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Bloody Tears [entries|friends|calendar]
We are the unwanted

[ website | _xunwantedx_ at caleida ]
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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[14 Apr 2006|09:08am]

Smile because you can, a smile a day keeps the doctor away!
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Hello [01 Mar 2006|09:24pm]

I've just had a little play with the layout, hope you all like it? if not tell me what you want to see and i'll try it, its been a while since i've made a layout so yes its basic but i hope its good enough!

update on me
I havent harmed in 3 months *smiles* urges are still there sometimes, but its getting alot easier, went to the swimming pool 2day with some stick bath letters and spelt out "SIAD, we need support not judgement" what did you lot do 2day?

Happy Self Injury Awareness Day, hope your all okay!
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Thanksgiving [23 Nov 2005|11:02am]

In life sometimes we feel like things are unusually bad. People get so caught up in what needs improvement, what we lack, how we struggle, and how far we are from being where we want to be. You're just walking your path on a road that may not be smooth... but, so is everyone else. Yet somehow you may find yourself seeking pitty; asking yourself why things are as bad as they are. You ask yourself "Why me?", or say "Could things get any worse?"

The answer to that question is more often than not YES.


To everyone, please, not just on Thanksgiving; but as a life time goal. Learn to count your blessings. Dont let lifes beauty pass you by. Be thankful for the air you breath and the blessing of the day ahead of you... because tomarrow is promised to no one. Life is a gift. Each day you wake up is hand wraped by God. Enjoy it. Be glad in it.

Though at times life is hard, you may feel yourself losing hope. Sometimes wishing NOT to see tomarrow. Remeber.... You've been given THIS DAY, But its up to you how you use it. A better life starts TODAY, and it starts WITH YOU.
I'd like to think that as long as you are here you have SOMETHING to be thankful for. Embarace it. Because LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.

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[24 Aug 2005|04:14am]

[ mood | stressed ]

hey i havnt posted in a while but im just feeling really stressed right now because school is approaching rapidly. School officially Starts in 1 week and a day. Oh how im looking so forward to it!...dealing with the fake people, liars, cheaters, and backstabbers. What i love most!! uhh i love vacation in the sense that its a vacation and i can just get away from everything that is going on in my life, but the sucky thing about vacation is that you have to come back. For example, I've had the BEST summer of my life this year and i really feel like i've grown and changed a lot as a person and everything, BUT i have to go back to school and my real life very soon, and the truth is that while your gone, everything stays the same. So while you've changed and grown, nothing else has which means you have to go right back to the place that made you feel the need for change in the first place, which will most likely drag you back down to the same sad, lonely person all over again.

But thats life for ya

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[28 Jun 2005|01:43pm]

[ mood | scared ]

My mother and I really got into a big arguement and she is making me unhappy. It takes up so much stress and I always feel weak. She doesn't know about me being bi and she won't be able to accept it either. She said that I should move out by the end of next school year. I am only fifteen!

I don't know what to do. It hurts so much.

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what once was us [28 Jun 2005|11:03am]

Im having his baby soon.. (due July 17th). I've known him most my life. He was my first crush, first kiss, first blow job...*hee hee...

But that was when we were kids... I rediscoverd him as an adult, we dated for a year, he even asked me to be his wife. Thats how I ended up this way. The only problem is... for the last 6 months... Hes been with her. Yep, thats right... HE LEFT ME ALONE AND PREGNANT. He knew he had my heart in his hands, and he still does.

I love him so much, even now. Despite the fact that SHE used to be one of my best friends. I love him soo much that I hate him... for leaving me this way. Its like he doesn't care that he was my world... or that while SHE calls him "daddy", our son won't know his father. He just doesnt care. And every night I cry myself to sleep hoping that he will.
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hello [25 Jun 2005|03:43pm]

[ mood | bored and blah ]

I am obviously new here. My name is Marie, although I prefer to go by Damanta. I am 16 years old and I live in Lowell, Ma. My life was pretty good for a long time. However, when I turned 9 that changed and I have had to deal with numerous hurtful situations and letdowns since. A lot of said let downs made me feel worthless,unnattractive, and unwanted. I am, in summary: an individual, a writer, a dreamer, and a hopeless romantic. I write in an effort to keep myself from resorting to unhealthier means. Below is a picture of me.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

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Hello my golden group of flowers! [25 Jun 2005|10:52am]

[ mood | content ]

Good morning!

