Mitha (freedomthisway) wrote in miracle______,

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A Requested Oneshot KangHyuk smut for hunni23

Title : Masochist
Author : freedomthisway
Rating : NC-17
Character/Pairing : Kangin, Hyukjae/KangHyuk and minor KangTeuk
Word Count : 2044 words
Genre : shamelessoneshotsmutcoloredwiththickangst
Summary : The thing is, Hyukjae doesn’t understand, and he will never be. But he had made his choice, so won’t it be better to just leave things in the dark as the way they are now and just proceed on doing something much more gratifying?

Author’s note:
I finally wrote another smut, and it’s KangHyuk. xDD

Well yeah, idk, this time writing smut was felt so much easier. Perhaps it’s because my mood has been kind of dark lately? I have nothing to do but write because nowadays it’s the only thing that can make me feel alive and cared for. Isn’t that pathetic?
Anyway, this fic is written for hunni23 who requested smut KangHyuk just a few days ago. I hope she and everyone who read will enjoy this. And it’s also dedicated to all of kanghyuk’s members. Thanks for sharing the same wet dream, girls~!

Hyukjae’s hands are wrapped around Kangin’s bulky shoulder, caressing it up and down onto his back, enjoying the rough skin textures so different than his own.

Kangin lifts his mouth off his now slightly damp nape, staring at his eyes and they both shiver at the knowledge of how many unspoken words it represents. Kangin clenches his hands inside his hair and it hurts when he can feel his scalp tightens, but Hyukjae closes his eyes and moans instead, because nothing gives the taste of reality better than pain.

That fact has turned him into a masochist in the hand of this older man he loves. Before he knows it, he craves pain. He longs for it in those nights when his body is cold and his lips are dry. And in times like this when he finally feels it, he embraces it. Fully, never wants to let it end because it always means that Kangin is here now and is all over him and they are real.

Kangin catches his lips in one wild kiss, and he does this licking and lapping and swirling with his tongue until Hyukjae’s sense is going numb for everything else but the pressure and the chokes and the faint taste of cigarette, accompanied by the indecent sound of their whole mouth mingling.

It’s intoxicating as always, and Hyukjae barely registers a bead of tear rolling down from his closed eyes.

Kangin then leaves Hyukjae’s gaping mouth to lick the trace of the tear slowly up and Hyukjae opens his eyes at that, only to close them again when Kangin reaches the corner of Hyukjae’s right eye and plant a soft kiss on the lid.

“Don’t cry anymore.” Kangin’s voice sounds hoarse in Hyukjae’s ears. “I’m here.”

And Hyukjae smiles weakly, whispering I know without opening his eyes, knowing exactly that dark clouds swirling inside Kangin’s deep gaze will be the first thing he see if he does.

Kangin doesn’t move, so Hyukjae thrusts his hips upwards, whimpering when he can feel his hardness rubbing Kangin’s and creating unbearably delicious friction. It’s too much for both of them but Hyukjae keeps doing it because Kangin hates teasing the most, which is good. He needs Kangin to do something other than staring at him like this, silently tries to make Hyukjae understand these things between them.

The thing is, Hyukjae doesn’t understand, and he will never be. But he had made his choice, so won’t it be better to just leave things in the dark as the way they are now and just proceed on doing something much more gratifying?

5 seconds, Hyukjae’s mind is counting until Kangin finally growls, can no longer take the sweet torture. He crawls lower, his wet lips ghosting over Hyukjae’s cheek, over his slender neck, and along his bare chest. Kangin finds one of Hyukjae’s nipples, flicking his tongue on it once and Hyukjae can’t help it when he jolts upward once, and then twice. His whole body is racked with shiver as Kangin is lapping the pink bud over and over again.

His hands are sprawled beside his body now, but the sheet is too cold and too soft as he’s gripping it hard and Hyukjae doesn’t like it. So he lifts them up, finds Kangin’s skin above him once again and he clutches over it tightly, revels on the familiar warmth beneath his fingers.

