side characters: Donghae, Kibum, Eunhyuk, Zhoumi, Luna, Aliee, Yunho
Genre: PG-13 (will vary as the story progress)
Summary: in which one is born with a Congenital heart malformation, choosing to drown in a self-created world of agony and despair, counting down his remaining days in life, while the other was back-stabbed by life countless times yet is being the beating source of happiness to everyone in his life…
Life was no longer a dreamy existence, everything changed after that day, on the mere time interval of 48 hours, I realized I was no longer confused when it comes to what I really felt toward Yesung, everything happened so quickly and in a minute we were engaged in a freshly written prologue of the first chapter of whatever was yet to happen between us, and on the next minute the harsh reality rushed all the way from the dark past slapping my dreams and hopes of a nearly perfect life with someone I was undeniably destined to fall for, across the face. It hurts… and it sucks! And even through my every cell wanted to deny all the accusations against my beloved, enemy? Reality was way harsher than anything I can ever think of.
I felt my entire body in fire, was it rage or anger? Well, no… it was fever…
"its okay, you just need to lay down, stop thinking of whatever making you sulk since yesterday and get some sleep, I will make you some porridge when you wake up, its your usual nap time anyway." Aliee said, making sure my back rested against the cold mattress and pulled the cover up to my chin.
"am so mentally occupied to sleep noona, this is not helping." I started sweating despite the cold mattress and the cold temperature of the room.
"you will be fine if you keep sweating, it’s a good sign, plus you just got your medication, I bet it will make you drift to sleep… and" she then crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at me. "you can just say that your so desperately in love with the oh-my-heart-hurts dude, no need to act love-sick, I bet he will get his butt into here in no time…"
My inside splitted into million layer of agony.
"he might do that, if he really did show up, just tell him I went to the countryside with Kibum."
"lovers fight?" she asked, grinning.
"no….. and noona am tired, maybe the medicine's effect started working coz I feel my limbs giving up, I will try and get some sleep." I said, before turning to the side, my back facing her.
I closed my eyes and heard her sighing before she slowly walked away, turned the lights off and left the room.
There was no pain killer in the entire universe which is effective enough to shut up the groans of pain and betrayal echoing in my insides…
''He was suffering from a severe nervous breakdown''
'' Yesung was aware of the affair his mother had with Mr. Choi KiHo''
'' rather than hatred, Yesung, in contrast, used to hold intense feeling of filiation towards his mother''
'' when his parents started drifting apart slowly, and the affair was known to almost everyone''
''''he caught them''
'' nothing could have been done, he shoot your dad and assaulted his mom'
'' I see the two of you growing so close to one another… please son… you need to stop this before it hurts you more than what you can ever recover from ''
I squeezed my eyes shut as the painful facts were defending me.
I felt lost, and at this point, nothing was defined, nothing…
''what shall I do? What shall I NOT do? Did my deep feelings towards him change? Is there a chance that all the accusations might be wrong? What if he was really mentally unconscious of his actions? What if he wasn't in his right mind when he committed that crime? What if he knew am the son of that man? What if he thinks am here to take revenge? Did all the confessions and promises were just a big lie? Shall I tell noona about this? Kibum? Does Donghae know anything about this? Will an answer of any kind bring me back me father? Revive my mother? Bring our family back together? Compensate for the agony I and noona have been through?''
questions like those, were left hanging in the air… I had no power, no heart to get to make any decision of any kind…
It seems that the medicines, did have a side effect after all.. I fell asleep without noticing, and when I woke up I saw KiBum sitting next to my bed with his palms on his face…
"Bum-ah…." I called, slowly raising from my laying position to sit, leaning my back to the headboard.
His hands dropped to his thighs and I felt uneasy as his face looked so pale..
"hey, are you okay?'' I started to worry, he was kind of shivering.
"that….'' And he pointed to the pile of papers on my desk at the other corner of the room.
''is that for real?'' he asked, horrified and I closed my eyes before letting a deep sigh.. at least one of my questions have an answer…. I didn't have to tell KiBum.. he found out about it himself…
''what if?...." he looked at his palms, asking me about ''its scripted? What if his mother did this to break us guys apart?'' for the nth time on the past half an hour.
''everything is possible…''
''why are you so calm?''
''this is more sickening..''
''what do you want me to do?''
''shoot him back? I don't know.. SAY SOMETHING!!''
''we…'' and I lowered me head. ''kind of… got together.. the day… before I was told… about… the murder''
''got together???'' he asked, his tone stiff.
I looked up at him.
''we decided to give it a try Kibum… ''
''a chance to fall in love, maybe?''
''funny!'' he laughed dryly. ''as if its unexpected, even your sister knew there was something you two were hiding…'' he then rose up from the chair. ''am not sure though as to how is she going to react if she found out her dear brother is head over heels for her father's murdered.''
''CAN YOU STOP PRESSURING ME, DO YOU THINK AM HAPPY WITH THE NEW REVEALED FACTS?''
''no! your not, but your so coward to go confront your dear boyfriend and interrogate him, too bad, his poor broken heart won't handle your harsh words but is stern enough to murder a poor man with two kids and a wife.''
