Setting: Who knows? Sometime during the movie
Warnings: Some torture, not much nudity, sexual themes, spoilery-ish...
Synopsis: Loz has made a terrible mistake... but Kadaj finds out that the truth is harder to swallow than fantasy.
* * * * *
Loz, confused, pressed his back against mine, understanding only that I had asked him to come to me but lacked the full comprehension of my need. We leaned against each other, shoulder to shoulder, even though he was nearly half a head taller than I.
Then I recoiled my elbow into his kidney with a crack. He staggered forward and tried to save himself by rolling, but it was more or less the most clumsy thing I'd ever seen him do as I turned to watch him fall. He skidded slightly on his knee, causing a flash of pain through his face. Then he faced me, eyes wide and his expression a mixture of anger and hurt.
"You want to repeat that?" My voice purred, and I felt a sleek and sharp pain in my mind from that place where I dreamed of Him, and his cool hands and confident, deep voice that whispered now even when I was awake.
The wind pulled back my hair. I tipped my chin up, smiled, let him see the anger and the madness. He'd gone and said something again about my little golden boy. The one I craved secretly, though knew not why. Something about his words hadn't sat right with me. And the *way* he said them... insinuated something far uglier than the words themselves. The way he tilted his head, the way his lips curved in that sexy, stupid grin of his. My eyes flashed angrily as he stuttered ineffectively to answer.
It was all too little, too late.
Yazoo stood nearby. He snapped almost immediately to attention, jerking his head toward my direction as I prowled forward, slowly and decisively, tapping my lower lip with my index finger as I took in the contours of Loz's body, half-splayed on the ground.
His fear was palpable. He percieved something I did not, perhaps, but it was still too little too late and I was still going to beat the shit out of him.
His leg swung out fast. I hopped over it like I was playing jump-rope, and on the return I shoved him back again, planting my heel against his chest and throwing him against the hard ground.
"You fucking--" I laughed, unable to find any words for him.
"Kadaj." Yazoo shifted uncomfortably. "What...?"
"Shut up!" I tossed this over my shoulder carelessly. Loz scrambled backwards. He looked clumsy and human, and it pissed me off.
"Get up!" I snarled.
Loz blinked at me.
"GET UP!" I leaned forward, grabbed a fistful of his hair and threw him against a tree. He protested against the agony, his head dropping to his chest. I was gripped with horror, seeing him cower against the coarse black bark, his lip quivering. His eyes were wide and gleaming, and wet with tears.
"What... Crying again?"
He shuddered, looking away, his chin sticking out angrily. I saw a tear sparkle on its treacherous path down his chiseled face. Horrified that he could be so weak, I lunged toward him, and caught the little tear drop on my tongue before it could escape. It did not taste salty, as human tears did, but rather it was like a hot scalding thing that went cold when I swallowed it.
His body quivered, his adjacent muscles twitching against the contact of my leather thigh against his own.
"No brother of mine is this weak," I whispered lovingly, touching his face. By a fraction he relaxed.
My hand traveled across his shoulder, across the hard leather shoulder guard. On a whim, I rapped it with my knuckle twice. It made a soft sound that pleased me, and I turned away from him at last.
My mind changed, swinging hard from one extreme to the other, like my fist which spun out like a whip and snapped Loz's face to the side again; this time his throat formed a pained, betrayed noise like a dog's bark. I threw my fist into his stomach while he was stunned. His flesh and mine glowed for one instant, and then I was inside of him.
I clawed into his spirit, almost giggling for the pure joy of it. I think my voice sounded frightened.
Hurt him. Hurt him, Kadaj.
He screamed like a wounded beast. He bucked violently to throw me away, but I stood between his legs, crushing him against the tree, my boot scraping on the thick roots.
Yazoo stepped forward, his eyes wide, his hand half-reaching for his bladed gun. "Kadaj!"
"Stay there!" I snarled, and my voice was not my own. It rippled with power and a tone I hadn't used before, and it was deeper, commanding, sinuous. Yazoo lurched to a stop as if tied back by a rope or physically repelled. My eyes locked onto his, and he recoiled and stepped away, slowly lowering into a submissive kneel, quivering, hypnotized.
