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07 November 2008 @ 04:44 pm
 
For lexy_babby
Pairing: kyumin
Genre: failed attempt at crack XD
Rating: Uhm, sex ed. :D (references to the naughty~ XD)
A/N: for lexy_babby XD because she gave me a really funny prompt to do XD
Prompt: “SEX ED xDD”


EDIT: OH SNAP. I REALIZED BEFORE I WROTE DOWN KANGTEUK AS ONE OF THE PAIRINGS...BUT KANGIN NEVER MADE AN APPEARANCE LOOOOOL.......... SORRY........

It all started when an amazingly feminine creature named Kim Heechul strolled into the living room one day, being suspiciously quiet and whistling suspiciously.

“Hanniee!” He cooed sweetly as Hangeng turned around.

“…What did you do this time?” Park Jungsu, otherwise known as Leeteuk by his fans, raised an eyebrow at the overly happy Heechul.

“Oh god, don’t tell me you want me to take care of Heebum again." Hangeng's eyes widended in horor as he bolted up from his chair, planning to run away. Unfortunately for him, Heechul was one step quicker than him and managed to stop the other from running away by sticking out his skinny leg and tripping the other.

“OH SH—“ Kyuhyun glanced at who had covered his ears for him. It was Leeteuk and he was currently shouting something to Hangeng. Probably something along the lines of ‘Watch your language you idiot! Kyuhyun is here!’ Kyuhyun just sighed.

“Hyung,” He said, “I’m already 20, remember?” He gave his leader a gentle smile.

“Yes, but still. I need to train for the future when I have kids.” Leeteuk huffed with an overly proud smile on his face. Kyuhyun just gave him a “wtf” look and slowly walked away.

“MAGNAE! STOP RIGHT THERE.” Heechul pointed to Kyuhyun dramatically.

“Yes hyung?” Kyuhyun asked, not afraid at all (despite the evil aura and the evil grin on his hyung's pretty little face).

“Today, I decided to be kind to you low lives and educate you today.” He smiled proudly, “Today, I have planned a very educational presentation on,” He paused dramatically as his grin grew bigger (if that was possible), “SEX!”

Heechul’s exclamation was met with silence.

“Right…I’ll just go…over there…” Kyuhyun immediately headed for his room. Unfortunately, a tall man with godly arms made of steel by the name of Choi Shiwon happened to be in his way.

“Hyung, oh god, no.” Kyuhyun shook his head as he tried to look for another exit.

“Sorry, Kyuhyun-sshi. Heechul said that if I didn’t help him, he'd scratch out my eyes the next time I touched Hankyung hyung.”

“HEECHUL! YOU WHAT?!” Kyuhyun heard Hangeng scream at Heechul.

“Relax, Hannie. Now be a good boy and set a good example for your dongsaengs and sit over there.” Heechul grinned like a Cheshire cat. Hangeng, afraid of being tripped again, did what he was told and sat down at where Heechul had pointed to.

“Now, you,” Heechul pointed to Shiwon, “Bring him over.” Before Kyuhyun knew it, his feet were off the ground and he was immediately dumped onto a couch beside Hangeng.

“Now today, I will educate you peoples about sex—“

“HEECHUL! STOP CORRUPTING MY CHILDREN!” Kyuhyun saw Shiwon holding back a hysteric Leeteuk.

“Shut up Leeteuk, one, they're already corrupted, so it's okay. And two, I’m practicing for the future.” Heechul had announced this proudly.

“You…want to educate people about sex when you’re older?” Sungmin chose a bad time to come out of his room. Before he knew it, two mischievous little animals (a fish and a monkey) known as “EunHae” tackled Sungmin to the floor and dragged him onto the couch as well.

“Good job, my minions.” Heechul grinned evilly.

“Oh god.” Kyuhyun could hear Hangeng mumble beside him.

Eventually, Heechul, Eunhyuk and Donghae managed to get the rest of Super Junior in that small living room (how did they all fit? I do not know. Figure it out yourself.)

“Good job. Here’s your pay.” Heechul gave both Eunhyuk and Donghae a large bag of cookies.

“COOKIES!” They both screamed happily as they ran off, “BYE-BYE, SUCKERS!” The living room fell silent.

“Okay…let’s forget about those two oddballs and let’s begin our lesson.” Kyuhyun swears he sees something dark surrounding Heechul.

“So, does anyone know what “sex” is?” Heechul grinned evilly.

================

“When will he stop?” Kyuhyun looks down at Sungmin who has his head on Kyuhyun’s lap. Kyuhyun glanced at Heechul who was still rambling on and on about things that were irrelevant to sex.

“At this rate, never.” Sungmin giggled quietly at that.

“Sungmin! Kyuhyun! Stop talking!” Heechul threw a pillow at Kyuhyun’s head.

“Yes sir.” Both Kyuhyun and Sungmin mumbled.

“As a punishment, both of you will have to stand over there!” Heechul pointed to the hallway where the rooms were and where Heechul couldn’t see. Both of them gave each other similar grins and immediately bolted there.

Kyuhyun thinks that he heard Yehsung mumble, “Lucky bastards.”

