Pairing: Um, a lot.
Genre: Comedy, CRACK
Note: PW is lazy and said I could post this wherever I wanted, since she's lazy.
PW and I took a creative writing course this summer and since today was the last day, PW wrote a very nice SuJu story to commemorate. I'm posting because she's lazy. I didn't edit the story, so don't look at me.
Please keep a few things in mind:
1) She's ESL. Hardcore
2) All of the SuJu & TVXQ nicknames come into play. (Nokuri, tokki, etc.)
3) CRACKITY CRACK CRACK
Princess’ servant: HanKyoung
Micky Mouth: YuChun
Fairy Queen: JaeJoon
Fairy King: YunHo
Prince’s servant: RyeoWook
Knight Typhoon: Typhoon
Typhoon’s wife: Rose
Little Girl: DongHae
Monkey Doll: EunHyuk
Once upon a time, there was a peaceful kingdom. Even though the king was mean, stupid, and childish, he had the kindest queen who saved him from being a raccoon, so he just did whatever nice things she told him to.
The king and the queen had a daughter with shining curly red hair, big dark eyes, and bad, hyper temper like her father. There were a lot of brave men who came to ask her to marry them, but were all beaten until they were handicapped. The only man who could stand her was her servant from China.
One day, the princess and her servant went on a trip to Seoul to shop for more pretty dresses. They had a good time until the princess tried on her 80th dress in the dressing room. A devil with straight hair, tiny long eyes, and big face popped out in the purple smoke. “Dude, what are you doing here you ugly creature?” The princess asked.
“ I work for the most powerful witch, Child Prodigy, and I’m going to arrest you for being so beautiful,” the devil answered.
"No~~ don’t you touch me with your dirty hands!! Somebody help me!!” With an explosion sound, the devil and the princess were gone when the servant broke through the door…
In a dark, humid room, the princess was tied on the wall, facing the witch who kidnapped her and was holding a cup noodles in her hands. “ Let me go you fat ass!! If my dad finds about this, he will kick you into a black hole!!” The princess yelled.
“Wu~~ I’m scared…muhahahaha!” The evil witch laughed at the poor little princess, “Don’t be silly, I’m going to exchange you with your dad’s kingdom. What did you think that I kidnapped you for?”
Looking at the princess’ bending forehead, the witch brought out a cage with a giant rat in it. “ Go, Micky Mouth! Show her what a real horror is!” The huge, fuzzy memo crawled close to the helpless girl.
“No! Go away! You stink!!”
“Sh…don’t worry. I’m a spy from the greatest wizard who just returned from California and we are going to save you,” the rat whispered to the princess. A green light shot in from the window, and a gorgeous young wizard showed up in the room!
“Let her go, you bad witch. Don’t make me hurt you!”
“How dare your beauty pollute my property?” The witch tried to attack the wizard, but the wizard used his special power—die smile, and the witch died.
Micky Mouth untied the princess, and she thanked him. “You are free to go now,” the wizard told the rat, “but you can have one wish before you leave. Tell me what do you want.”
“Well, I’m in love with a dolphin, but since we are too different, we couldn’t be together. I wish to be a dolphin, too so I can stay with her forever.”
“As your wish,” the wizard did nothing and Micky Mouth disappeared with a bright flashlight. “Now it’s your turn,” the wizard said to the princess, “You can have a wish, too.”
“This is hard for me,” she lowered her head, “because I have more that one thing that I want to do. I want to go home, but I want to eat first. I also miss my cute Chinese servant, but you look so hot that I want to marry you,” the princess glared at the young wizard.
“Ok…I don’t think that I know how to help you…I guess that you have to make your wishes come true on your own.” The wizard soon disappeared.
The princess was all alone and starving. She kept on walking and walking and got into a jungle with giant trees and plants she had never seen. “Are you lost, little girl,” a soft voce came from nowhere.
“Who’s talking? And I’m not a girl! I’m a grown woman," the princess yelled to the air.
