stage, and Henry sank into a chair, covering his eyes with his hands, trying to block out all stimulus.
“Henli?” a voice called from behind him. Henry briefly contemplated turning around, but decided that would take too much effort, and instead just grunted in response.
“Are you alright?” Henry finally placed the voice as belonging to Siwon. Henry’s mind supplied the calming look he had seen in Siwon’s eyes at the beginning of the concert, and he somehow gained the willpower to turn in his chair and face the older man.
“You’re not, are you.” It wasn’t a question.
“Why do they hate me?” Henry whispered the question, eyes tearing up, although he had told himself he wouldn’t cry. He lowered his head, trying to hide his tears.
“Because they’re small minded. Because they can’t deal with change. Because they don’t know you.” Siwon supplied. “They don’t know you like I-like we do.”
Henry looked up to see Siwon looking sheepish, a light pink tinge to his cheeks, no doubt brought on by his slip of the tongue.
Henry gave the older man a half smile.
“I just wish they didn’t hate me so much.” Henry admitted, eyes downcast again.
“Surely it would make you happier just to be yourself.” Siwon said, smiling at his dongsaeng, “Why fight to be accepted by people you don’t actually want to be like?”
Henry raised his head again, blinking at Siwon.
“It just makes sense to me.” Siwon shrugged. “We all like you, so why should it matter what a few fangirls say?”
“Siwon-hyung, there’s millions of them.” Henry pointed out.
“Exactly, a few fangirls.” Siwon said, flashing a dimpled grin. “They’re not important. What’s important is that we like you. I like you.”
Henry giggled, standing to give Siwon a hug.
“Thanks, hyung.” He said, wrapping his arms around Siwon’s waist, and burying his face in Siwon’s chest.
“No problem.” Siwon replied, wrapping his arms around Henry, and letting his chin come to rest on top of Henry’s head.
A cough from the doorway caused the two men to step apart, awkwardly and turn to look. Eeteuk stood in hall, rubbing the back of his neck and looking as though he wished he didn’t have to interrupt.
“Um... We’re going to head out now, so...” he trailed off, letting the two fill in his blank.
Siwon nodded and, taking Henry by the hand, made his way past Eeteuk and out towards the vans which would take them back to the dorms.
Henry fell asleep on the drive back, head falling into Siwon’s shoulder. Siwon carried the younger man into the apartment and down the hall to Henry’s bedroom, laying his small form on the bed. He pulled Henry’s shoes off, and removed his shirt, pausing a moment to look (not stare, never stare) at his well formed chest and stomach muscles, before pulling the blankets up and around the younger man.
He paused then, in a moment of impulsiveness, he leant down and kissed Henry softly, savouring the feeling of the younger man’s soft pink lips against his own. He was understandably, though not unpleasantly, shocked when he felt force behind those lips. His eyes flew open as he pulled back to see Henry smiling shyly at him from the bed.
“Sorry.” Siwon muttered, looking away.
“What for?” Henry asked, still smiling.
“I... You were asleep. I shouldn’t have...” Siwon trailed off.
“I don’t mind.” Henry said, reaching up to put a hand on Siwon’s shoulder.
“Really?” he asked quietly, looking down at Henry.
“Would I have kissed back if I didn’t want to?” Henry asked.
Siwon smiled, twisting to lie down next to Henry.
“I guess not.” He conceded.
“Good. Now that that’s settled, where were we?” Henry grinned, leaning forward to capture Siwon’s lips once more.
Henry slipped an arm around Siwon’s waist, with the intent of pulling the taller man closer, but paused, pulling away instead.
“No fair.” He whispered, pouting.
“What?” Siwon asked, worried that he had done something wrong.
“You got to take my shirt off, but you’re still wearing yours.” Henry replied with a smirk, hands finding their way to the first button on Siwon’s shirt.
Henry slowly undid each button, cold fingers ghosting over warm skin, making Siwon gasp both at the contact and at the sudden temperature change. Henry attempted to slip the shirt off of Siwon, but was stopped by Siwon’s contact with the bed. Humphing unhappily, he waited for Siwon to notice that his shirt was unlikely to come off until he stood up.
Siwon was, unfortunately, in some form of shock, and remained lying on his side, eyes open wide, staring at Henry as though he had grown an extra head, albeit a very sexy extra head.
“Hyung. You’re going to have to sit up.” Henry explained in the way one might use to speak to a small child, trying to push Siwon into a sitting position from his own position lying on the bed.
Siwon sat up, slowly as though not quite sure what he was being asked to do, and slipped his shirt off, letting it drop to the floor behind him.
“And while we’re at it...” Henry trailed off, looking pointedly at Siwon’s belt buckle.
At this point, it seemed Siwon came back to reality.
“Henli! I-we- what?” Siwon yelled, looking at Henry as though the younger man’s extra head had just revealed to him that both it and Henry were, in fact, women.
Henry sighed. This man was supposed to be older than him.
“Never mind.” He sighed, “I’ll do it myself.”
Henry pulled Siwon back down onto the bed, one hand threading itself through the older man’s hair and pulling his face closer, if that was possible, and the other gently massaging the front of Siwon’s jeans. Henry smirked into the kiss as Siwon moaned against his mouth.
