Ripped from Metal Demon's MySpace bulletin:
What if the world were 100 people? (repost)
There would be:
14 from North and South America
52 would be female
48 would be male
70 would be nonwhite, 30 white
59% of the entire world's wealth would belong to only 6 people
and all 6 would be citizens of the United States
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death
1 would be near birth
Only 1 would have a college education
99 of them will not see this message,
because only 1 would have a computer.
Really puts things in perspective, huh?
And a couple jokes:
Michael the Dragon Master was an official in King Arthur's
court. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beau-
tiful Queen's voluptuous breasts. But he knew the penalty
for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague,
Horatio, who was the King's chief physician. Horatio said,
"I can arrange it, but I will need 1,000 gold coins to pay
bribes." Michael the Dragon Master readily agreed.
The next day Horatio made up a batch of itching powder and
poured a little of it into the Queen's brassiere while she
was taking a bath. Soon after she dressed, the itching
commenced and grew in intensity. Upon being called to the
royal chambers, Horatio told the King that only a special
saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of
itch, and that tests had shown such a saliva was only to be
found in Michael the Dragon Master's mouth.
King Arthur summoned Michael the Dragon Master. Michael the
Dragon Master slipped the antidote lotion into his mouth and
for the next four hours worked passionately on the Queen's
Satisfied, he returned to his chamber and found Horatio
demanding payment. However, with his obsession now satisfied,
he refused to pay Horatio anything and shooed him away,
knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the
The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same
itching powder onto King Arthur's loincloth. King Arthur
summoned Michael the Dragon Master...
The moral of the story? Pay your bills.
A married man decided to work late to be with his sexy
secretary, so he called his wife to make up an excuse.
After work he invited his secretary to dinner. It soon
became obvious that he was going to get lucky, so the two
went back to her apartment and had great sex for two hours.
Afterward the fellow went to the bathroom to straighten up
for the trip home and noticed a huge hickey on his neck.
He panicked, wondering what to tell his wife.
After the man unlocked his front door, his dog came
bounding to greet him. Aha, the man thought, and promptly
fell to the carpet, pretending to fight off the affectionate
animal. Holding his neck with one hand, he said, "Honey,
look what the dog did to my neck!"
"Hell," she answered, ripping open her blouse. "Look what
he did to my tits!"