June 17th, 2004

ineedsomeone

(no subject)

i feel so alone...nick recently dumped me because he said he was scared of commitment and thought we were getting too serious, after we had been in a serious relationship for over 2 years, i am only 16, but still i felt so safe with him, he was my bestfriend, he still is, he has been my life for so long i dont know what to do, its like a part of me is gone, its like i can't go on, its like my heart has been riped out and stomped on, i can't let go, i dont know how, i guess i am posting for advice on what to do, we live an hour away from each other, i live an hour away from school, i am going to be a senior in high school next year, and i have missed out on so much, and having friendships because i isolated myself to him and only him, i never hung out with anyone but him, and he promised he would never dump me, he promised we would be together forever, he promised we would get married, and i was so stupid and vulnerable that i believed him...now i have learned that friendships are important, and deep down i really want to make some close friendships and just have friends in general, i mean i have acquantices but no one i can really talk to about stuff, and i wish i had that, and now i have realized and learned from my mistake but how do i form those, i mean all my friends live an hour away, i can drive and everything, but i feel like i have missed out, i feel like everyone has already made their little groups and there isnt any room for me....i just cant deal with it, i dont know what to do, i am so lonely, if anyone wants to make a new lj friend, add me, i would love to meet some new people that actually care....