Title: It's the humming
Length: 1,107 words
Summary: Kyuhyun thinks Ryeowook is an alien, but no one believes him.
That was it. That was exactly it. Ryeowook was an alien. There was no other way to explain how the boy lived on little to no sleep, hummed all the time and still managed to be incredibly cheerful at the end of the day. Assuming Ryeowook had an end of the day, what with the never going to sleep.
"You're staring at me again," Ryeowook said, cheerfully. And he wasn't even looking at Kyuhyun. He had his back turned, hunched over that keyboard that must've been his alien communication device, and yet he could tell that Kyuhyun was staring.
"No I'm not," Kyuhyun said, blinking and turning back to his computer.
"If you say so," Ryeowook sang out. He hit a few keys and nodded at the result, though what that was Kyuhyun couldn't fathom thanks to the industrial size headphones perched on Ryeowook's small head.
It was the perfect explanation.
You're totally right, Kyuhyun typed, sending the instant message to his friend. He's definitely an alien.
...I was kidding, came the reply.
But you're totally right.
"Kyuhyunnie, have you been sleeping enough?" Sungmin asked when Kyuhyun shared this information with him.
"No," Kyuhyun said. "I keep hearing him. Humming. Why does he hum so much? What's it for? Is he hypnotising us so we'll do his bidding?"
"Maybe... Maybe you need to sleep more," Sungmin said soothingly, trying to get Kyuhyun to go to bed.
"I need to talk to an expert," Kyuhyun announced.
"Like... a sleep specialist?"
"No, an expert on aliens. Duh." Kyuhyun gave Sungmin a look that expressed severe disappointment for not keeping up with the conversation. Sungmin gave Kyuhyun a look that expressed immense concern for his mental health.
"I'm not crazy," he told Sungmin, before wandering off to find Donghae.
"Aliens are from outer space."
Even as high strung as he felt, Kyuhyun couldn't help his tone of sarcasm. Still, it was his fault for coming to Donghae when he needed an expert on aliens. What had he been thinking?
"I mean, they're not from Earth, so they wouldn't do Earth things, like gravity."
Kyuhyun wondered if perhaps Donghae had played one too many game with a toy hammer in someone else's hand. He tried to remember if Donghae had always been such a space case. No pun intended
"I bet aliens talk using music."
Kyuhyun pricked up his ears. "Like, humming?"
"I was thinking like that Steven Spielberg movie, but I guess humming works too."
"Donghae," Kyuhyun grabbed Donghae and shook him. "Thank you!"
And then he ran off to buy a tape recorder and lots and lots of tape.
"Why do you keep following me around with that thing?" Ryeowook asked.
"What thing?" Kyuhyun asked innocently, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"That tape recorder. It makes a really loud whirring sound as it records. You can get digital recorders these days, you know."
Kyuhyun boggled at yet more evidence that Ryeowook was an alien. The whirring sound of the recorder was barely perceptible – he had to hold it to his ear to hear it. How did Ryeowook, at the other end of the room, manage to pick it up?
"I'm on to you!" he shouted as Ryeowook was about to leave the room. "I know what you are!"
"Why, Kyuhyunnie... Whatever do you mean?" Ryeowook asked, eyes wide and innocent. He hummed as he left the room, and Kyuhyun nearly dropped the recorder trying to record it.
"What are you muttering about?" Yehsung asked Kyuhyun.
"Shhh!" Kyuhyun tapped his pen against the table, then quickly wrote something down.
"One C equals attention, C E equals urgent message, High A equals question mark, question mark, question mark," Yehsung read off Kyuhyun's notes. "What's this?"
"Shhh!" Kyuhyun pressed his headphones to his ears and closed his eyes. To anyone else, Ryeowook's humming would've sounded like a catchy new tune, but he knew better. If he was right, Ryeowook was reporting that some humans were easily distracted by the presence of pie.
"Sungmin told me about your theory," Yehsung said.
"It's true," Kyuhyun told him.
"That may be so, but have you ever considered the possibility that your recent obsession with Ryeowook might stem from the fact that he looks very nice in his new haircut?"
"What?" Kyuhyun pulled off his headphones.
"Wookie looks very cute these days, doesn't he?"
Kyuhyun stood up suddenly. "He's brainwashed you. It's the humming. You can't let yourself listen to it for too long."
"Then stop listening to it and take him out for dinner." Yehsung dragged Kyuhyun away from his desk and pushed him into a surprised Ryeowook's arms. "Go out for dinner. Have fun. Make out or something."
"Hyung!" Kyuhyun gasped in shock even as Yehsung shoved them into an elevator and hit the button for the ground floor.
"We're not making out," Kyuhyun informed Ryeowook.
"I know, you've said that five times already."
"Well it bears repeating."
Ryeowook pouted, and Kyuhyun immediately regretted making his mind up about not making out with Ryeowook quite so hastily. He tried to remind himself that Ryeowook was an alien, an alien with really pretty eyelashes and incredible hair.
"Whatever it is, I'm hungry," Ryeowook said. "Can we go eat?"
"What do you eat? Livestock? Babies?"
"No," Ryeowook giggled, as though Kyuhyun had just made a really funny joke. "Oh, you. Let's go in here, it looks good." And with that, Kyuhyun found himself dragged into a pleasant enough restaurant and seated in a small booth for two, with Ryeowook pressed against his side.
"Cosy," Ryeowook purred, looking over the menu.
"We're not making out." Ryeowook was an alien, an alien that smelt like vanilla and citrus.
"We'll start with some of your house wine," Ryeowook told the waiter. "And chocolate strawberries, please."
"I thought you said you were hungry," Kyuhyun said.
"Mmm, but I think what we need some chocolate strawberries, don't you?"
Ryeowook was an alien, even if his fingers tasted like chocolate and strawberries and his lips like peach, and his skin like clean silk.
"We're not making out," Kyuhyun said huskily, panting as he kissed a trail along the outline of Ryeowook's shoulder blades.
Ryeowook arched luxuriously under Kyuhyun and pushed back against his hips.
"No, we're definitely past that."
Ryeowook opened his eyes.
"DNA sample acquisition complete, now uploading raw data."
"What?" Kyuhyun asked blearily, tightening his arms around Ryeowook's waist.
"Nothing, go back to sleep," Ryeowook whispered, pressing his lips against Kyuhyun's forehead. Kyuhyun sighed and nuzzled Ryeowook's neck, and Ryeowook waited till he heard Kyuhyun's breathing slow before he closed his eyes.
And started humming.