eugaira (eugaira) wrote in _weightwatchers,

the quick fix

there was this girl that was sort of my competition for my husband's attention back before we were dating. we both pursued him, and in the end i "won" (that is now up for debate).

we were both fat girls who lost weight on ww.

i've been on and off of ww ever since. i am 20 pounds heavier now than i was the day i met doug. i am 50 pounds heavier than i want to be. the year is ending and i am feeling discouraged that i'm not ending it as thin as i would like to be.

and now i've heard - and seen the proof - that she has had weight loss surgery. she looks fantastic. really. and i kinda hate her for it. obviously i am totally jealous and insecure.

why am i struggling, counting points, going without, when there is a quick fix out there?

all of this is coming to a head because she is coming to town to visit my husband's friend - her new romantic interest - and wants all 4 of us to hang out. and i can't bear it. to be near her, her looking great, me - well, not looking so great. what if he wants her when he sees her? my husband, i mean?

fuck, i'm faking the plague to get out of this.

ughh. i wonder what i would give to wake up thinner tomorrow?
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