rabi_ank wrote in ai_no_kusabi_

Ai no Kusabi: Vol7 Retranslation Project announcement

What were your first impressions when you read Vol7&8 of the AnK paperback series?

You may have noticed the illustrator had changed, but did you know the English translator had too, and that less than 50% of the book you’ve read is accurate, and that 45% of the original Japanese text has been cut/censored compared to the English version? Would you like to read it?

If so; then allow me to present to you the project that started on the Amoi discord server in August 2020: the restoration/retranslation project of volume 7&8.

Thanks to Kaikold who scanned & uploaded the Japanese original volumes on GGdrive, the official English version was compared to the Japanese in tables and a first draft of the retranslation has been completed.

The project will now enter the proofreading stage for Volume 7(checking the accuracy of the fan-translation & some editing), and I’d like to share the results on this first stage:

During translation, 3 different colors have been used to “rate” the official English version of vol7:

Green is for the text that is correct (だから——というわけでもないが。ここ五日ほど、リキの足は別館から遠のいていた。Official: But this is not the reason why, for the last five days, Riki has not set foot in the salon.)

Orange is for what is either partially false or has not been translated accurately (「なんか、いろいろ大変だったらしいな」 促されてソファーに座るなり、意味ありげにラビが口の端で笑う。Official: “This is quite the situation,” Lavi said from his sofa. Retranslation: "I heard you've been through a lot," Robby said with a meaningful wry smile as he urged him to sit on the sofa.)

Red is for major errors and additions ( 不意に脳裏を掠め走ったモノを、リキは内心の舌打ちとともに即座に振り払う。Official: Riki closed his eyes and pondered the Yunka he knew and what he became. Retranslation: As the thought of it suddenly ran through his mind, Riki inwardly clicked his tongue to immediately shake it off.)

P for Prologue, E for Epilogue, each chapter has its number on the pie charts.
P for Prologue, E for Epilogue, each chapter has its number on the pie charts.

The official English version is about 20,200 words (average AnK novel is 30,000+ words) and the retranslation draft is about 34,700 words. Here are the updated pie charts with the yellow portion being what has been cut/censored (yes, chapter 10 & Epilogue were censored a lot).

So here are the final results:

It is important to note that no scenes have been cut (the overall plot is the same). The retranslation will first be available on the Amoi discord server (current goal is to release it in November) where we will discuss about it, and to serve as a “beta”. The vocabulary (slum mongrels, Guardian) has been “harmonized” to fit Kelly Quine’s (previous translator), and the restored version will include many dialogues which are references to the 1990′s and 2012′s OVAs and colored illustrations not present in the official English version. Translations already posted here have been incorporated in the project (the credits page will reference all translations and translators).

For the moment, we are 2-3 working on the project but we are in dire need of Japanese-English speakers (intermediate level minimum, Rieko Yoshihara’s style is absolutely not beginner-friendly) for the proofreading stage and to avoid making any further errors. If you are interested in the project, please consider giving us a hand (even for one chapter will be greatly appreciated, send me a PM or on the Amoi discord server).

Any questions? 

Error

Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

default userpic

Your reply will be screened