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We Happy Few

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Mum's the word [10 Nov 2005|10:07am]

[ mood | busy ]

I really hated the feeling of walking on eggshells. Situations like that call for choosing words wisely and...hello, I’m say-the-first-thing-that-comes-to-mind girl. Yeah, the name needs work, but it gets the point across.

As if I hadn’t had my doubts about Abby from the get-go, then creepy cryptic demon thing just adds fuel to the fire. Call me paranoid or just plain bitchy, I don’t trust the girl as far as I could have thrown her a few months ago. Uh, actually, let’s make it as far as Andrew could throw here. Yeah, that’s better.

Does she even HAVE a last name? Maybe I missed it in all of my blind paranoid-bitchiness. And seriously, how does she choose her friends? Does she just hit the nearest ‘Oddball Convention’ in town, close her eyes, spin in a circle, point and presto--instant quirky buddy? I could replace the word ‘quirky’ with a few other words, but I won’t. Anyway, however she does it, she just really hit the mother load on her latest venture to weirdos-r-us. Amnesiac Adam and Male Slayer Mike...both with karate chop action and they’ll leave you with a million questions zipping through your brain.

Leon is less of an anomaly than Connor...which is sort of weird seeing how he’s obviously a dude with powers ordinarily reserved for the fairer sex--‘cause nothin’ says feminine like pulling apart demons. Cooky Aborigines guys. Plus, he knows Giles...and, uh, Giles returns the knowing. Yep. British power?

Connor, however, was just a ‘normal’ college boy...and now he’s some sort of Abby groupie? Isn’t college supposed to make you smarter and not wipe out any and all functioning brain cells you may have enrolled with? You think a kid with amnesia would have better judgement than that. I mean, who’s to say the origin of his amnesia isn’t from being some puppy-eyed tag along to some other strange--not Abby--person? It could happen. He’s just an after school special waiting to happen.

Wow...what a rant. Well if I can’t go and be my usually loudmouth self then I have to get my kicks somehow. My own head will work for the time being. I’m surprisingly agreeable.

I sat behind the counter in the lobby with one of the big dusty books off the ‘who-needs-this-many-demon-book!’ shelf. It had to be the biggest and dustiest one of the pack and I sat curled up on the office chain behind the counter, completely immersed in it...or, you know, the ‘People’ magazine being concealed behind it, whatever.


One Hell Of A Night [09 Nov 2005|09:45am]

I won't lie that fight that took place in the graveyard a few nights back was intense. But we all made it out alive. Some worse off the others, but none the less still alive. That Lilith had kinda just disappeared and there has been nothing as far as I have looked, absolutely nothing on her in any of the books here. It was a pretty quiet night when we all got back. Most of us cleaned up, went to our own rooms, or others just wanted to get out and well..I don't know what they wanted to do.

But let's not dwell on what happened. It was a new day. I had wrote in my journal what had happened. I have found myself writing in these more and more. I did it a lot when I was younger, but I guess it's a good thing to do. Though I have found lately a lot of it has had to do with my feelings towards my watcher...Alan. He felt more then a watcher to me...but I don't think he has the same feelings towards me as I have to him. I saw those feelings when that Grace whatever her name came around. Turned out she wasn't evil like I thought, she had just came down to do an inspection of our headquarters then report back to the new watchers council in England.

Robin Wood had felt he would be more useful over there. Not that he weren't sad to see him go but he felt at least for the time being that he could really help out. He even took Faith with him..now that was a surprise. I mean they had kinda been together, then not and now..well I don't now. But Faith went to help train some of the new girls that were over in London. Andrew was sad to see his friend go...but there was something more to it. No clue what that something is..but then it's Andrew. I don't think anyone knows what is going on in that boys head.

I think people around here are starting to trust Alan more, or well more then they did when he first showed up. Buffy still hasn't exactly come around but I think Hell would have to freeze over for that to happen.

I finished up with my journal, got changed and looked at some of the bruises I still had. They were alot fainter then what they had been. But they were easily covered by my clothes. I hadn't seen Nicole around, which was un-usual. But she was around somewhere. I mean it's not like we are stuck together like glue, maybe she went shopping or who knows what.