''my dad was having an affair with his mom Kibum…''
''yeah I was there when your mom committed suicide after she found out about the shocking truth… I guess its quite obvious now… why your boyfriend's mother is so into you?''
I felt my chest tightening.
Kibum cupped his face in anger.
''but what? You love him? You can't bring yourself to go hear the real story from him? You will act as your usual idiotically noble self and finish the commitment you have with the Kims before you pack your bags and leave…. Just like that?''
''do you want me to take a revenge from someone i… ''
''someone you love? Well, revenge won't bring your dad back, or re-gather your family around, but you deserve to know the truth so that you won't despise him more than you should actually do.''
I didn't realize my tears were wetting my cheeks until I felt Kibum pulling me into his arms… I felt my body drenched in cold ice then thrown off of a cliff…
''I can't…. just…. Erase everything with a press of a button…''
''its still newly born… that whatever thing you two feel for one another… you should suffocate the life out of it and bury it before it kills you hyung… we…. Need to know the truth….''
I need to know the truth…
To be rational…
To lock my feelings deep down…
And halt any devilish ideas of revenge..
'' I need to see you….'' I texted him, the moment Kibum left my place..
''Oh God… Siwon….'' He circled my arms, the moment I walked out of my room to greet him…. I was still feverish… but then, ironically, the feverish need to hold him was stronger than the one burning down my blood veins…
I pulled him away slowly as Aliee's eyes landed on us the moment she walked out of the kitched with two mugs of …
''coffee…'' she smiled while handing him a mug.
''th…ank you…'' he smiled awkwardly…
Noona left us alone without me asking her to.. I think it was obvious… just like what Kibum said that….
''I missed you…'' he said, interrupting my thoughts with a grip on my left hand as we seated on the couch in the living room.
He then placed his palm on my forhead.
''you should've told me that your sick, I would have nursed you around…''
I smiled at the craziness of it all..
''am fine, its just a fever.. noona is so good at keeping me healthy, you don't have to worry…'' I said, avoiding his gaze.
He then placed two fingers on my chin and turned me face to look at him… he looked … I don't know? Tired? Pale? Worried?
''never fall sick again… whose gonna grant my wishes if you did?'' he then traced his fingers on my cheek and I shivered at the contact..
''is that all what matters? Me, granting your wishes?'' I felt unreasonably hurt… was he bad at comforting? Or did Kibum words had magical effects on messing me up more than I already was..
''don't be silly….'' He said with a smile, pinching my cheek lightly.
We spent some time in my room, and am glad… I hidden the papers given to me by Assistant Soo before the drama continues, it was still too early for him to find out.. what he might have never forgotten…
He roamed around my room before he landed in bed next to me, I swallowed my pills and he handed me some water… he then grabbed a framed picture from the side table of my bed and stared at it…
''are these your parents?'' he asked curiously and I felt…. I felt my stomach groaning..
''y…yes…'' I observed his facial expression as his eyes were locked on the picture.. he didn't give any abnormal reaction upon seeing my dad's face…
Does this rise up the possibility that he really… was innocent from all the accusations?
''Siwon…?'' he called softly and I looked at him…
''your father is really handsome.. he has warm features.. now I know who did you took after..'' he said with a smile before brushing the brown strands of my hair..
''ye..ah.. everyone says that…''
''everyone as in your ex-lovers?'' he asked and I was taken aback..
''Which lovers? Why do you insist that am quite experienced at relationships… before you there wasn't anyone…'' then I held his hand… hesitantly….''I told you I don't want to have anyone aside from you… no one after you…''
He smiled shyly.
''why do you take things so seriously? When I first met you, the first thing that caught my attention was your sense of humor…''
I smiled at that..
''you were quite observant back then? I thought I creeped you out..''
''well yeah….'' He teased. '' but I let it pass, its not like I will run into a handsome creeper quite often…''
I didn't know what kind of guts made me circle his waist, pulling him closer..
I pressed my face against his mass of hair..
''hmmmm…'' he whispered, I felt his palms pressing gently against my chest..
''your never gonna fail me, right?'' I asked… feeling my fragile self, ready to break at any moment..
''me?.... never.. I know you won't either….'' He then pulled back slightly, he caressed my face and I felt like an idiot as I was ready to cry…
Isn't love meant to strengthen us?
Why did I feel so weak at his presence…
''the fever is not doing you any good.. ''
''just stay still.. I want to have you around…. Please…'' I begged… I have no idea why did I beg…
''am not going anywhere baby.. am here…''
All I managed to feel afterward is numbness..
When his soft pair of lips brushed against mine…
Everything else in the world was invisible and non-existent..
Everything was a bliss…
End of POV
A.N: I wasn't supposed to end the chapter here, but then again, me, myself isn't ready for the drama that will come after, so this chapter is like a brief BREAK ahead of time to what is YET to come next..
Final exams are to kick off in 3 weeks, I will do my best to update at least 2-3 chapters until then..
Sorry for the lame update but I believe it was needed… in a way…