================

“Ah, I want pumpkin…” Sungmin mumbled. Both Kyuhyun and Sungmin decided to sneak back into their rooms (and locked it as a precaution, just in case an evil creature by the name of Heechul decided to go into their room.)

“Mhmm.” Was Kyuhyun’s reply as he watched Sungmin play with his bunnies.

“And…” Sungmin blushed a bit, “I was actually kind of looking forward to this lesson.”

CRASH.

“Kyu! Are you alright?” Sungmin immediately went to a Kyuhyun who was lying on the floor as a result of falling off a chair.

“…Why?” Kyuhyun stared at Sungmin as if he was an alien.

“Well, back in high school,” Sungmin blushed, “I was sick the day they had a presentation on sex.” Kyuhyun laughed and ruffled Sungmin’s hair.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Sungmin replied; face a bit red from the embarrassment.

“Well,” Sungmin saw an evil glint in Kyuhyun’s eyes as he began to get up and pull Sungmin up with him. Kyuhyun had began to walk towards Sungmin as Sungmin had began to back away.

“M-Magnae, what are you doing?” Sungmin asked in a small voice. Kyuhyun smirked (lecherously) at this, “Nothing,” as he got closer to Sungmin, his smirk grew wider (and became more lecherous), “I’m just going to show you that," Sungmin fell down on his bed, "I’m a much better teacher than Heechul will ever be.”

And pounced.

---

:D

lexy_babby~~~ I hoped you liked it XD

And I hope the ending wasn’t confusing or anything :|
 
 
Current Music: Tohoshinki - Somebody to Love
 
 
 
renichifreak: Eunhyuk-so hot...renichifreak on November 8th, 2008 01:25 am (UTC)
...this was FUCKING AWESOME!!!

Your Heechul is kickASS!!! hehe...all must bow before his uber awesome-ness!!!

Poor Sungmin...he doesn't stand a chance!!

eunhae are Heechul's minions, and they work for cookies...::searches for cookies to lure Hyukkie::

the ninja sihan was priceless!!!
xendlesssorrowx: uedaa~xendlesssorrowx on November 8th, 2008 01:47 am (UTC)
LOOL thankyouuuuuuuu XDD

your comments are funny XDD
renichifreak: Eunhyuk and Yoochun::dies::renichifreak on November 8th, 2008 01:50 am (UTC)
hehe..::bows::Than you, thank you...I do parties, too!!XDD

Keep writing gems like this(with lots and lots of eunhae) and I'll leave you reviews full of my love!!!

I shall leave you with my 2 favorite people in music right now, together in one pic only!!!::snuggles::
xendlesssorrowx: kyumiin♥xendlesssorrowx on November 8th, 2008 01:54 am (UTC)
LOOOLL

alrights O: i'll try my bestt♥
and ill be looking forward to your reviews XDD

:D
renichifreak: Eunhyuk-nice assrenichifreak on November 8th, 2008 01:56 am (UTC)
YAY!!!::tackles and snuggles::
xendlesssorrowx: kyumiin♥xendlesssorrowx on November 8th, 2008 04:59 am (UTC)
*back to you ;D*

XDDD
rokkugo_ogukkor on November 8th, 2008 01:35 am (UTC)
*___* So funny, and cute, and and and just really great!!
Heechul is so hilarious XD; So good at manipulating, and Siwon's such a goody two shoes (I guess?) sometimes, really >__>!

Kyuhyun should give more Sex Ed class with Sungmin :D!?
xendlesssorrowx: kyumiin♥xendlesssorrowx on November 8th, 2008 01:48 am (UTC)
haha thank youu :D

yes he should LOOL♥ then they can do their "homework" together coughcough
mikudaisuki on November 8th, 2008 01:45 am (UTC)
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Daymn! Kyu, you perverted bastard! *smirks*
xendlesssorrowx: yunho pwns kanginxendlesssorrowx on November 8th, 2008 01:49 am (UTC)
yeep XDD
thanks for commentiing<3
baby_buggsbaby_buggs on November 8th, 2008 02:06 am (UTC)
though you methods are questionable, yes, the members need to be educated about sex. XD genius Kyu. :)
xendlesssorrowx: lovehannie~xendlesssorrowx on November 8th, 2008 04:35 am (UTC)
hehe ;D
thank you for commenting♥
(Deleted comment)
xendlesssorrowx: kyumiin♥xendlesssorrowx on November 8th, 2008 04:36 am (UTC)
LOOOL thank youuuuuuuuu♥ me too :3 for giving me such a fun prompt to do XD

LOOOOOL~


sorry, i cannot :|! I am female and I am guessing you are too.
:D
and im already "married" XDD~
한 태욱hotarumyst on November 8th, 2008 03:51 am (UTC)
OMGGGGGGGG THIS WAS AMAZING! XDDDD I loved it, hilarious and amazing! XDDD

“HEECHUL! STOP CORRUPTING MY CHILDREN!” Kyuhyun saw Shiwon holding back a hysteric Leeteuk.

“Shut up Leeteuk, one, they're already corrupted, so it's okay. And two, I’m practicing for the future.” Heechul had announced this proudly.


