Tags: i_hate_love

reach

I hate love

I hate love.
It trapped me
and you squeezed.
It tore the fragile wings off my soul
and you crashed me to the ground.
It stilled the stars in my skies
and you crushed them to dust.
It killed me that night
and I abandoned you.

(no subject)

i hate love.
----
you smile
&the world is lit
    despite slight discoloration
    of your teeth.

my stomach twists
    &i am caught between
the slamming
of an angry
             fist,

squirming below
the pressing wei
    gh
            t
of your index
finger

as you s--
            lither
inside my skin
and lick the sugar
        from my nuclei.

i am tiny,
dispensable;
a quiet ear to soak
your longing,

misplaced
and hollow:

&i

    hate

your love.
  • Current Music
    sarah mclachlan - full of grace.
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>>Sbj: I hate love

I think I'd like
to pretend
that you
are not under
my skin.

We both
know {the truth}.
you're underneath.
opaquely surfacing.
you're deep.
((so deep))
piercing me
with your
barbed-wire
gaze; . . transfixed.

I wish I understood
what makes you
so fucking intense.

You've saturated my being
with your profound perfection
overwhelmed; with raging need
to be closer to someone so intent
on making me feel so utterly inferior.

{and i need.. what i emphatically am not}

(..when I am
with you
I dont feel
quite as cold
or nearly as
negative
as I really am..)

You cast me down; and I replay this scene {again & again} ..
indelibly scarred on my seemingly resistant conscious.
you pin my arms down; into the soil. {dirty, dirty whore..}

I love you {you love me not}
I love you {you love me not}
I love you {you love me not}
----------------------------------------{you love me not}
I love you {you love me not}
I love you {you love me not}
I love you {you love me not}

And I'll never be quite as good as her
And I'll never be able to measure up.
And I'll never be your beloved.

I was quite determined to erase you {completely}
but I am subborn, and I still want you for myself.
and no one else may touch your unflawed skin
and no one else may devour your soft mouth
and no one else may stare into a view as deep as coffee.
I want you for myself. {you make me appear so ameliorate}

I want to evaporate in your arms.
oh to be able to bruise myself into you..!
you suffocate me with your tongue
you bend my surface into yours
I cannot be anymore euphoric
this is already too extreme for my senses

EXPLODE.

my pieces fall amongst your soul
my heart is indefinitely paralyzed.
my breathing; interrupted.

{and I refuse to start again}
this, right here
is what I've
been waiting for.

I am concluded.



//By the way- hi everyone. I'm new. I like how this community -feels-. So uh.. Hi again. :P
it's been a bad day, 4

I am not single. (x-posted.)

I hate love. I love myself. I love my house. I love my bedroom. I love my location. I love my family. I love my friends. I love karate. I love chorus. I love music. I love Paganism. I love peace. I love beauty. I love flowers. I love candles. I love photography. I love my emotional stance. I love chocolate. I love food. I love water. I love heat. I love moonlight. I love sunlight. I love Springsteen. I love collages. I love makeup. I love movies. I love books. I love journaling. I love existing. I love art. I love magic(k.) I love my life. I just really hate love.
  • Current Music
    One Step Up Bruce Springsteen
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