Then there was Abby. I assume she is with Connor, but hey it's not like it's my job to keep track of everyone. I walked downstairs and things seemed pretty quiet. There was always something you could be doing in this place to keep you occupied, but for now, my direction was towards the kitchen.

I opened the fridge and got out some stuff to make a mini sub sandwich then sat up on the counter to eat it. And opened up a soda. Time to relax.

(Open to...I dunno..surprise me.)
6 Slayers Watcher

Making the wrong choices... [08 Nov 2005|07:28pm]

[ mood | moody ]

Andrew. And me. Andrew and me in a, no, next to a bed and then...no. It, I was in shock. I was drunk, I was not myself and it could not...should not have happened. That was in no way okay, allowed, or appreciated. But that begs the question...who initiated? Had I made the move? Had he just taken advantage? Why can't I just forget about it? Although judging by how Faith and Andrew were in that coffee place...yeah, he still thinks about, the us factor. But there isn't an "us" thing. There is in fact a mistake between us, that's all.

That's the conclusion I came to as I rounded the corner back to the hyperion. I had left Andrew and Faith back in that coffee shop after I was bombarded with an intervention of sorts coming from Faith. Though, it was my fault because I spotted them and I made contact ready to apologize and move on. Andrew, wasn't and Faith seems to now think I'm on the train to gaytown. Well, she's wrong. I'm not even at that platform. I'm actually not even at a train station. I'm actually on the corner of 'whatthehell' and 'shitimscrewed'.

Ignoring this revelation I made my way back into the hotel to try and find any slayers around to blow some steam off. Maybe do some sparring. Where's Buffy when you need her? Or Willow...or really anyone whatsoever? I sighed and made my way into the kitchen and spotted a blue haired slayer just drinking from the carton. Now I completely ignored the fact that that was extremely rude and just cleared my throat.

"I'm Xander and I am a watcher of sorts..." Which reminds me. Where the hell is my slayer? "I just wanted to go through a few defensive moves in the training room just to see how you are doing." She glared at me, nodded a bit, and then set the milk down right on the counter. Frowning and shaking my head, I returned the milk to the fridge after she had left and followed her to the makeshift training room.

There we go. As I entered the room I realized that she wasn't in sight. Had I gone to the wrong one? Were there more then one? Did she dissapear? My questions were answered when I hit the ground and realized she had been hanging above me. On what I have no idea but nevertheless stealthily hanging. "Touche." I said as she picked me up by my arm and flung me into the mat a couple feet away. "Oh, wow. Yeah." I picked myself and tried to gain my composure grasping the few stacked mats. "That's...that's definitely enough." The young slayer just giggled a bit and traipsed off all superior like. Bitch!

I let her go though and made my way back into the main area heading up to my room where *it* happened. I paused outside my door and slowly opened it revealing noone. Just the sheets that had been pulled off during Andrew and I's...mistake. I re-made my bed and sat on the edge taking off my shoes. Tossing them aside I just swung my feet up and moved onto the bed lying back, on my back actually. I sat up and moved my pillow up as I then leaned against it, grabbing my pen and pad for some more lesson planning of which I hope I do not have bitchy blue-hair tommorrow because that won't be a tad bit embarrasing. I could just hear the girl's giggles now.

"You kicked our teacher's ass?"

(Open to Andrew if he wants a talk...or anyone really)

6 Slayers Watcher

On the move [11 Jul 2005|01:39am]

[ mood | hopeful ]

[Continued from here and here]

Finally something was starting to go right. Well, not right saying that I was still stuck inside what some considered to be my own body, but wasn't. No, whatever Illyria was simply looked like a shadow of me, and that was something I was hoping to fix once we arrived back at Wolfram and Hart. Illyria thought she'd have Knox eliminate me from her mind, but that wouldn't happen when we finally entered the building. Angel, Wesley, Cordy, Lorne.. they'd all find us. They would find us and also know that I wasn't truly gone. That I was stuck inside of here. They had to know that, right? At least Angel would. Wasn't it one of those vampire things to sense things like that?

If not, I had to at least face the possibility that no one would know and then they'd do their best to kill Illyria and do something else with Knox. I doubted that neither Knox nor Illyria would willingly let the ones who wanted them dead know that I was still here.. sort of.

