Tags: i_wanted_to_tell_you

how i feel

(no subject)

I wanted to tell you
That it was okay,
Harder,
Faster,
More passionate,
I wanted to believe it,
I wanted to believe it was okay,
And I wanted it.
But it wasn't.
I wanted to tell you,
To get off of me,
Never to talk to me,
But instead I gave gentle reminders,
That floated off to the wind,
Without your acknowledgement.

I want to tell you,
To get out of my life,
I hate you,
I hate the dirty feeling you gave me,
I hate the bruises my minds eye still sees.
But instead,
I'm quiet and listen to you,
After all you did,
How could you hurt me like this?

I wanted to tell you
That I hate you
But first I have to tell myself.


I know its terrible; but all input is welcome and encouraged...
spring

I wanted to tell you

There were once things that I wanted to tell you, needed to tell you.

Now, I find myself in a much overused scenario of regret and missed chances. I have never seen you smile so much and I must admit, my reflection misses your comfortable presence. Just for the record, spending time with you was like taking a pair of scissors to the seams of my life philosophy--keep to yourself in unwavering secrecy. I opened up to you, exposed myself naked, finding gradual healing and understanding in your silent scars. Brief, immortalized times such as these made me somehow believe that you actually saw something especial past my exterior. I loved you. My journal entries loved you. The memories are carried on my back, cumbersome and exact...the things you did and said like "you're unforgettable." There are still things that I want to tell you, but the contrast between your current state of happiness and my current state of gray weariness is intimidating. You're just so...
kissing a moose

(no subject)

I wanted to tell you I loved you
I loved you and all was well
So I kissed you dear kind on your forehead
I kissed you and wished you well

I want you to fare well and sail fair
To sail fair towards your sun
So that even when night cloaks your heart, dear,
Your heart's treasure'll be won.

I wanted to tell you how fair your brow,
Your brow shining soft like the moon
But I hadn't the words that you hadn't yet heard
So I kissed you and beamed like a loon.

(no subject)

I wanted to tell you
but I'd rather suffer
then break your heart.
I can't move
or breathe
or crave anymore.
My heart is shattered
becuase I'm forced
to keep loving.
And I ache
because you need me.
I wanted to tell you
that I can't anymore.
Butt I didn't want
to make you
choke on air.

"... I like you."

I wanted to tell you, but as I looked into your eyes, I couldn't summon the words. On the top of the windy world with nothing around except limitless water, endless water, your eyes glimmered in the moonlight. You took my hand and you sang. You sang those Italian songs, and I didn't need to know the words, I knew you and that was all that mattered, all that mattered in the world.

But time passes so quickly. One day, two.. And I'm constantly left, wondering and hoping, and praying. In the hallway, I told you. The flourescent lights somehow added to your beauty. The salt in your hair made it stiff and hard, and you looked so relaxed and fun. I told you I had to talk, you walked with me.. I couldn't find the words.

How do you tell someone that they're the most wonderful thing that ever happened to you, when you're two seconds from leaving? How do you tell someone you think you're in love? How do you get over that insecurity eating away at you, and just say the words that will not leave your heart or mind?

I wouldn't know. I said something lame, something like "I like you." He said he liked me back, and I was left, pulling my hair out, wishing everything was different and that I was different and that anything would work out, ever.

Every time I sit on the phone, listening to your voice (I shudder when you sing, but in the best of ways, the absolute best..), I want to tell you. But you go and ruin it by giving me false hopes, and I don't want to scare you, and it's a Wednesday and if I couldn't find the words when I was holding your hand and looking in your beautiful, beautiful eyes, then how can I now?

It's hopeless. I wanted to tell you, and I want to tell you. But I can't.
three words.
  • vaya___

(no subject)

I wanted to tell you that I was infinite, and that I had seen the sky in the way that made it seem just beyond words. How the stars, even over my house, still were beautiful. How even here, with the street lights, the grocery store, and the gas stations, you could still see how brilliant the night was. In the dead cold, you can see the moon. If you squint your eyes, you can see the milky way. I always wanted to tell you that I was, one day, going to set my eyes on the moon and just keep walking. Be it that I walk into rush hour traffic, or off the Brooklyn bridge, I'd be walking to the moon. Would you walk with me, if I gathered the strength?