I am somewhat new to this community.
I am fifteen and bisexual. What can I say, rejection and eccentricity is my thing. I have dealt and put up with a lot a shit but then I can say we all probably have.

Anything you want to know about me, just ask.
I can be overly happy or downright pissed off. If I decide to rant and rave, just tell me and I "might" calm down. Otherwise, just go with it.

I love almost everyone and love dark creativity. I write, I scream, and I have one hell of a temper if something really fires me up.

Love the community so far and hope to be part of the little family we have started here.

Many huggles,

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[10 Jun 2005|08:06pm]

[ mood | enraged ]

dumb ....... I don't know what the fuck her problem is.. So what you have fuckin DSL..... ok that is all I have heard about in a fuckin week....... DSL this.... DSL that.... ack.... sicking.... and yet cause I am not all excited about it and don't want to even fuckin talk about it I am the bad guy here.... fuck that.... and now for some fuckin reason I have to fuckin say I am sorry... for what... cause I am sick of hearing her gloat... oh but she wouldn't be jealous if it was the other way around..... the fuck she wouldn't..... I am not jealous....I am just fuckin sick of hearing about it... damn..... ok... so then I tell her I had enough and yet she is the one that says I am in the wrong here.... WHATEVER!!! this is CRAZY... I mean hell I don't try to rub that I can come and go as I please and see movies when I want.. hell I have given her phone cards to call me with and spoiled her rotten when I was there..... and I still get treated like I am the bad guy..... I don't think so.... whatever.... yet another time.... I feel unwanted..... by her!!!

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[25 May 2005|12:09am]

[ mood | groggy ]

Hey there,
My name is Erin, I'm somewhat new to the whole livejournal thing.

I'm sure you hear the "I just dont fit in" thing a lot. It happens. I suppose I have a little more of an eccentric cause for becoming "unwanted", so to speak.

When I was a small child I had a pan of boiling water spilled over the prominent part of my body...luckily for me the scars on my face healed almost seamlessly, but my arms, back and part of my chest are scarred beyond hope.

It's been just about 19 years since that happened, and i'm finally coming to terms with it. It's helped that the few friends i have all adore my unintended bodily modification, to the point of finding them more attractive than smooth skin. I don't know if I agree with that, but its nice to know theres a couple of people who really do fancy them.

I guess being mostly an outcast for most of my life has made me gravitate to the darker side of life, some people call it goth, I call it...me.
Anyhow, I thought I would just say hello.

Love and squishes,

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I'm new~! [17 May 2005|11:41am]

[ mood | drained ]

Hey guys finding this comunity has lighten  the weight on my shoulders.
To know people feel the same way i do...
we're not alone! yay!! xoxo

My names Meek. I live in Sydney Australia.
I always have a dark cloud following me no matter where i go or what i do.
I love and hate my shelter at the same time.
ive had some trialing times through out my life. 
At the moment its hard enough for me to face each day...
but slowly i'm doin it.
Rejection is harsh i just wish those people could see the world through my eyes.........

I'd really like to meet some new people in this comunity

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[04 May 2005|12:22pm]


Hey kids i'm Tanith, I decided to join here because I am fed up of rejection by other LJ communities, who take everything at face value. Apparently i'm a pretentious mansonite! Why do they assume this, because i'm 15, because I am who I am, wear what I feel comfortable in Just because I am 15! That does not mean I am a mansonite, Yeah I like his music, but i'm not crazy all over him. They say that my opinions aren't good enough, how can that be when all opinions are different, how can you tell who someone is by a few questions!?...Apparently my make-up is "horrible" I try too hard...how can I be trying too hard when I find it so easy to be this way, to be who I am. All of us are in the same boat getting shit whilst we walk down the street.  And yet we still judge eachother rather than holding together.

I hate rating communities, I hate being rejected because I am who I am, because I feel I want to be this way deep down, I am not fake. Noone else can see this.