There was more of that loud ringing and for a while I wasn't able to see anything. When it finally became that ever wonderful eerie quiet again, I concentrated and was able to see that we were making our way back down the street towards Wolfram and Hart. Being an all-powerful Old One, you'd think that Illyria would know a little more of what was going around, but apparently being housed in a sarcophagus for thousands of years didn't do her any good. Oh, and that sarcophagus was getting the royal Wolfram and Hart destruction treatment if ever was able to get out of here. That is, unless someone else hasn't already taken care of it by now.

Once we entered the building, Illyria threw a flung a few people out of her way, and I wondered if she even knew where to go. The lab? It would make the most sense. Everything was moving so fast and I had trouble figuring out exactly where we were going. Maybe this was a good thing. Illyria would throw around a few more people and someone would call security. Security would call Angel and let him know I-.. we were here. I hoped.

[Eh, short and sucky I know. Open to.. you know who you are]

10 Slayers Watcher

Welcome To Our Nightmare..... [22 Jun 2005|08:45am]

Okay so much for the simple patrol. I sitll believe Nikki has a part to do with all this..ask and ye shall receive. Okay so she probably doesn't...in fact I know she doesn't but still. I still had no idea why now this Lilith shows up, especially now.

Lilith had tossed me, but I got off easy as I made my way over to Abby. Even with slayer strength a throw and a slam like that would hurt anyone badly. I had so much anger building up inside...but I still felt as if I had very little power. Even when I was trying to get Lilith off Abby I probably didn't even leave her a bruise.

As I put my hand down on Abby's shoulder and asked her if she was alright she nodded slightly. She would live, which she better have. If anything happened to anyone out here...well Lilith would eventually pay. Look at me I sound like Buffy. Always trying to protect everyone, where as most of the people out here have more power then I have. Well expect maybe Leon...Lilith can have him while we make our get away...As much as I hate him...I don't want Lilith to be the one to kill him..I want the pleasures of it.

Okay enough with this mindless banter. There are other things we could be doing. Most of us had been hit pretty bad, Abby took the worst blow. But we weren't going to let her win. I looked up at her.

"Get out of here."

Like thats gonna do anything. I reached for my sword that was just a few inches away. Keeping eye contact with her and who knows if I could get to my sword first...maybe I could give her a nice little scratch..

(a la crap. Open to all who should be here..you know who are you.)

Cupid was never this cute…or this well dressed… [06 Jun 2005|04:46am]

[ mood | chipper ]

Alright, so the past few days or so haven’t been the best to plot and plan around getting Cordy and Angel together, but now that things have settled down it’s time. Then again I’m bored and Wesley isn’t down my back about something or other so I’ve had a little…ok a lot of time to kill.

So far I have the menu planned out, Cordelia’s favorite’s too. Angel’s a vampire, he doesn’t have taste buds so he’ll deal and eat whatever’s in front of him; including Cordy, especially with that fabulous dress I picked out for her from Sax. I swear – I mean if I believed in god and I wasn’t a creature of the night and all – I’m so glad that Cordy and I are the same size because I have the hottest date with Devin in the mail room.

Who cares about status and all that stuff in the work place when you’ve got an ass like that?!

Oh, so the meal and Cordy’s dress is all set up. I sent one of the boys from the copy room to get me a suit for Angel, on the company’s expense account of course.

Now, it’s just a matter of getting them both in the same room at the same time that isn’t all mopy about what’s going on with Fred and all. I mean I care about freddles a lot but c’mon really! It’s time to move on and shit, she’s walking around just fine so there’s no need to mope around about.

Ugh, I swear I’m gonna have to kidnap them both and tie them to the roof to get them on a date.

Ohhh! There’s an idea…

Hmm, I wonder who that new chick is wondering around…she looks like she got dipped in blue paint. Someone should warn her about that, it’s gonna kill her roots…


Finding answers [29 May 2005|08:42pm]

[ mood | rushed ]

[Continued from here and here]

Finally, somebody had answers. Any answers. When security called and said that someone was in the lab, I knew it had to be her. Oh, and Knox had to be with her. Who else could it have been? Well, I guess some random tech person, but why would security have called just for that?

