nightxwriter (nightxwriter) wrote in miracle______,

Hankyung or Hangeng?

Title: Hankyung or Hangeng?
Pairing: Hangeng/ Heechul ( Not romantically)
This was a piece I wrote a while ago when the Hangengs lawsuit first hit the news
Summary: Heechul misses Hangeng =( bc i was bored. and i miss Hanchul together.

It's been three years. Three years since Han Geng's contract was offically and permanantly terminated from Sm entertainment. For most of the Super Junior members, those three years flew by with interviews, performances, tv shows, and tours. Han geng himself became a very established actor in China.

To the world, it seemed as though Hankyung never existed in Super Junior. But to Kim Heechul, theres no one better fitted for Super Junior than Hangeng. He remembered a few months after the announcement of Hangeng's termination, he made himself believe it was all a terrible nightmare.

Everyday, for months, if it wasn't for Super show performances, he would be locked up in his and Hangeng's old apartment.

He would just sit for hours and stare at absolutely nothing. Hundreds of questions running through his mind. Question he had no answers to. It frustated him to no end.

' Am I the reason he left? Was I too mean? Why did he leave? Was he still Hankyung? Can I still call him that? Or is it Hangeng now?'

He remembered when he first saw Hangeng's first public interview since he had filed the lawsuit, he felt as though he was looking at a different person. A person he never knew. He noticed little things about him on the interview.

' His hair was getting a bit longer. His smile was different, almost forced. The way he spoke was even different. The light in his eyes were different than before.' These things, the unimportant small details, only Kim Heechul noticed.

After a while everything began to get better. Heechul was Heechul again. Hangeng was Hangeng. They were two separate people who had growing up to do.

Almost a year later was when Hangeng was allowed to contact Super Junior members again.

The first thing Heechul asked him simply was ' Why?'

' I wasn't happy anymore.' The truth.

' What?' He was confused. What's not to be happy about? They were a thirteen member band. They were family.

' I've always been sick. But I stayed. I wanted nothing more than to be part of this family. I knew about the unfairness of the contract. But I never wanted to leave.'

'Then why did you?' He didn't understand.

' The reason why I loved being in Super Junior was because we were almost always together. Or most of us were. But after the sub groups , individual activites, and everything, we were hardly ever together. Being with everyone was my motivation, my reason to endure anything coming my way. But then, we were rarely ever together, we were always missing members. Then it got to the point to where I was hardly with everyone on shows, because I was in another country working by myself. And when I was working away from everyone, even though I was surrounded by millions of people, I still felt all alone.'

'I still don't understand...'

' After going back to Korean to see the other members, the feelings never changed. I still felt lonely. '

He finally understood. It was true. Everyone had changed very much. They weren't ever together as a thirteen member band anymore. He himself was one that rarely appeared with the rest. He realized that Hangeng had lost his reason to keep fighting. Hangeng didn't see the reason to fight anymore, to endure the torture of being an idol celebrity.

Before he knew what was happening, he felt tears trailing down his face, and strong arms encircling him in a hug. Reality hit him hard. Everyone was changing. Growing up and maturing.

They couldn't be a band forever.

Then Hangeng whispered into Heechul's ear as though he had said his thoughts out loud.

" We can't be a band forever, but will always be Super Junior forever. Just 13elieve."

Tags: !to review

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