Comments: Uh...don't hate me...?
Thank you to Carla, Shaloam, Helen, and Fay for the prompts.
If you are interested, my other works are here
Previously: 12 Eeteuk drabbles, 11 Heechul drabbles, 10 HanKyung drabbles, 9 YehSung drabbles
Title: Just thought you’d like to know.
Ah, this is hopeless. I retreated back into my room and upon flopping face first onto my bed I reached blindly for my favourite teddy and brought it up under my chin. I was tired of watching him flounce around the living room like some….some…adorable – uh – hyperactive kid.
I spared a glance over my shoulder. I groaned when I saw how it was. ShinDong was starting to get on my nerves. Ever since he had found out certain truths about me he had been constantly at my back, giving me ‘helpful’ advice.
“What do you want?”
“You’re being pathetic!”
I glared at him. First; how dare he say such things to me and second; does he think that I don’t already know!
I watched with muted horror as a slow understanding smile crossed his features and he came to sit beside me on my bed.
“What I say now is truth. This is fact.”
At his tone I quirked an eyebrow to express my bemusement.
“Fact. You are emotionally retarded. Fact. He is a romantic. Fact. You really, really like him. Fact. You are still unsure as to whether you want to be with him. This you need to figure out by the way or you are never going to get anywhere. Fact. If he falls for you, he’ll fall hard. Fact. If you ever hurt him, the rest of us will come down upon you like hungry wolves ready to devour a little lost lamb…”
I was momentarily distracted by that analogy and as a result I almost missed the next part.
“Fact. To me it is obvious that you care about him. Fact. To me it is obvious that you respect and appreciate him as a person. Fact. To me it is obvious that you’re in love with him.”
I was floored…. In Love…?
“Now this may come as a shock Hyung, but sometimes it takes fresh eyes looking at a situation to see things that previously remained hidden. I can tell that you think you are unsure, your mind and your heart are no doubt pulling you in opposite directions. However, you must understand that from an outsider’s point of view, when you look at him your entire demeanor changes, it softens.”
I was still staring at him in shock; my poor plushie was being strangled in my death grip though.
“Just though you might want to know.”
And with that he patted me on the head, as if I were a child and practically skipped out of the room. I had a brief flash of irritation at his dismissive and disrespectful behaviour but it soon disappeared with the weight of his earlier words.
I had scarcely thought it possible.
In the beginning we weren’t all that close. I disliked you for the simple fact that you seemed to be able to get along with everybody and that irritated me. I couldn’t do that. I had to work at myself to better fit in. I intensely disliked having to ‘try’ and keep myself in check and I often strayed from my good intentions but my drive to succeed, to debut, burned at me more than anything and if I had to sacrifice a small part of myself in order to do that then that was what I would do.
I made no secret of the fact that I didn’t like you and yet you stayed by my side and suddenly I came to rely on your presence. You wormed your way into my favour and proceeded to make yourself quite at home there.
I discovered that I didn’t mind all that much.
Then he came.
I tried to dislike him but I couldn’t. He was too cute and yet he had something, something underneath, something that glittered in his eyes. He was smart and I reckoned he could be ruthless too. I somewhat admired him for that; for what I could see in his character.
More and more you were in his company. I tired not to mind. You were you after all and you would never want the new kid to feel uncomfortable or left out. But I did mind.
You weren’t at my side as much anymore. You didn’t lean against me when you were tired. You leant against him. I watched as on more then one occasion his arm wrapped around you possessively and I felt something deep inside of me twinge at the mere sight of his hands on you.
You were mine.
And yet you were growing more and more indifferent. You no longer sought out my audience or my approval. It saddened me somewhat.
I had come to think of you as more then just a friend. You were SungMin and you were mine and yet now our bond, the bond that you had formed through sheer determination, was slowly unraveling and you didn’t even seem to care.
Prompt: Once Bitten, Twice Shy
Comment: Kinda long drabble…I dunno if it matches up with the prompt well…I can see the connection because I wrote it but….*shrug*
KangIn was never one to admit to things that made him seem vulnerable. He never wanted anyone to see that side of him. He was KangIn, he was power and strength; he was whole just as he was.
So it was a huge deal for him to admit that he wanted to be in someone else’s company. It was a massive deal for him to admit, to himself, that he wanted to be with this other person, despite the fact that he was close to freaking out every time he thought about it because this other, this one he wanted to be with more and more, was a friend….was a boy.
KangIn didn’t quite know how to conduct himself. If he rushed in all loud and brash like he does with everything else, he knew he would lose his favour and more then likely scare him off.