Lorne, Cordy, and I quickly left my office and made our way towards the stairs that led to the lab. At the rate we were all walking, it wasn't going to take us long at all to get there. The only thing running through my mind right now was the look on Fred's face just before she died. No. Just before she was infected by this thing and her body was taken over. Fred wasn't dead. Being dead meant gone. That wasn't something I was ready to accept.

Over the last few years, I'd lost too many people. Doyle. Buffy. Even though she was brought back and was alive again, that didn't change the hurt that I felt when she was dead. I thought I'd lost Cordy until she finally woke up from her coma and then there was Connor. Connor was anything but dead, but it had been so long since I'd seen him that at times it felt like he was. The old Connor was dead at least. The new Connor.. didn't even know I existed.

The look on Fred's face that I couldn't shake from my mind was what kept me hurrying towards this office. We were going to get her back and I was personally going to kill the son of a bitch who had made this happen. Things like this just didn't happen by themselves, so someone had to be behind it all. And if that 'someone' was Knox? Well, no God-King of his could save him.

We finally made it to the lab and I opened the doors, looking around when I walked through them. Lorne and Cordelia walked in behind me and we started looking for who exactly was in here. If it was Illyria.. we had to have some sort of way to keep her here. Somehow.

Hearing voices, I walked past the two of them and towards the back of the lab. Frowning, I realized it wasn't Knox and Illyria, but.. Wesley and Willow? Well, at least it wasn't some tech guy who would be absolutely no help at all.

"Wesley? Willow?"

[Open to Wes, Willow, Lorne, and Cordy.. maybe Illy/Fred and Knox later?]

14 Slayers Watcher

Strength. [27 May 2005|11:20pm]

[ mood | shocked ]

So, I was going over what had happened all through my head. Thoroughly couldn't believe what I was seeing. Actually, it was the only thing I was seeing. It was everything I'd been seeing for the past few hours. It wasn't even an it. It was a he. He was Spike.

And he was staring back at me, for real.

Now that, that was something that I didn't wager to ever come true. Ever. Spike was standing in front of me, and a few hours ago I was kissed by him. It was overwhelming, but it was a good kind of overwhelming. Like the kind you get when so many good things happen to you, and it's hard to even breathe. That's what I was feeling, but I think because I was a slayer, maybe I was feeling it at a higher level, but..

Okay, so I was rambling in my head. My mind was racing, and not even making sense. And yet.... I was still smiling. I couldn't seem to take it off my face, like I couldn't take my eyes off of him.


It was like he popped up, literally, behind me, and then next thing I knew, I was kissing him....or rather, he was kissing me, while I stood there in shock, but still. Then, he was eating chicken wings. Then, we were here, in the hotel. And the funny thing was, that no one else saw him. So it was still possible that I was being an idiot and dreaming. It was possible, but not probable, because, as bad as it sounds, I hadn't thought about him for maybe a month.

Yes, herego guilt trip.

So many things had happened, and especially since we came here, working under Wolfram and Hart. It was a confusing mess. Especially the part where Wolfram and Hart were evil, while we were cleaning up their mess? Maybe. Hey, that's what it felt like half the time. And Angel knew my animosity. But then, Bam! Spike. SPIKE.

I saw him die.

So he gave me the lowdown. Naturally, Wolfram and Hart were the center of this. I didn't understand half of it. All I basically got was, Spike, here. Angel knew. Angel CEO of lawfirm that funded the coming back. In Ghostly form?


So here we were. In my room. In the hotel. I couldn't begin to describe my feelings toward this situation. I didn't know them myself. But there was one thing that I did know.

Was that smile wasn't going anywhere for a really long while.

((Open to Spike.))

5 Slayers Watcher

Yeah? Well, she started it! [24 May 2005|03:10pm]

[ mood | shocked ]

Okay, I’m definitely not one to go out on the town in search of the big evils for which to pummel, but having this…THING in front of us, which was obviously NOT human, and it not attacking--and us not attacking… There is too much non-attacking going on here! See, this is why I don’t patrol often.

I should be happy that all it wants to do is gab the night away, right? I’ve got the gift of gab but this was just unnatural. Evil attacks good—good kills the attacking evil, nowhere in there does it say good and evil have an awkward powwow and exchange words. Not counting the occasional witty banter that’s exchanged at times.

