Kinda all depressed after talking to my friend about relationships and how Andy kepy going on about how hot my two friends are. I was like, "Do you know that translates into 'you are not hot, Kyla, but your friends are!'???" I just feel so alone! Fun...
...Have you ever been so sick of your heart being broken, nearly beaten and scarred to total and complete failure that you WANT your heart to freeze, to not feel anything at all, and just to stop the obvious and lethal doses of pain burning your viens every single day by the ones you thought you loved so much??
It only hurts more realizing that the efforts you put forth to save you from the potential scarring, even execution of your heart, are not able to stop the aching pulse of pain each and every time you lay eyes on this person and thinking about them STILL, causing the heart, the very depths of emotion, YOUR emotion, to be broken even deeper, larger pieces flying, bloodier, sharper edges shattering into blades that make your eyes bleed and your heart scream with such agony that any alternative, even a permanent one, would be less painful to deal with... i tried. I do not plan on trying again, though...
AND THENNN when people say things like 'love is worth all the pain' and 'everybody finds someone,' I want to choke them, force them to drown in their own pools of crimson and misery, and tell me again, shout the so-called all knowing truth about love and how love is included in fate and everyone gets to feel it at some point, and make me feel like I atleast belive this theory about love being worth all the terrible, emotional scars and floods of salty tears, let alone think there is a slim chance of finding someone, anyone, who gives a fuck if i really want to make an attempt at being happy...
"PEOPLE = SHIT!!!" -Thank you, Slipknot...
grrrrr... i am very much unwanted!!