Comments: Random OT3 angst, Sungmin-centric. :3
Notes: Sungmin does speak in 3rd person sometimes. Title/LJ cut are lyrics from Copeland’s No One Really Wins
In a fight between my heart and mind
I don't want to win this time
It was mid-evening as Sungmin walked along the empty street. The wind had died down an hour ago, but he tightened the scarf around his neck. He could still felt the chill in his bones and it made him ache. Glancing around, he wondered where he was because he had been walking for a long time. His legs were stiff and they were moving forward by themselves.
A taxi honked at him and he almost jumped out of his skin. He looked quickly just as the window rolled down. It was Kangin. His head snapped back to staring at his feet as he walked, pretending not to have noticed.
“Where are you going?” Kangin asked plainly, an arm out the window.
Sungmin didn’t look at him. “Somewhere important.”
“Ah.” A pause. “Care to let me know where?”
For a brief moment he felt like saying ‘no’, but he knew it wasn’t appropriate. Just as he opened his mouth to give him a random destination, Kangin interrupted with, “It’s getting dark. I’ll take you home.”
Sungmin found himself in the backseat of the taxi, next to Kangin, and wondered why. He vaguely remembered that his objective was to stay far away from the residence. Frantic, he moved to remove his seatbelt but was disrupted by an accusing finger pointed at his face.
“You were trying to run away again, weren’t you!” Kangin exclaimed suddenly.
It surprised him. He never called it running away. It was just… “Sungmin wasn’t feeling well,” he said frankly.
“You should be practical,” Kangin said finally. He was speaking in his authoritarian tone again.
“But Sungmin is. He tries his best.” He shifted in his seat, the seatbelt too tight. Inaudibly he added, “I always come home.”
Outside, he saw a piece of the crescent moon in the sky.
His breath made a cloud on the window.
At home, Sungmin was careful in baking the cookies. He put more time into stirring and made sure that they didn’t burn in the oven. He walked into the living area, plate in hand, and stopped to hand Kangin and Eeteuk their special heart-shaped cookies.
“Thank you,” Eeteuk said, smiling. Kangin leaned over to munch on the cookie laying on Eeteuk’s palm.
Sungmin watched them quietly from the kitchen as he washed the dishes. Blowing up his cheeks, he concentrated on the water as it whirlpooled. His chest hurt a bit as it drained rapidly down the sink.