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Life on Pluto? 
03:40am 10/12/2005
mood: cold
I have been banished to the last planet from the sun, along with Conor Oberst and all the other Bright Eyes fans. I have not joined the others in chasing him down and attempting copulation, as I do not find him attractive; I merely enjoy his music. Instead, I have built a fort out of rocks--it doesn't provide much protection from the cold as I had hoped, but at least it gave me something to do. After sitting inside it for a few minutes, I grew bored, as there's not a whole hell of a lot one can do inside a fort made of rocks, so I ventured outside and came across a pair of fanboys who had given up on trying to bed Conor and had settled for making out with each other. I watched them until they noticed me, at which point I offered them my fort as a place to have sex. I'm sure they're in there now, getting up to all sorts of things. Love is truly beautiful.

After wandering off again, I stumbled upon Conor himself; apparently he had somehow managed to elude the mob of groupies bent on raping him. He was scratching poetry in the dust and mumbling metaphors. I left him to his work and followed my own footprints back to my domicile, which by then had been vacated by the pair of fanboys, and proceeded to construct a computer out of rocks, from which I type this entry (who knows how I managed to connect to the internet out here). I seem to have a talent for making electronics out of rocks. I think next I'll make some recording equipment and give it to Conor, and then perhaps we'll get a new album out of this experience. It will only be available on Pluto, so fans and non-fans alike will be happy. I'm an optimist, what can I say?
     3 Swear to shake it up.  Swear to listen.
10:58pm 09/12/2005
mood: excited
Conor Oberst Sucks at Life

Conor Oberst hurt our ears for far too long, so we exiled him to Pluto where he played his music. All the Conor Oberst/Bright Eyes lovers followed him there to be with him, b/c they're obsessive fankids who are in love with heroin addicts who sing folk songs. They all were chasing him around trying to do him b/c they think he's pretty hott but really it's just the lighting techniques of mainstream music photography. The Faint already kicked him out b/c he was too lame and drooled all fucking over from his drug use. Anyway, they left, so there were only like 5 scene kids left in the world and they listened to good music (since their ears had stopped bleeding) and had a nice life.
The End.
     1 Swear to shake it up.  Swear to listen.
It sure as Hell ain't normal, but we deal, we deal. 
10:08pm 08/10/2005
mood: cold
Umm, once, this journal was really empty, so one of the wonderful mods decided she would go and update it (after having made it a little bit prettier.)

And then, the aforementioned mod drank strawberry lime Jones Soda.

Except the aforementioned mod sucks at life, because she just told a true story. BOO.

Also, the aforementioned mod likes showing off her modness by repeatedly calling herself "the aforementioned mod". Good times.
     5 Swear to shake it up.  Swear to listen.
12:29am 08/10/2005
     14 Swear to shake it up.  Swear to listen.