Whatever this thing was she gave me the heebie jeebies and I was so over it. The way she looked at us…it made me feel like she wasn’t seeing us at all, just staring right through us…like we were nothing. Possibly even less than that.

“Look, lady, what’s your deal?” Well, no one else would ask this question to a…thing, so guess I’ll do it. “What team do you bat for exactly? Evil would have made a move on us by now and not be boring us with useless facts. Lilith, wife of Adam, yadda-yadda-yadda. I skipped both Bible studies and demonology for the lack of giving a flying fig about either. So, if you don’t mind can you throw a punch…preferably not aimed at our faces…or get gone?”

Too much?

I looked back at Alan and got my answer in the form of a very strange facial expression. Ya know, before now I never realized how pale that guy was. Hmm. Shrugging a bit I looked back to Lilith..or, uh, where Lilith HAD been standing, only now there was a jet black demon with amber colored eyes in that exact spot.

“Holy shi--“

I was cut off and gasped as an arrow zipped by me and embedded itself into the demons right shoulder. It barely flinched…

“Alan?! Who let him have the bow? You nearly took my ear—“ I turned around again and Alan was bowless. Abby now had the weapon and it was still aimed even though it wasn’t loaded anymore. “Fine, YOU nearly took my ear off!”

The demon screeched at an almost unbearable level but I don’t think it was in pain…just really, really pissed.

“You wanted to fight, Nikki. Now shut up and do that..”

“Not with THIS! With the less violent looking one…”

I whimpered a bit but hardly had time to dwell on the crappiness of the situation when this thing dashed our way in a blur. I pushed Dawn to the side and then managed to pull back, allowing it to go right by us. It clipped Alan’s arm, but he was fine. It had what it wanted at the moment. Abby.

She was pinned at the neck against a tree trunk by the onyx demon. Dropping the bow she held she tried to pry the creature’s hand off. With a quick yell Alan joined in and made use of a downed tree limb he’d found and charged to the rescue…or, attempted rescue. He sort of just got batted to the side like a toy this thing got tired of playing with.

Why can’t I just learn to keep my mouth shut?

[[You know who you are...now get in here. Uh, please? *bats eyelashes*]]

5 Slayers Watcher

[09 May 2005|08:13pm]

"So you are saying that bastard did this to Fred?"

I crossed my arms as I looked at Angel and Lorne. I knew this place was bad news. But I guess no one ever listens to me until something bad happens. A sigh escaped from my lips as I dropped my arms.

"This is ridiculous! Why would anyone let alone some nerdy science guy set her up so some god could take over?" Walking away from the two, I was starting to get a head ache. "A Wolfram Hart worker..."I mumbled to myself.

Moving a piece of my hair away from my face, I looked over at Angel. "We have to figure out where they went inorder to kick Knox's ass into next week because the longer we wait, The farther he and that god thing get."

It was just typical for me to be right. I never really wanted to be right at the cost of Fred being dead and everyone depressed. I know Angel's intentions were good but every good came with a bad.

"Where's Wesley and Willow? Maybe we find them first because we find Knox and that thing."

[Ugh. I dislike my rustiness. Open To Angel And Lorne]
8 Slayers Watcher

In the graveyard with Lilith.... [05 May 2005|07:25am]

When Leon tossed back the psycho sword gal retort I moved away from him. Cause I was ready to plunge this sword right through the boy. I knew the consequences would be bad...but at this point I really didn't care. Maybe my next training session with Alan would be Anger management..cause well I was seriously going to lose it with him.

I won't admit this out loud but Connor was actually right. Leon an di could deck this out back at the hotel. Maybe I can sucker him into a round of training and kick his sorry ass down there. But we had a 'uber chick' standing in front of us that did need to be dealt with.

Connor seemed interested by the fact that the thing couldn't read him or whatever it was she was doing. I guess it did raise a couple questions. A few more when she didn't have them and pointed out which one of us may have them

but I'm 'evil' and therefore can't be trusted, correct?

I looked to Alan and then looked over to Abby. We had to work out some kind of plan to knock her off her game or something...I'm not sure what that would be excatly but there had to be some kind of training that would come in handy for this..uh situation.

"You want to attack... I highly advise you to think twice if you plan on living to see tomorrow."