Kangin’s exploring tongue is dragging slowly over his navel, circling the skin there a few times before it moves even lower to find Hyukjae down there, hard and dripping and oh so ready.

When Kangin’s mouth finally engulfs him whole, Hyukjae’s groaning is heard somewhere deep within his throat and it isn’t long before he finds himself unconsciously thrusting up into the heat repeatedly, trying to match Kangin’s sucking pace.

The pleasure intensifies triple than it has been before and Hyukjae almost lose it, but Kangin can tell. He always can. And Hyukjae lets out a mewl from his lips, jerking helplessly, as Kangin suddenly releases him with a loud pop.

Hyukjae opens his eyes hazily, looking down. Which is a great mistake because he can see Kangin grinning right before he dips his head down and licks Hyukjae’s balls. Kangin’s nose bumps his lower cock hard as Hyukjae jolts forward, stomach tighten to the sensation, and the younger man thrashes his head to the sides when Kangin continues his assault.

After one full minute, Kangin spares Hyukjae from going insane and grabs his legs, lifting it up and wait until Hyukjae’s eyes back on his before running his wet lips along Hyukjae’s inner thigh. Hyukjae’s eyes are fluttering heavily as he unconsciously tries to keep it open. Kangin’s eyes are dark and so full of lust and he seems to not care at the fact that Hyukjae’s finger nails are digging deeper down his back, almost break skin. Hyukjae just can’t help it. When Kangin looks at him like that, it makes him feel loved, as if Kangin will still be his and only his once this is all over.

But Hyukjae knows better, it’s nothing but empty dreams.

So Hyukjae takes a deep breath to clear the haze in his brain before reaching to his side, desperately searching for a tube of lube he knows is lying somewhere there. Finding it, Hyukjae grabs it and shoves it hard on Kangin’s hand holding his folded knee. The kisses stops, and Kangin just stares at the tube for a moment before his eyes moves to meet Hyukjae’s, only to see them filled with defiance.

“Kangin-hyung, your fingers…” Hyukjae licks his lips and lifts his chin up. “I need it in me now.” He says, meeting Kangin’s hesitant and stubborn gaze with a demanding and meaningful gaze of his own.

Stop treating me so tenderly. Stop these whole sugar-coating efforts. Stop looking at me like I’m the only person in the world that can make your life complete.

Kangin turns his face down at that. And Hyukjae is watching as Kangin picks up the tube off his stomach, flicks it open, and pours a fair amount of it onto his hand.

“Make it hurts, Hyung.” Hyukjae tells Kangin at the first nudge of his finger on his opening, and Kangin’s jaw is tightened as he shoves a long finger inside with one swift push.

Hyukjae bites back a whimper. It burns and it’s fucking uncomfortable, but he bucks down, forcing the long digit deeper inside.

Finally, the pain is back.

And Hyukjae growls more over and over again, encouraging Kangin to twist the finger in more, bend it in just right angle to scrape his insides. Kangin adds another digit in, can’t do anything else but, because Hyukjae’s hips keep moving and the heat is pulsing and Kangin is left with no choice but to be carried away by it.

Minutes passing and Kangin can’t take it any longer. He is hard like he’s never been before and Hyukjae’s opening is gaping and puckering invitingly when he pulls his fingers out.

Kangin reaches the tube and pours it over his long thick shaft, slathers it clumsily due to hurrying until it’s dripping and slimy and gleaming menacingly beneath the bright light of lamp.

The older man settles himself between Hyukjae’s legs, guiding his cock with one trembling hand right over Hyukjae’s damp pink hole. Kangin looks up and finds Hyukjae’s eyes on him, dark with plea and Kangin feels awed at the sight of Hyukjae lying there, skin so white and flawless and white teeth biting into his red luscious lips.

Hyukjae is breathtakingly perfect.

Kangin’s almost sorry for the knowledge that this perfect creature beneath him has been doing nothing but giving him every piece of his heart and soul since day one, even when he knows that Kangin can only trade it with vague love statement and stolen kisses where nobody will see and rough love making in bizarre hours that will leave marks and bruises to be covered and hid days after.