So for a little while somewhere in the middle of everything, things were strained and silences were uncomfortable. It continued until KangIn just couldn’t take it anymore and pushed his younger against the wall of the hallway, kissed him breathless and then stepped back in shock. For a split second it seemed like he wanted to say something but for whatever reason words failed him and he walked away without uttering a word.
He never saw the slow smile that passed over the object of his affection’s face.
KangIn got what he desired in the end and for the first time in his life he felt like everything was just right. He wasn’t good and romantic things and he was always a big believer of the fact that actions speak louder then words and so he relied on them to convey his feelings to his lover.
So when he walked into the room to see his lover wrapped in the arms of another he felt his heart shatter. His throat constricted almost painfully and he was unable to scream or shout, he was unable to say anything at all. Tears fell though and he brushed them away with anger that he couldn’t voice.
He dropped the gift he had been holding tightly in his hands. The tiny box suddenly lay prostrate on the timbered floor and KangIn watched with sad eyes as his lover jerked at the sound and stared at him with a wild expression.
KangIn didn’t wait to hear excuses, he didn’t think his heart could take it because despite the aura he gave out, the fact remained that he was just a man in the end.
He was just a man and now his heart was broken.
It wasn’t until the next day that KangIn felt he had gotten his breath back. He opened his front door and it swiftly left him again.
There stood his lover, his hair rumpled, his dark eyes rimmed with red.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
KangIn didn’t understand.
Suddenly the gift he had spent hours searching for was thrust under his nose. He could see the sparkle of the plain silver band, that was neither too thick nor too thin, and his own handwriting.
’I love you’
KangIn shrugged, “I didn’t want to get hurt. I wanted to wait until I was sure. I got hurt anyways so what does it matter.”
“I don’t want to know. I don’t want to hear any excuses.”
KangIn watched as his lover deflated visibly in front of him.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“How could you not know!? Every time I kissed you could you not feel it!? Every time we made love, how could you not feel just how much I was in love with you!? Please leave.”
KangIn heard his voice crack and he could feel more tears coming and he wanted to save what was left of his dignity.
HyukJae stepped away from the door way, his remorse and his guilt evident in his stance and in his eyes; his fingers clutching at the card and the ring that had been bought with such love. KangIn closed the door and leaned against it heavily, his knees giving out and he slid to the floor.
He vowed that he would never ever open his heart to anyone ever again. Not when after all the years of protecting himself, he finally allows himself to feel and it feels like his heart has been ripped out.
Title: Play with me?
Prompt: Living Expenses [emotional]
I groaned as I heard the low whine. I glared at him from over the top of the magazine that I was trying to read but not doing very successfully. He was driving me nuts. Normally it wasn’t so bad; I don’t know what is wrong with him today.
“What?” I all but snapped.
“Then play with yourself.”
His eyebrows quirked and a slow smile spread across his face. I didn’t pay him anymore attention and turned back to my magazine, I figured it was DongHae, he was weird and it was best for my own sanity not to try and unravel him.
Sometimes DongHae seriously left me reeling. He was spacey and strange and whiney and he left the toothpaste out all the time and never closed any cupboard doors and it irritated me to no end.
I was finally getting into an article, paying no attention to the other person in the room who was being unusually quiet. That should have piqued my attention but I took it as another random DongHae thing.
A low moan curled in the air around me and I felt my eye twitch. I was determined not to pay him any attention. I heard some rustling and then another groan and it sent a spasm down my spine. I slowly lowered my magazine so it lay resting in my lap and against my better judgment I looked up.
The first thing I saw was the contorted look of pure pleasure displayed on his features. My breath caught in the throat and my eyes wandered down and I couldn’t contain the gasp that escaped me when I caught sight of his heavy, rigid sex, glistening with the evidence of his desire. He fisted it lazily, his mouth open and panting and his eyes at half mast as he watched me watching him.
“I…I…what are you doing?” I whispered.
He smirked, “Taking your advice Hyung?”
“Playing with myself.”
His tone was teasing and his eyes crinkled with his laughter but his hand did not stop moving.
“This is fun but I can think of certain things that would make it so much better.”
His eyes beckoned me over to him and the next thing I knew I was standing over him, I couldn’t even remember moving.
As I leant down to claim him I couldn’t help but think that DongHae wrecks havoc over my control, over my emotions, over everything. He drives me to distraction but he is DongHae and despite everything, I wouldn’t want him any other way.
He was mine.