I was pretty sure that was directed to Abby...but odds are she didn't just mean that to her. So I just stood my ground. To be honest it pissed me off more that I was letting a demon tell me what to do rather then go on instincts and attack. It had worked up to this point.

(Needed a post jump. Its crap but meh. Open to Nikki, Alan, Abby, Lilith, Connor, Leon...do I got everyone?)
1 Slayer Watcher

Boys are useless. [04 May 2005|12:25am]

[ mood | angry ]

"You're looking absolutely murderous tonight."

I laughed lightly and shot a smirk his way as he got up and made his way towards Andrew. I'd get up, but he needs to fight his own battles. Self confidence, ya know? But if he needs me, I'll step in.

Look, we need to talk but without Miss Intrusive over there."

I felt my eyes narrow as I stared at his back. I could walk over, grab his shirt and throw him through the window but that'd be bad. Wouldn't it?

"Faith...you mean Faith...and she's my friend. The kind that dosn't take advantage of people."

I felt my heart stop when he said that. But now that I think about it, we are friends. Hell, probably the only true friend I got around here right now. Nothing else is goin' for me right now.

"Andrew...when someone is drunk, really really drunk and depressed things can...happen. And then when they come to..Well, maybe they realized they made a mistake but they never meant to hurt who they were with."

I rolled my eyes when I found out it involved alcohol. Typical male! Blame it all on the alcohol and then it's all fine and dandy. "Fuck, I never knew Xander was such an asshole." I mumbled under my breath as I clenched onto the chairs arms and thoughts of Robin danced around in my head. Fuck- men.

"And, well though it wasn't bad...BUT wasn't good because well, it;s me and it's you and it can't...because yeah..so no hard feelings?"

I could barely hear what Xander was saying because all I could see, was Robin. I looked at him and he was- Robin. The person who left me wide open and broken.

"I've got to go Andrew"

I looked up at Xander and gave him an angered expression. I wasn't impressed at all. I watched him as we slowly pranced by and then out of the 'bucks. I jerked my head as Andrew sat down, looking more confused than ever. Hell, I was confused.

"You alright? What the hell did he say? I got kind of- distracted." Ya, distracted by picturing his head rolling on the ground or maybe that was Robin?

20 Slayers Watcher

I can't believe it! [01 May 2005|05:08pm]

[ mood | cold ]

He left me alone in his office and then walked out with Cordy! I sat in his office for who knew how long until I stood up and decided to walk out. I walked out and eyed Angel and his new "gang" as I walked past towards the elevators. Clearly, he was of no help.

As they opened I stepped in and watched in the mirror as they commisserated together talking about some Kawhazahn or something. The doors seemed as if they had slammed shut on me and I slunk against the back wall. I still couldn't believe what I had done to Andrew or that I had even done it.

It's time to make amends...well not so much amends as much as apologies and swearing never to do it again. Yeah, that. I made it out of the building and back down the road toward the hotel. As I passed a coffee shop close by I just peered in and spotted them both, together ... both probabally talking about me.


and Andrew.

I sighed and stood at the window watching them talk and obviously bitch. I did need to apologize and then quickly blame it on the beer. I inhaled and opened the door and then exhaled as I walked in. I quite possibility lost all air as I hit the coffee shop proper. Faith spotted me first, actually didn't say anything...just got this sort of amused/scornful look.

I walked towards their table and slunk down in a chair to the right of Faith and left of Andrew. "We need to talk." I said to Andrew.

[Open to Faith and Andrew]

7 Slayers Watcher

Revilations [28 Apr 2005|12:39pm]

[ mood | distressed ]

[Continued from here]

I felt Lindsey wrap his arms around me even more, making me melt into him. It was when I got like this that I felt things that I shouldn't be feeling, I knew I had feelings of some kind for him but I just didn't know how much until this moment.

"Don't...Don't ever leave..." I murmured barely above a whisper, tightening my arms around him and breathing in his scent.

The one thing I craved right now was him and all the feelings I felt when he was close to me. How his body felt pressed against me, how he would link his fingers with mine when we did little things together, even if it was simply sitting on the couch.

Something hit me and I don't know if I was ready for it, feelings - very strong ones - for him. Maybe it was because he saved me or because he's been taking care of me...

No, it's more then that, a lot more.

