January 5th, 2004

(no subject)

i was stupid then.

sitting on the floor against the wall--
you playing guitar with the band.
by this time you had left me,
but i was still holding on tight.
all of fourteen years old
thinking i knew something
only to later find out it was
my imagination playing
tricks on me.

(no subject)

"I was stupid then"

The times I laughed
The songs I sang
The tears I cried
The things I changed

I was really stupid then.

Without a doubt
The things that made my body shake,
The feelings that made me spill my secrets
from my lips like water spills from the sea,

I was really, really stupid then.

I may be smarter now,
but with all the intelligence I've gained,
I wouldn't give it back,
for all that things I've seen.

I Was Stupid Then

I was Stupid Then

I was stupid then; when I thought sixteen meant forever, when life couldn't get any better than long distance phone calls that last until sunrise, and sultry summer afternoons leaping from ropeswings. Dreams were made from melting ice cream and strolling along the shore. Sadness meant having to come inside on account of the mosquitoes. Competition was defined by how many raspberries you could pick by the time the CD ended. Last minute movies and late night dips in the lake... these composed elements of heaven.

I didn't know that betrayal was deep in the works of my friends' mind. It was not planned into my schedule for the Grim Reaper to take stabs at my sister before finally pulling her plug. I wasn't prepared for the heartache that accompanied losing your best friend, thus the loss of the only one who ever understood. I didn't understand that moving would actually do something to me.

I was stupid then- when I knew, and I didn't do anything.