Fandom: Super Junior
Genre/Pairing: AU, Mpreg / Siwon x Kyuhyun, Kid!2min, Zhoumi
Word Count: 1,170
Disclaimer: na-ah, not mine
Summary: Minho meets his parents' best friend
Notes: Now shush pinku_kireru
Set in the same verse with Hey, Baby?, Hey, Daddy?, HIMYM, 24/7, Hey, Mommy, Turbulence, Boyfriend & Happy Birthday Mommy
"Oooooh my Gooooooood!" The tall, skinny person squealed in a high-pitched tone and pinched his cheek. Minho wanted to scrunch his face but he held it in. His Daddy once told him that scrunching his face was impolite, and Minho was NOT an impolite boy. "Oh God, oh God, Kuixian, your baby has grown so much! The photos didn't do him justice!"
"Your loss for never visiting us, Mi," his Mommy smiled. "Is Europe really that fun?"
"Are you kidding me, Kuixian? Do you even see my fabulous clothes? Where do you even think I got them from? If I have to buy them here, I will go broke in an instant. Oh, God, can I hold him?" But the skinny person didn't even wait for approval from anyone and scooped Minho into his arms before carrying him up. "How come you're so cute! Oh, you look so much like Shiyuan!"
Minho shifted uncomfortably. Mommy had told him this person was a Chinese but it still felt strange to hear his parents' name like that. Sometimes his Mommy even talked with him in Chinese as well and Minho really, really hated not being able to understand because he was supposedly a smart boy. And he was a big boy now, too big to be carried like a baby, but the person's arms around him were too tight he couldn’t wriggle free.
"What’s your name, little boy~?" the man asked in a tone that told Minho he already knew, but he asked anyway just for the sake of babying him. Seriously, Minho was too grown up to not notice such things!
"Be good to Zhoumi," his Mommy chided him lightly as he walked towards the kitchen and Minho realized he hadn't responded. Not like he intended to respond in any way, but then his Mommy would be angry at him and he would never want that.
"Minho. Choi Minho," he finally answered and getting a nod of approval from his Mommy who disappeared to get some drinks for them.
"Smart booooooooooooy!" As suspected, Zhoumi babied him further and mashed their cheeks together.
"Let me go..." Minho requested, as polite as possible.
"I would never let you go. Ugh, I want to kidnap you! Can I ask your Mommy to let you stay with me during this weekend?"
The little boy quickly shook his head. "I can't, I have a date with my boyfriend."
Zhoumi laughed, "Oh God and you already have a boyfriend?? You're popular just like your mother. Well, maybe your father too but I don’t know him as long as I know your mother. But with that kind of face, yeah. Luckily your father is just too much in love with your mother to notice anyone else."
Despite the long and meaningless rant, Minho couldn't help it-- a smile began to grow on his face. He always loved it when other people say how much his parents were in love with each other. It assured him that his parents would never, ever get a dee-force-- a sad word he learned a while back when his Mommy and Daddy were fighting. He blinked, trying to get rid of that awful memory. "Thank you, Auntie."
Zhoumi's wide grin disappeared. "What did you just call me?"
"Auntie," Minho tilted his head, didn't understand why the tall person looked so surprised.
"Hey!" Zhoumi frowned, (finally) putting him back on his feet and stood back up. He crossed his arms and stared down at him. "You should call me Uncle!!"
Minho blinked again. Zhoumi narrowed his eyes. "I am a man."
"Hey! I know!" Minho looked offended, as if his intelligence was questioned. Besides, Zhoumi was far from looking like a girl. "But-but you remind me of the Auntie next door, the Umma of my boyfriend. He wears colorful clothes like you and he treats Taeminie like a baby. Well, Taeminie is a baby but he is also a cute, big kid..."
But Zhou Mi stopped listening to the words after the words 'look like the Auntie'. "Oh yeah?" He taunted. "You think I look like an Auntie?"
Minho blinked, sensing something coming up but didn't quite know what to expect.
“I'll prove to you I'm worthy to be called Uncle." Zhoumi's expression changed and in a fleeting moment he recalled his Daddy saying he never wanted to mess with Zhoumi. Once he got scolded so badly by Zhoumi because he left his Mommy alone due to a business trip when Minho was still a baby. But Minho still didn't think he do or say anything wrong, so he had no reason to be afraid… right?
"I will show you I'm an Uncle," Zhoumi continued and patted the front of his pants. "This thing right here will make you so jealous because all you have now is a much smaller version."
Minho pouted and glared at the tall man. He was still growing, okay! He knew he would get as big as his Daddy in time! He took in the skinny figure and was convinced there was no way his peepee would be as big as Daddy's--.
"There," Zhoumi grinned as he finished unzipping his pants. "Believe me now?"
"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Mommy's voice rang out and all of a sudden he was already standing furiously behind Zhoumi. He was holding a teaspoon which probably was used to stir the coffee but had gained another purpose: to hit Zhoumi's head repeatedly.
"OWW!" Zhoumi yelped and hurriedly ducked to escape Kyuhyun's further wrath.
"What are you, Siwon?? Uninhibitedly flashing your dick?? Or are you a pedo!?"
"What? No!" Zhoumi pouted and zipped his pants back up before rubbing the back of his head pitifully. "Your boy just called me Auntie and I wanted to show him that oh, boy, my dick is far from an Auntie's."
"You shameless creep! You're hanging around Siwon too much!! One day I will have both of your dicks cut off!!!"
"OWW! Stop hitting me!!"
Minho was barely aware of the scene before him. His mouth was still ajar, shocked.
Later that night, far after Zhoumi had gone home, Daddy came home early and took a bath with him. Siwon noticed that Minho kept on staring at his junior and he grinned, reminded of the time when his son suddenly asked if he could be as big as his Daddy later. Bath time was truly father and son bonding time, in Siwon’s opinion.
“Daddy…” Minho muttered when they were done, Siwon just finished drying Minho’s hair and the boy was currently drying his own body with another towel.
“Yes, Minho?” Siwon flashed out a fatherly smile, preparing himself for another set of reassurance that Minho would grow up as big as him, definitely.
"Daddy, you're not that big," Minho huffed. "When I grow up, I want my peepee to be as big as Auntie's instead."
Then Minho walked away, leaving his father gaping for a whole five seconds before he shouted. "Who is Auntie??"