Best couple of lines right there.

And of course, the ending. <3333 ♥♥
xendlesssorrowx: sparklyryochan~~xendlesssorrowx on November 8th, 2008 04:37 am (UTC)
haha X3

Thank you for commenting♥
kyuhyunlover3kyuhyunlover3 on November 8th, 2008 04:06 am (UTC)
OMG I JUST LOVED THIS!!!XD XD XD HEECHUL YOU ARE SUCH AN AWESOME HYUNG!!!XD XD <3
xendlesssorrowx: hanchul♥xendlesssorrowx on November 8th, 2008 04:37 am (UTC)
:D

thank you for commenting♥
murd3r4lyf3murd3r4lyf3 on November 8th, 2008 06:17 am (UTC)
that was soooo CUTE AND FUNNEH!!!!
i heart itt mann
sungminnie was soo cute, and kyuhyun's like..smex? been there, done that..XDDDDDDDD
xendlesssorrowx: sparklyryochan~~xendlesssorrowx on November 8th, 2008 06:41 am (UTC)
haha X]
thank you for commetning♥
There's no obvious, rational form for sadness...: sexymardigrasmaven on November 8th, 2008 08:30 am (UTC)
Lol!! Teacher!Kyu >Teacher!Chullie because Teacher!Kyu actually teaches Student!Min. So he ended up winning! Shame on Chullie... although not because someone got sex so yea... XD WIN!!
xendlesssorrowx: kyumiin♥xendlesssorrowx on November 10th, 2008 01:06 am (UTC)
hehe XD
thanks for commenting♥
vic_simvic_sim on November 8th, 2008 04:34 pm (UTC)
haha...I love Heechul!!^^
and kyumin was great!
xendlesssorrowx: hanchul♥xendlesssorrowx on November 10th, 2008 01:07 am (UTC)
thank you for commetning :D
catsatancat on November 8th, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
aww, cute :D
Kinda random, though XDDDD
Ah well, Cinderella always does have the best ideas...x__x;

devious!kyu never gets old! YAY 8DDDD
xendlesssorrowx: kyumiin♥xendlesssorrowx on November 10th, 2008 01:08 am (UTC)
LOOL butbutbut random = good :D:D
yes, especially when sungmin's involved >3
thank you for commeting♥
psychobarbiehaxpsychobarbiehax on November 8th, 2008 10:04 pm (UTC)
“Sorry, Kyuhyun-sshi. Heechul said that if I didn’t help him, he'd scratch out my eyes the next time I touched Hankyung hyung.”
ROFLMAO
xendlesssorrowx: kyumiin♥xendlesssorrowx on November 10th, 2008 01:08 am (UTC)
x]

thank you for commeting♥
kim_hae_eun on November 9th, 2008 02:01 am (UTC)
omgosh! a bitchy heechul is never good. a bored heechul is even worse. a overly happy heechul is WW3!!!! lol well not exactly but it's on that path!

“Hyung,” He said, “I’m already 20, remember?” He gave his leader a gentle smile.

“Yes, but still. I need to train for the future when I have kids.” Leeteuk huffed with an overly proud smile on his face. Kyuhyun just gave him a “wtf” look and slowly walked away.
BWHAHAHAHHAHA LOL THAT'S HILARIOUS!

“Sorry, Kyuhyun-sshi. Heechul said that if I didn’t help him, he'd scratch out my eyes the next time I touched Hankyung hyung.”
“HEECHUL! YOU WHAT?!” Kyuhyun heard Hangeng scream at Heechul.

hahaha oh come on siwon! isnt it worth getting scrathed by heechul if it means you get to touch hannie! LOL

hahhaha omgod! the eunhae (couple) minion got sucked into heechul's plan!
WTF!!!!!!! COOKIES???
LOL HAHHHA GOSH THEY'RE SUCH LITTLE KIDS!
but at least they're not recieving sex education from heechul!

not think! he probably did! LOL
hahhaha no way! sungmin was looking forward to it?
this just keeps on getting more and more hilarious!

lol haha knew it!
heechul's right. they're already corrupted, so it's okay.
hahhaa heechul's amazin like that! LOL
sungmin, now you wished you were out there and not in your locked shared bedroom with kyu right? LOL
SO NOT WISHIN THAT! lol
xendlesssorrowx: SOMEONE'S too happy...xendlesssorrowx on November 10th, 2008 01:10 am (UTC)
LOOL WW3...

i agree. touching hannie IS worth it x] shiwon's just too worried about his face XDD

haha thank you for commeting :D
kim_hae_eun on November 10th, 2008 01:15 am (UTC)
lol hahha hey! it can happen!

exactly! he is soo worth it!
and you'd think heechul is the one who worries about his face LOL

your welcome ^-^
YunChaRisYeolO.Oyunhyukslover on September 27th, 2010 08:09 am (UTC)
funny
heechul's mean all of the fics i read so far mentions heechul as dumb ass, 8 suits his. I wonder what happen next to kyumin, lol hehe
babo_lovebabo_love on March 14th, 2011 03:32 am (UTC)
HeeMalBub lol...this is so funny!!!
Min and Kyu are so cute!!!