But Kangin isn’t sorry. He realizes he’s too much of an asshole and too greedy to let Hyukjae go.

“It’s going to hurt even more from now on, Hyukjae-ah.” Kangin speaks the somehow ambiguous truth softly, swallowing the I love you threatening to come out because they’ve been doing this for so many times already and Kangin knows that Hyukjae has set the limit of truth that is allowed to be told when they’re together.

Speaking of each other’s true feelings out loud is the first to be banned.

Right now what’s happening between them is simple. Hell, they‘ve been trying hard to pretend that their relationship is simple. Saying God, I love you or Fuck, I hate you but why I just can’t get enough of you? or I’m sorry for doing this to you will result in nothing but a disturbance in this already fragile balance.

Hyukjae stares at him, and his smile is filled with sadness as he says. “Isn’t it always?” And Kangin is unable to find words good enough to answer that.

Hyukjae blinks and wiggles his lower body. “Come on, Hyung. It’s okay.” He then lifts his legs higher, providing Kangin with easier access.

Kangin’s cock twitches in response. Actually he still wants to say a few more words, anything to convince Hyukjae that this ritual they are doing holds much more meaning than how it seems. But Kangin realizes it’s going to be useless because both of them know that Kangin will still crawl back into Eeteuk’s warm hug after this.

As long as Kangin loves his fame and his job too much, yet keeps being too insecure and just too afraid and has too little confidence over himself to stop Lee Soo Man and those screaming fans from dictating whom he can hug and kiss and love, nothing will change between him and Hyukjae.

So Kangin tries to focus on the body heat beneath him instead as he’s entering Hyukjae not too slowly. Both of them groan at the sensations and once Kangin has settled all of him inside, Hyukjae’s heat surrounding him perfectly, Kangin leans down to capture Hyukjae’s mouth in a soft kiss.

Hyukjae’s face is scrunched in pain as he can feel his inside being stretched; wondering if his body will ever get used to this kind of full sensation one day.

Not soon, Hyukjae hopes, because this burning intrusion is what keeps him sane to live another day behind layers of pretense every time he walks out of his room to find himself in a situation where Kangin isn’t the only member around.

As their lips parted, Kangin’s face is hovering above Hyukjae’s for a moment, before moving his hand to wipe the frown off Hyukjae’s forehead.

“It’ll be better soon.” Kangin promises in Hyukjae’s ears, and starts to move.


With sleepy eyes, Hyukjae watches Kangin wears his clothes in silence.

Once finished, the older man bends over the bed to peck Hyukjae’s forehead before walking towards the door and exits without a sound.

Hyukjae averts his gaze from the closed door and turns to lie on his side. He flinches when something warm is flowing out of his throbbing opening as he does that.

Kangin is one territorial bastard and no matter how many times Hyukjae had warned him to not coming inside, he’s still doing it. But the truth is Hyukjae doesn’t mind it one bit. It gives him strange satisfaction, knowing how it marks him as Kangin’s, at least until he gets up next morning and scrubs out all of it clean.

It’ll be better soon, Hyukjae just can’t stop that one sentence Kangin said from repeating over and over again inside his hazy mind.

Kangin-hyung must’ve talked about the sex.

If it was about something else, then Kangin is one big fat liar, because even now Hyukjae can still feel sharp stinging in his heart at the fact that Kangin is gone and his body starts to get cold fast and once again he is lying here on this messy bed, alone.

Hyukjae really thinks he needs to see a psychologist or something, finds out if there is a surefire therapy to cure this masochism side of him.


PS: Oh, great. It’s the lamest ending I’ve ever wrote. And NO, what makes you think I broke my own principle to never ever write a sad ending fic by creating this lame piece? Just let your imagination wander, and in one way or another I’m sure you’ll find KangHyuk’s happy ending somewhere inside your head.

I know I did. XD

You can also find my other Super Junior fanfictions here in archive post in my writing journal.
Tags: pairing: kangin/eunhyuk

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