Genre: failed attempt at crack XD
Rating: Uhm, sex ed. :D (references to the naughty~ XD)
A/N: for lexy_babby XD because she gave me a really funny prompt to do XD
Prompt: “SEX ED xDD”
EDIT: OH SNAP. I REALIZED BEFORE I WROTE DOWN KANGTEUK AS ONE OF THE PAIRINGS...BUT KANGIN NEVER MADE AN APPEARANCE LOOOOOL.......... SORRY........
It all started when an amazingly feminine creature named Kim Heechul strolled into the living room one day, being suspiciously quiet and whistling suspiciously.
“Hanniee!” He cooed sweetly as Hangeng turned around.
“…What did you do this time?” Park Jungsu, otherwise known as Leeteuk by his fans, raised an eyebrow at the overly happy Heechul.
“Oh god, don’t tell me you want me to take care of Heebum again." Hangeng's eyes widended in horor as he bolted up from his chair, planning to run away. Unfortunately for him, Heechul was one step quicker than him and managed to stop the other from running away by sticking out his skinny leg and tripping the other.
“OH SH—“ Kyuhyun glanced at who had covered his ears for him. It was Leeteuk and he was currently shouting something to Hangeng. Probably something along the lines of ‘Watch your language you idiot! Kyuhyun is here!’ Kyuhyun just sighed.
“Hyung,” He said, “I’m already 20, remember?” He gave his leader a gentle smile.
“Yes, but still. I need to train for the future when I have kids.” Leeteuk huffed with an overly proud smile on his face. Kyuhyun just gave him a “wtf” look and slowly walked away.
“MAGNAE! STOP RIGHT THERE.” Heechul pointed to Kyuhyun dramatically.
“Yes hyung?” Kyuhyun asked, not afraid at all (despite the evil aura and the evil grin on his hyung's pretty little face).
“Today, I decided to be kind to you low lives and educate you today.” He smiled proudly, “Today, I have planned a very educational presentation on,” He paused dramatically as his grin grew bigger (if that was possible), “SEX!”
Heechul’s exclamation was met with silence.
“Right…I’ll just go…over there…” Kyuhyun immediately headed for his room. Unfortunately, a tall man with
“Hyung, oh god, no.” Kyuhyun shook his head as he tried to look for another exit.
“Sorry, Kyuhyun-sshi. Heechul said that if I didn’t help him, he'd scratch out my eyes the next time I touched Hankyung hyung.”
“HEECHUL! YOU WHAT?!” Kyuhyun heard Hangeng scream at Heechul.
“Relax, Hannie. Now be a good boy and set a good example for your dongsaengs and sit over there.” Heechul grinned like a Cheshire cat. Hangeng, afraid of being tripped again, did what he was told and sat down at where Heechul had pointed to.
“Now, you,” Heechul pointed to Shiwon, “Bring him over.” Before Kyuhyun knew it, his feet were off the ground and he was immediately dumped onto a couch beside Hangeng.
“Now today, I will educate you peoples about sex—“
“HEECHUL! STOP CORRUPTING MY CHILDREN!” Kyuhyun saw Shiwon holding back a hysteric Leeteuk.
“Shut up Leeteuk, one, they're already corrupted, so it's okay. And two, I’m practicing for the future.” Heechul had announced this proudly.
“You…want to educate people about sex when you’re older?” Sungmin chose a bad time to come out of his room. Before he knew it, two mischievous little animals (a fish and a monkey) known as “EunHae” tackled Sungmin to the floor and dragged him onto the couch as well.
“Good job, my minions.” Heechul grinned evilly.
“Oh god.” Kyuhyun could hear Hangeng mumble beside him.
Eventually, Heechul, Eunhyuk and Donghae managed to get the rest of Super Junior in that small living room (how did they all fit? I do not know. Figure it out yourself.)
“Good job. Here’s your pay.” Heechul gave both Eunhyuk and Donghae a large bag of cookies.
“COOKIES!” They both screamed happily as they ran off, “BYE-BYE, SUCKERS!” The living room fell silent.
“Okay…let’s forget about those two oddballs and let’s begin our lesson.” Kyuhyun swears he sees something dark surrounding Heechul.
“So, does anyone know what “sex” is?” Heechul grinned evilly.
“When will he stop?” Kyuhyun looks down at Sungmin who has his head on Kyuhyun’s lap. Kyuhyun glanced at Heechul who was still rambling on and on about things that were irrelevant to sex.
“At this rate, never.” Sungmin giggled quietly at that.
“Sungmin! Kyuhyun! Stop talking!” Heechul threw a pillow at Kyuhyun’s head.
“Yes sir.” Both Kyuhyun and Sungmin mumbled.
“As a punishment, both of you will have to stand over there!” Heechul pointed to the hallway where the rooms were and where Heechul couldn’t see. Both of them gave each other similar grins and immediately bolted there.
Kyuhyun thinks that he heard Yehsung mumble, “Lucky bastards.”
“Ah, I want pumpkin…” Sungmin mumbled. Both Kyuhyun and Sungmin decided to sneak back into their rooms (and locked it as a precaution, just in case an evil creature by the name of Heechul decided to go into their room.)
“Mhmm.” Was Kyuhyun’s reply as he watched Sungmin play with his bunnies.
“And…” Sungmin blushed a bit, “I was actually kind of looking forward to this lesson.”
“Kyu! Are you alright?” Sungmin immediately went to a Kyuhyun who was lying on the floor as a result of falling off a chair.
“…Why?” Kyuhyun stared at Sungmin as if he was an alien.
“Well, back in high school,” Sungmin blushed, “I was sick the day they had a presentation on sex.” Kyuhyun laughed and ruffled Sungmin’s hair.
“Seriously.” Sungmin replied; face a bit red from the embarrassment.
“Well,” Sungmin saw an evil glint in Kyuhyun’s eyes as he began to get up and pull Sungmin up with him. Kyuhyun had began to walk towards Sungmin as Sungmin had began to back away.
“M-Magnae, what are you doing?” Sungmin asked in a small voice. Kyuhyun smirked (lecherously) at this, “Nothing,” as he got closer to Sungmin, his smirk grew wider (and became more lecherous), “I’m just going to show you that," Sungmin fell down on his bed, "I’m a much better teacher than Heechul will ever be.”
lexy_babby~~~ I hoped you liked it XD
And I hope the ending wasn’t confusing or anything :|