"TEXAS (CNN) -- In light of recent terrorist attacks, the Department of Homeland Security has issued a ban on all sales and distribution of the 1997 hit video game, Final Fantasy VII
The game involves the main character, Cloud Strife, planting bombs in power plants in a heavily populated city. The protagonist works with the terrorist group "Avalanche" bombing locations throughout the beginning of the game.
The decision was made only hours after the bombing of a chemical plant in Fort Worth, Texas. The FBI is still hot on the trails of the culprit, going by the hacker alias "frootloops". An FBI spokesperson told CNN at the time that investigators have already seized equipment in the culprits house, but frootloops was nowhere to be found. "Upon confiscation of the equipment, we found a large collection of child pornography on the culprits hard drive." said the FBI spokesperson.
"OMG! This game is bad, 'cause like, it gives the Arab bastards bad ideas!"
Gay. Fucking. President.
And the stupid fucking parents, too.
President Bush has already indicated he's opposed to Square-Enix role playing games. "Mario doesn't blow up power plants" Bush said on thursday. Mario was unavailible for comment.
Parenting groups are also up in arms against the game. "These 'role playing games' are teaching our children to use magic and summon demons, they're destroying our childrens future and making them worship satan. We can't allow this to continue." Various forms of Magic have been a staple of every game in the Final Fantasy series dating back to Final Fantasy released in 1990 for the Nintendo Entertainment System. "It's almost as bad as Harry Potter!" A parent who wishes to remain anonymous said.
I just had to write a quick post of crazy excitement. I'm in Tokyo right now staying with my sister, which is really cool and Im having a great time. The excitement is that Advent Children is being advertised everywhere here - we've ordered the big box set with the mug and hat and stuff - so we can go pick it up when it comes out in September over here!!! YAY!!! Everytime I go to the cd shop i end up getting stuck for quite a while watchihng the screen which plays trailers back to back - oh my god it looks amazing! *jumps around*. You can even order it at the local conbenie (convenience store) downstairs - its in a DVD box and everything!!!
has anyone been able to pre-order it yet? its less then a month and i can't find it anywhere. not even on line. square-enix people assure me the release date hasn't been pushed back. please tell me i can't find it just cause i live in the boonies.