Prompt: Independence, Tell me lies
Comments: Shiwon/? you decide…though I thinks its pretty obvious who I wrote it with in mind.
I watch you with him. You’re clingy and whiny and…cute… Your dimples are adorable and your ‘tantrums’ never fail to make me smile. I can see why he likes having you around. You complement each other. Your heart is too big, you want to love; he wants to be loved, even though he sometimes tries to hide it.
But you aren’t a child anymore. I doubt you ever really were one, the way we are all forced to grow up – it goes part in parcel with our ‘celebrity status’. You have pulled away from us, from all of us. It’s very subtle and if you aren’t looking for it one would never have noticed. But I’m always watching, even when it seems like I’m not.
You’ve grown immensely in the past couple of years. Now you really shine. You spend weeks….months…overseas without us. You always call and write emails but I know its not that you need us it’s more that you know that he needs you.
You know he does; the one that waits diligently for you call; the one that brightens when he hears your voice on the other end of the line.
You know he needs you. He is the first person you greet as you walk back into the apartment after being away for ‘so’ long. You wrap him up in your arms and keep him close all night.
I know that you see it in his eyes. I know you see him begging you to lie to him.
Because he knows that he needs you and he knows that if you walk away…
…He would rather have lies.
Prompt: Filth in the beauty.
I look around me and the world is beautiful. There is the brilliant sky and the radiant sun. There is the primitive silver moonlight and the cooling rain and the gentle winds that stir up the scent of the flowers and make the leaves dance. But behind all this beauty there is filth. The smoke and smog that clog up the atmosphere and turn all colours a sickly shade of grey. There are the wild storms and the lightning and the harsh thunder, sounds of when the world is angry with us. The flowers that smell heavenly wither and die and the leaves that dance with life fall from their homes. Behind every beautiful mask lies a truth buried under layers of filth. A truth that is beautiful despite the filth caked on it. A truth that is ugly despite the facade it hides behind.
Filth in the beauty; there can not be one with out the other.
Maybe I sound harsh but until I met you I never truly understood that. I thought there was a distinct separation between beauty and filth. Looking at you, your pretty smile, your dancing eyes and your beautiful voice it isn’t hard to pretend not to see your ugly side; your harshness on yourself, your obsessions. Every beautiful thing has it flaws.
I am no different. Not that I consider myself beautiful, far from it, but I too have flaws; flaws that can be seen and those that I hide.
Filth and Beauty go hand in hand. Where one is the other is sure to be.
Title: Language of…
Comments: Wah…I stuffed this one up something major – I’m sorry!
I listened to him speak to the girls in English and despite the fact that I only understand, perhaps, every third or forth word, I liked the inflection his voice took. I like the sound of the consonants on his tongue. I liked the harsh, lisp he had when he said anything that started with an ‘S’.
KiBum and I, we aren’t all that close. Maybe it’s because I’m too brash and he’s quiet. Maybe it’s because he is mature and I’m, well, not so mature. Whatever it is, we never really clicked the way we have with others.
Despite what I might say sometimes I know that I am far from perfect. There is no perfect in this world but I think KiBum is pretty awesome. He spent years away from home, in a foreign country; he had to learn the language to not only understand what was going on around him but to also be understood. He had a tough time and it made him stronger….
…but it also made him fragile in a way that I doubt I will ever be.
Communication is key to success in any environment. Speech is one of the easiest ways to get across what you are meaning to another party. There are other forms of communication though.
Ones that I know he has become very proficient in. There is a whole other language that he speaks fluently and it doesn’t matter about your accent or your annunciation.
I watch as he places a gentle hand on another’s forearm. It’s a fleeting touch, the barest of caresses and yet I watch as he is answered with a smile. I’m not as fluent as some in the language of love but I think he just said.
‘I love you’.
When he speaks to me I can’t help but listen. I am not known for following orders or even adhering to ‘suggestions’ but when he asked me to press down harder, I did so. When he moaned and asked me to press deeper, I did so. I reacted almost unconsciously to his honeyed call. When he whimpered against me a shiver ran down my back and I had to bit my lip lest I say something I would regret.
His voice is pleasant, smooth and melodious and I feel slightly ridiculous admitting that to myself but it’s what I think, not that I’ll ever say it aloud. I watch in satisfaction as his face contorts in pleasure and I notice his white knuckled grip on the sheets under him. I love that I can make him feel like this.
His dulcet eyes flicker open and they call to me.
I just can’t seem to refuse.
A/N: Eh...Some of these took me forever o.O Wah...I hope you like them. I think I totally portrayed KangIn incorrectly...forgive me.