3 comments|post comment

[18 Apr 2005|07:57pm]



Sorrie that I haven't updated in a while...

Well i'll get to the main point i'm not using this LJ anymore...
As a had a massive arguement with my ex-bestfriend, who then said I cut for attention and I tell the "world".
The world meaning anyone who reads my journal...


I figured that the best thing to do is not write in here any more....

However I do have a new LJ..
If any of you did actually wanna keep in touch.

Hope your all okay and that your going says without cutting.
If you cut resently, then i'm sorrie.
I wish you all the best.
You deserve it.

My new journal addy:


Love Ally xXx

6 comments|post comment

[06 Apr 2005|03:35pm]

[ mood | unwanted!! ]

Kinda all depressed after talking to my friend about relationships and how Andy kepy going on about how hot my two friends are. I was like, "Do you know that translates into 'you are not hot, Kyla, but your friends are!'???" I just feel so alone! Fun...

...Have you ever been so sick of your heart being broken, nearly beaten and scarred to total and complete failure that you WANT your heart to freeze, to not feel anything at all, and just to stop the obvious and lethal doses of pain burning your viens every single day by the ones you thought you loved so much??

...me too.

It only hurts more realizing that the efforts you put forth to save you from the potential scarring, even execution of your heart, are not able to stop the aching pulse of pain each and every time you lay eyes on this person and thinking about them STILL, causing the heart, the very depths of emotion, YOUR emotion, to be broken even deeper, larger pieces flying, bloodier, sharper edges shattering into blades that make your eyes bleed and your heart scream with such agony that any alternative, even a permanent one, would be less painful to deal with... i tried. I do not plan on trying again, though...

AND THENNN when people say things like 'love is worth all the pain' and 'everybody finds someone,' I want to choke them, force them to drown in their own pools of crimson and misery, and tell me again, shout the so-called all knowing truth about love and how love is included in fate and everyone gets to feel it at some point, and make me feel like I atleast belive this theory about love being worth all the terrible, emotional scars and floods of salty tears, let alone think there is a slim chance of finding someone, anyone, who gives a fuck if i really want to make an attempt at being happy...

"PEOPLE = SHIT!!!" -Thank you, Slipknot...

grrrrr... i am very much unwanted!!

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ooeee. [31 Mar 2005|05:28pm]

[ mood | angry ]

i managed to fuck up and SI last night. god i'm an ididot, i was going so well but i always screw everything up. now, if mum finds out she will massacre me. and all the tickets to see the used in sydney have sold out. and i have the shits.
fuck this life sucks. i'm sorry to be so negative, but convince me otherwise.

aimee xx

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[29 Mar 2005|07:11pm]

well just thought id say hello!

Im called Charlie live in Manchester, UK.

Im a friend of Wendy's.
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[28 Mar 2005|10:31pm]

Sorry I haven't wrote in here for a while..
I hope your all okay
Speak soon
Ally x
P.s Love the newlayout
2 comments|post comment

Im Sorry ...... [27 Mar 2005|09:18am]

How can things get better when the only thing i have to live for i hate? and thats me .....

I self harmed last night,2 months and 27 days without it and i failed myself and anyone who believed in me,im sorry! im just not strong enough ....
I scratched my arms so much that they started to bleed,then realised what i was doing to myself and bust into floods of tears... how many people do you know SH in the pub toilets? man i suck

[x]Yes im not perfect and no i dont really care, but at least i try .....
[x]You never say thank you for the good things i do,just moan at me about the bad.
[x]I wish sometimes you'd just put your arms round me and give me a hug,i love you.
[x]I want you to love me back,treat me like the princess you did when i was little.
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*flowers in hand* [27 Mar 2005|04:43pm]

[ mood | bored ]

hi, im aimee and im unwanted.
you peeps seem a lot like me, and the pink is great.
Xmuch loveX

4 comments|post comment

[26 Mar 2005|02:03pm]

[ mood | weird ]

I joined this because this community seems to be everything I feel. I'm rejected everywhere, so it seems.

I guess I want to feel like I belong somewhere.


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