Loz had stopped screaming. I turned back to him, watched as his energy swirled around my vanished fist. He was both trying to repel and absorb me, the natural need to be one with him overwhelming. I wanted him, I wanted to be him, inside of him, strengthen this spirit who seemed so weak and sad and alone that he cried at night for Mother. I'll take care of you, brother, don't cry... Why was I being this way? His eyes glazed from the pain, or perhaps he was lost somewhere I could not reach him, as his head rolled back. Regardless, I pulled him close and withdrew my intrusive arm. His stomach closed and he shuddered, a wordless noise of pleading for mercy, for... forgiveness. I stroked his hair, flashes of our spiritual essence mixing once again.
"I'll give you something to cry about," I whispered lovingly, "my brother."
My vision blurred. I felt dizzy as I guided him down onto the soft grass, his arms hanging limply at his sides. I located the tiny piece of metal, and unclasped his belts one by one. Yazoo was obedient, but it was obvious he had a feeling where this was going, and he bent his head so that his hair curtained off the sight.
Loz only shortly regained consciousness. By that time, I had stripped his arms and chest clear of his clothes. I ran my hands appreciatively over the slight dips and valleys and depressions of his chest, prizing the strength of them and mourning the lack of tactful use he gave them. I straddled him, and when his eyes flickered with realization, I chuckled, covering his mouth with my fingers.
"I promise not to make it hurt," I lied. With my teeth, I pulled off my gloves, tearing like an animal. He squirmed underneath me, pushing at my thighs, but his touch and his struggling only proved to further my need to dominate him.
"Slow down, honey, let me get undressed first," I sighed, smacking his hands away. I slid back down on his stomach, running my hands up my stomach to my throat. I tipped my head back. Something powerful and untamable filled me suddenly, and I moaned in surprise. It felt so good, so complete. I could taste its fire in my mouth, could feel a power greater than me grip my shoulders, stab into my spine and force me to look down again at Loz, whose eyes very fearfully took in my ecstacy and my passion.
"Kadaj," moaned Yazoo, holding his head in his hands. He swayed slightly, on his knees, begging with his voice. "Kadaj..."
"Stay there," I said gently, never taking my eyes off of Loz but somehow knowing what Yazoo was doing, aware of his sinews and his voice and the unguarded pain in his body.
I stayed there, my eyes glued to Loz. He stared back, his hands resting on my hips, sliding over my legs warmly. I shuddered, taking comfort in his touch, and the anger and vengeance drained out of me. I was panting slightly, uncertain of where I was or what I had been just then attempting to do.
"Kadaj," said Yazoo quietly. He was staying put, defying every urge to come to us, to join us, to be close and one with us. I didn't deny him any longer, and motioned for him to come close. He tucked himself beneath my arm, pressing his ear against my ribs.
"He didn't say anything," came the soft, soothing deepness of the wind. Yazoo stroked my arm, kissed my fingers with trembling lips. "He didn't say a word about anything... You... you just became very angry."
I shut my eyes, and uttered a soft moan was pulled out of me. Loz slowly squirmed his way out from underneath me, sliding his arms back into their sleeves again, and buttoning and zipping his jacket. Yazoo ducked his head in guilt. I didn't move until I reached for Loz, and took hold of him and pulled him close to me.
I crushed my lips to his, my chest crowded with sobs and whimpers as his was. He responded in kind, and gripped simultaneously by desperation and a devouring passion to be forgiven, we thrust tongues in mouths and clutched at each other, till we only gasped.
"I'm sorry," we said simultaneously. My brother cracked a weak smile. Yazoo stroked my hair, kissing my face before he pulled me up by my arm.
"We should hurry," Yazoo murmured. "The Reunion..."
I looked at him, cold and dizzy. "Yes."
"What did you see?"
Yazoo wouldn't say. He turned around and walked back to our motorcycles. I reluctantly followed, hugging myself once before looking to the place where I'd almost committed my crime. The chill of fear crept in on me, and while I still had my brothers, I could not trust myself to be near them anymore.
Not when I could feel and taste and have power like that. When I could hurt my brothers... and make Loz cry like that.