bunny (0bunny0) wrote in excuse_me___,

  • Music:

shell shock

Hello all, first time poster here. I went a little sideways with this... it was harder than I expected, had to re-write it three times and I'm still not satisfied with the result. I have trouble with humour, apparently. At one point I even thought it was going to turn out to be a poem, and trust me you're all glad it didn't. My prose may not be fantastic, but my poetry is worse. Anyways, critiques are welcome and all that jazz. Hopefully next week I'll produce something I'm happier with.

Dragon Birth

Three figures on a mountain ledge gathered around a nearly hatching egg. A mother, father and son, about to welcome the newest member of their family.
"Soon," breathed the father, all attention focused on the egg.
"Any moment now," seconded the mother.
There was silence then, except for the crack of the egg and an involuntary gasp from the mother as her new son emerged.
"Is he alright?" whispered the youngest of three figures, the new older brother.
"He's fine," crooned the proud mother.
"Just fine," agreed the father, tail swishing in pride.
"Why does he look so dumb, so out of it?" the new brother asked again.
His mother tsked. "He's just a baby, he's just hatched, be nice." She moved to nose away the broken pieces of egg that still clung to the dazed dragonet, to help him clean himself off.
"He's fine," his father repeated, enraptured by his new son. "You looked the same, not so long ago. It's just a little shell-shock."
Tags: shell-shock

  • Shell-shock

     Since he'd come back they'd barely known what to do with him. It wasn't that he'd been injured, or at least there was nothing visible to the…

  • Shell-Shock (critiques welcome)

    Unhappy Few I was met with a reassuring smile that no one is ever reassured by, a sort of leering lie from my superior. This man with a mixed…

  • Topic

    As of 2/16/07 Shell-shock Welcome to anyone new who has posted! Please, get the word out for this community. If enough of you are posting for the…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.