It was clear as the nose on my face that I cared about him a great deal. I wanted to know more, everything even, about him. There were little things I already knew. Like how he'd get this little dimple when he smiled, not one of those lawyer smiles either. A real smile, it would reach his eyes and he'd glow like one of those old eighty's glow worms.

My breathing became a bit more ragged as my mind raced on. This was all fine and good but does he? Do I really want too? The biggest thing is am I ready to? I mean, I'm not exactly one with the sane or anything and I was trying to find ways to deal.

Since I helped Spike I don't feel like my magick was out of control. I felt calmer like that. But it was whatever else was going on inside me, maybe because he brought me back something was wrong. Or my body was still working out the kinks.

That's some kink.

I pulled back and looked at Lindsey, my eyes roaming over his face as I looked at him really for the first time. "Really?" I murmured, my eyes meeting his and for a split second I wanted nothing more then to get lost in him totally.

[Open Lindsey]


Bend The Bracket. [20 Apr 2005|05:03pm]

[ mood | drunk ]

I smiled at Spike. At him, he was here.

god, it was still so hard to understand, especially since I haven't even begun to start trying. I was still trying to get over the shock of him actually being here in the flesh and blood talking to me. Not something that I have ever thought of happening in..well, ever. I mean, yeah, I've thought about it. A lot. But I stopped after a while, becuase every time I did, well, it ended in me feeling sorry, or remorse.

And that was something that I couldn't do, because Spike had atoned for everything that he had done through saving the world, saving me. Everyone. He was the key player in bringing down Sunnydale, and I vowed that I wouldn't ever forget that or him for that matter. It was just hard to think about. But now, now it was entirely different, because Spike was here, and it wasn't hard anymore. We brought down the hellmouth, and everyone was standing. Except for Anya, God rest her soul.

We decided to go out to dinner, and, wow. Something else I'd never thought I'd be doing with Spike of all people. It wasn't something that we did. It just never happened, granted, we didn't really give it a chance. But still, it was new. All this was new. Except for that kiss he gave me when he first saw me. I couldn't begin to describe my feelings when his lips first touched mine in so long. So very long, I'd forgotten a lot. Within that few seconds, it was like the world stopped turning. Like I didn't carry half of it on my shoulder.

So during dinner I implied that I loved him. That I wasn't going anywhere, and that I wasn't ever going to take that back. Ever. I'd tell him using those words though...just as long as I was sure he was staying here. That this wasn't some trick that Wolfram and Hart put together.

Babble thoughtsCollapse )

He finished his wings, and we got the bill paid for. As soon as we walked out the door, and down the creaking steps, I stopped. Stared.

And hugged him, closing my eyes and relishing in the moment. I'll be damned if I didn't, and be lying if I said that I wasn't happy, ecstatic, jovial. All of the above.

Problems of the world could wait.

This was a Buffy and Spike moment.

((Open to Spike.))

7 Slayers Watcher

[13 Apr 2005|10:02pm]

So...Me....Andrew Wells...hangin out with Faith. The mistress of pain...or so I've heard....but thats not the point. I'm actually getting coffee with Faith...damn it's been a long night.

I accidentally let the justification of my problems slip to Faith and hoping that she didn't catch it. We made our way to the nearest Starbucks in L.A. ....which really wasnt a long walk since theres one on every corner.

We ordered our drinks...I got a hot chocolate...and sat down at the nearest table.

"So...ummm...whats new?" I asked her, not realy sure what to say...we really havent had any talks like this.....ever.

[[open to faith]]
13 Slayers Watcher

[11 Apr 2005|05:07pm]

[ mood | mellow ]

You’d think after living under a roof with so many teenage girls their strange daily customs would seem less...strange, but no. They’re still just as alien to me as ever.

For example, why do some of them insist on wearing their Sunday best when going out on patrols, only to return back here in a snit while complaining about how vampires have no consideration for the belongings of others? Soulless beings who acquire their meals by converting the human jugular into a makeshift straw–inconsiderate? I find that hard to believe... Odder still, the same few will repeat the same action on their next outing. Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Yet there was no calling them out on this matter. Not by any sane individual anyway. I’d learned that one the hard way, back when I was first assigned Sora. Just one of the many things I managed to take away from our short time together. Not the most important, granted, but still.

