hshoemak (hshoemak) wrote in cellardoor_,


As I should have expected, talking to you instantly threw my world right back into chaos. I should have known better and just waited in silence for you to return, but I don't ever learn, and the thing I am farthest from learning is patience. In a way, I'm glad. I feel that I was able to say a few things that I'd felt for a long time but been unable to put accurately into words. But in every other way, I'm feeling pretty foolish and rash right now. I do still feel your absence like a hole inside me, but contacting you through these distant echoes over uncertain channels only widens the gap, agitates the wound. I miss YOU, you as you truly are, not the person projected through the harsh words on this cold screen. How much irony is there in the fact that I miss someone I can barely remember. I miss a feeling, a presence, a ghost. Find your way back to me so you can quit haunting me. Please.
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