Disclaimer: Don’t own them. I don’t own anything recognisable
Prompt: “I Don’t Care.”
Comment: For furutsu
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From this list here, Please if you can help I would so appreciate it!!
Teaser:It is what it is. I am who I am. You are you. You already know how I feel.
“You shouldn’t want to be with me.”
“What do you mean?”
“The others…everyone….they’ll talk…”
“I don’t care! Who are they to dictate what I want, what I feel, who I want to be with? The only person whose opinion I care about, the only one who can turn me down is you. And even if you disagree I can’t turn off what I feel like you can a light switch. It isn’t that easy.”
“But nothing. It is what it is. I am who I am. You are you. You already know how I feel.”
I watched him walk away; his usually cheery face drawn and tight with overwhelming emotion. I felt weak at the knees. Why was this happening to me? Why now? We had been friends for so long and now….and now it was something different. Why did he always make everything so difficult? He has that ability to waltz into your life and just make it unbelievably complicated and then waltz right out again.”
I watched until I couldn’t see him anymore.
I wondered to myself. Is he going to walk away from me? If I let myself fall for him will he love me and then leave me when he finds someone he loves more. SungMin never lies. He told me he loves me. I believe him. I just don’t know if he loves me now in this moment or if he loves me for tomorrow and next week and three months from now.
This is why I don’t want to give in. It is for this reason, this uncertainty that I am afraid. I know if I let myself fall, I will fall completely and totally in love with him. Am I selfish for wanting to protect my heart from pain?
I look up from my book. I already know it is him. I know he has been standing in the doorway for good on three minutes now, just watching me. I can feel my heart beat just a little bit faster as I notice his eyes on me.
I don’t understand. I’m not vain enough to believe that I’m good looking. I mean, I’m not repulsive – I have hair and all my teeth and the like – but compared to the other eleven boys we interact with on a daily basis I’m not even in the same league.
Why would he possibly want me when he could have any one of them? What could he possibly see in me? Why?
“You think too much Hyung.”
“You think I’m so shallow to go by looks alone?”
“Well. No of course not.”
“Then why is it so hard for you to believe that I want to be with you?”
“Aren’t you worried…”
“No. I don’t care what other people think. I mean, I do…of course…I mean I want them to like me as a person and respect me as an artist but if I let the outside dictate every part of my life then it really isn’t my life at all is it?”
I didn’t know what to say. Never had I heard such serious words come from him. I waited to see what he said next.
“If you honestly don’t want to be with me, then I guess I will have to learn to live with that but if you are hesitating because you are unsure if I love you or not, I give you my word that I do. I can’t promise forever and ever because that would be foolish. I don’t know what will happen next week let alone ten years from now. But I can honestly say that I want to be with you. You make me laugh, you make me smile and you make me feel safe. I don’t care what others think. I don’t care what others will say.”
“ShinDong, I just want you to save the last dance for me.”
I let him take my hand in his. I let him place it over his racing heart and for the first time I realize that for his all his sure words and cool stance he is just as nervous as me. He doesn’t know what the future holds. It would be stupid for me to hold out on what could be my happiness because of uncertainty about all the tomorrows that the future holds.
Save the last dance.
I can do that.
A/N: OMG I have no idea what I was thinking O_O I don’t even know if it makes proper sense. I hope what I meant comes across in my ramblings.