“See? That’s not so bad, now, is it.” He said more than asked, pulling away for a moment.
Siwon made a sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan which Henry took to mean the older man agreed.
“Now let’s see about that belt.” Henry deftly unbuckled the belt, pulling it from the belt loops with such a force that it pulled Siwon’s hips closer to his own on the bed. The belt was discarded wantonly, possibly breaking something on the dresser, not that Henry particularly cared at that moment. Henry slipped a leg in between Siwon’s, pushing his thigh into the older man, making him gasp and groan and buck his hips, throwing his head back.
Henry smirked, leaning forward to close the gap between his mouth and Siwon’s neck, sucking lightly at the exposed flesh, grazing it gently with his teeth. He shimmied down the bed a bit, trailing a hand down the curve of Siwon’s waist and slowly kissing his way to a collarbone, then lower and lower, until he found a nipple to play with. He licked teasingly with his tongue, bringing a hand up to pinch the other nipple, revelling in the whimpers Siwon was making, his hands clawing at Henry’s shoulders.
Henry, deciding that Siwon had gotten enough attention further up, continued his downward route, tongue slipping out to lick its way between abdominals, a straight line that ended at the top of Siwon’s jeans. Here, he pulled away, not having perfected the art of undoing jeans with his mouth.
“Guh.” Siwon said intelligently.
“Guh, indeed.” Henry agreed, slowly undoing the button on Siwon’s jeans, unzipping the zipper while at the same time pressing his hand into Siwon as much as he could while still achieving his objective.
Siwon, this time, quickly realised that he would have to lift his hips in order for them to continue, and did so without prompting, abs flexing as he held the position long enough for Henry to slip both pants and boxers down to his ankles. He pauses, eyebrow raised, taking in the sight before him. For someone who didn’t want this, Siwon was being very cooperative.
“H-Henli!” Siwon moaned, begged, and Henry complied, giving a long, slow lick up the bottom of Siwon’s erection.
Siwon gasped, hands finding their way into Henry’s hair, fisting there as Henry leant forward, licking Siwon’s tip before slowly sliding his mouth down the shaft, supporting himself on his arms so Siwon couldn’t force him down further than he could go.
Henry started to move, slowly at first, tongue rolling lazily around the shaft, up and down. He moaned deep in the throat, the vibrations adding to Siwon’s pleasure, and subsequently his own as Siwon continued to make those delicious sounds.
Henry increased his speed, teeth lightly grazing sensitive, heated skin, causing Siwon to hiss his pleasure and his pain, and lift his hips, trying to get at more of the wet warmth of Henry’s mouth.
Siwon’s breath came in pants, head thrown back in careless abandon. If he was going to hell, then this was certainly the way to do it. Henry gripped the base of hic cock with a hand, gently squeezing as he continued to lick and suck his way around the head.
Siwon gasped at the multitude of sensations, feeling the tightness and heat pooling in his groin. He felt he should somehow warn Henry of what was to come, but merely managed to whimper once again.
Henry moaned again, squeezing slightly harder with his hand as he sucked on the very tip of Siwon’s cock. The combination was enough to send Siwon over the edge, the thick white liquid spilling into Henry’s mouth. Henry hummed his pleasure, licking Siwon clean, then sucking his fingers clean.
Henry smirked, working his way back up the bed to attack Siwon’s mouth again, tongue slipping past Siwon’s lips to battle with tongue. Henry won without much resistance on Siwon’s part, and slowly pulled away, Siwon’s bottom lip firmly between his teeth.
“I told you it wasn’t that bad.” Henry said hoarsely.
Siwon merely nodded, eyes closed, sighing in pleasure.
So… my first smut… I think it kind of sucks, personally. I also think it’s entirely anatomically incorrect (stomach muscles ftw), but there we go. That’s the way it wanted to be written, so hopefully it works on some level… I kind of think it was awkward, or maybe too fast? I kind of made Henry a slut, now that I think about it… sorry Henry!
It’s just occurred to me that catchmyambition wanted a Siwon/Henry… not a Henry/Siwon. I personally don’t really know the difference, but if you want a top!Siwon, I’m sure something can be arranged ^^;; sorry about that. Also, I apologize for the fact that it took me five billion years to get this thing written and posted, only it was kind of hard to write, ‘cause I’m apparently completely smutly challenged >< but maybe it’s good that it took forever, ‘cause maybe you stopped expecting it, so maybe this is all surprising and that surprise (hopefully a good surprise) makes up for the fact that it took forever? Yes? No? Shut up? Okay ^^;;
Constructive criticism is especially welcome and requested for this fic, ‘cause if I ever write smut again, I’ll want to know how I screwed up this time to fix it later. Anything that was unclear? Anything that was entirely anatomically incorrect (It’s not supposed to bend like that!)? Any words I used incorrectly? Anything I can do to make it better, really. Much appreciated ^^
Reading it over, I think the ending kind of sucks, but I was looking for an ending which wouldn’t oblige me to write a sequel, and it’s 3:30 in the morning and I’m kind of tired and not really paying attention to… much of anything really. Excuses, excuses, I know, so I’ll try harder next time :P