“All right! Woman,” a fairy holding a mirror showed up in front of the princess, and for once that she thought someone else was beautiful beside herself, “I’m the queen of the fairies. Can I do anything for you?”
“Yes! I’m very hungry right now. Do you have anything to eat?”
“No, but the Burger King is on top of the palm tree at your left.”
“Oh, thanks,” the princess started climbing the tree…
While waiting for her food, the fairy queen made the princess a cup of coffee and they had a little sweet conversation. “Hey honey, what are you doing here?” Another fairy came into the restaurant. The princess thought he was pretty gorgeous, too.
“Let me introduce to you, this is my husband, the king of the fairies.”
The princess shook hand with the fairy king, “Hey yo! Touch me man! How ya doing?”
“Eh…good…” the fairy king was a little shocked by the Asian princess with a black heart. After introducing herself, the princess found that the fairy queen had eaten her hamburger.
“ What did you do!? Give me my food back!!”
“What are you worried about, I own the store. I can get another one for you free”
“No! I want the one you ate! Give it back!” The princess jumped on the fairy queen and two ladies started fighting each other, so the fairy king found an empty sit to watch…
The princess’ royal servant was so worried after he lost his princess. After asking the residents in Seoul, he found about the evil witch and started looking for the dark castle, but the wizard already destroyed it. The servant was so sad. He walked on the field and didn’t know what to do. Suddenly, he heard the sound of horses running, and then he saw a handsome prince with his servant and knights. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” The prince asked the Chinese servant.
“I lost my princess and I don’t know where to find her.”
“I’m looking for your princess, too, so you can come with me.”
“Wait, why are you looking for my princess?”
“Of course it’s because I want to marry her!”
“But she won’t,” one of the knight said, the Chinese servant recognized him as the knight of Typhoon who used to play with his little princess, “cause she’s in love with me!”
“So you are cheating on me again, huh?” The lady behind the knight of Typhoon asked.
“Oh no! I didn’t know you came, too, honey!!”
“Too late! Watch my Rose Attack!!”
“Let’s ignore them,” the prince told the Chinese servant and they left the field.
The princess was so pissed off that she ran away from the fairy couple. She walked around in the jungle, and she saw a hunter was trying to shoot a little bunny. “Hold your fire, man!”
“Who? Me? Why?”
“Are you even a human being? Killing a cute bunny. God, that makes me sick!”
“I’m sorry, but I just like to eat bunnies…” the hunter licked his lips."
“Ew!! You pervert! Go away!!” The princess started beating him up that scared the hungry hunter away. After the hunter was no longer in her vision, she walked to the little white bunny.
“You are so cute! I believe that my dad will like you,” and she held the bunny in her arms and took it with her.
Finally, the princess got back to her castle, and she met her Chinese servant and the prince there. The prince soon kneeled down in front of her and was holding an 80 carat diamond, “Would you marry me?”
The princess was shocked that she couldn’t say a word because the prince was the hottest guy she had ever seen!!
“I do!!” The princess replied.
“That’s great then let’s…”
“Wait a second,” the princess said, “I really like my servant, too, so can he come to live with us??”
“Off course! Actually I really like him, too.”
“Oh, forgot to tell you,” the prince gave them a bright smile, “I’m bi.”
* * *
“And three of them lived happily together and ever!” ChangMin closed his laptop, “so did you enjoy the story?”
“Um…oppa, this story really sucks. Do you always read this craps on internet?” On the bed, a little girl holding a monkey doll asked.
“You know what? Just go to sleep!”
If you want to show your appreciation, she wants the preformance version of Miracle (mp3). o_O Apparently it's longer than the album version, or something.
I'll forward her the link later, so she can read you comments and reply if she feels like it.
You see, our teacher read all of today's pieces out loud and I hadn't read it before hand, but when he said "“Well, I’m in--"" I'm yelled "dolphin!" and started cracking up. PW and I got strange looks for the rest of the class XD