Isn’t their supposed to be a step after grief? Exactly how long does it take for that one to kick in? Eight years seems a bit mature, I’d say. Then again, I can’t believe its actually been that long... Before coming out here to join Rupert’s efforts to reestablish the council I didn’t really keep track of time in the strictest sense. Year and month was one thing, but days? They just seemed to bleed into one another. If it wasn’t a full moon night then I really had no interest in the exact date. It wasn’t living, merely existing, as I went through the motions of my days. I’d lost focus, drive and I lacked a purpose. Not sayin’ alls well in my world now, but I think I’ve gotten a good grasp back on those things I’ve lost.

After I had spilled my all to Dawn I was astonished what a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders–right there and then. After it was over and done with the only worry that plagued my mind was whether or not I’d have her clever stabs at K-9 jokes to look forward to on a monthly basis. I wonder if that’s all I’d have to worry about after telling Giles. Seems unlikely. It had occurred to me that the longer I put it off the worse I was making the situation on myself for not being straight about it from day one. But, there will be plenty of time to ponder my doom at the hands of the mean ol’ headmaster later on, right now I had places to go and a slayer to train.

Grabbing my glasses from the small table beside my bed, I slid them into my shirt pocket then grabbed my jacket. After slipping it on I made my way out of my room then down into the lobby. I had pretty much come to the conclusion that if Dawn needed to slay me...she could. In this form anyway. Still got the bumps and bruises to prove the fact too. So, now its some unsuspecting vampires turn to take the beating in my stead.

I paused only for a second on the stairs for a head count of the current occupants of the lobby. Giles, Abby and thing one and thing two...where the hell was Dawn? Probably off with that Chase girl, no doubt.

A round of the waiting game it is then.

((Open to Dawn, obviously, and anyone else who wants to tag along on patrol.))

29 Slayers Watcher

Trying to be the champion [08 Apr 2005|03:48am]

[ mood | frustrated ]

Nick, Wesley, Willow, and I just stood there in the lab having no idea what to do or what to make of Knox and Fr--.. Illyria.. just disappearing. I mentally kicked myself for even almost calling that thing Fred. It wasn't her at all. That thing was cold and heartless. Those were things that Fred could never be even if she tried or wanted to be.

I heard the door close and when I looked up from the spot on the floor I'd been staring at I noticed that Wesley and Willow were now gone. What? Why had they left? Wesley knew just as much as I did that we needed to get to work on this. And I may not be exactly as good as either of them with the research, but I wasn't about to just sit around and do nothing. Not when there was something walking around out there looking like Fred.

The thought hit me again. Fred. She was gone. I shook my head. No. I wouldn't accept that - not yet. There had to be a way to bring her back. How many times had we seen people brought back from the dead? I'd lived it, Buffy twice, Spik had.. sort of. Fred had to be inside of that thing somewhere. It's the soul that matters. If we could find her soul.. maybe - no, we would bring her back.

Looking over to Nick, I sighed. I needed to get out of this room. There had to be something somewhere that I could find that would help Fred. We also needed to find Illyria and Knox. Also, what was the deal with Knox? Illyria had called him something, then apparently taken him with her when she left.

"Look, I think I just need to get out of this room for a while. You should probably do the same. I'm going down to my office to make some calls.. see what I can find out."

I turned and then left the room. As I made my way down to my office I wondered who might have known about this. The Senior Partners. I needed to know if they knew anything about this. Why on earth would they bring all of us here - right where they wanted us - and then kill Fred just to get Illyria here. It didn't make any sense. But I'd talk to someone about it. Maybe Eve of all people. She was the liason to the Senior Partners after all.

Once I was in my office, I sat at my desk and tried to think. Picking up the phone I had no idea who to call. Shaking my head, I slammed the phone back in its place and hit the desk with my other fist. I had to figure this out. I was the damn champion, wasn't I? If I couldn't save my own friends why should anyone expect me to go out and save others? Others who meant didn't mean half as much to me as Fred had.. does.


18 Slayers Watcher

[05 Apr 2005|07:17pm]

I found there are times in life where obscenities are incredibly appropriate. There's a few drawbacks to me screaming something foul in the middle of the room, however. You have the time lost as the other people recover from their shock, and well, that's the major one.

I usually find other, less healthy, ways to channel my anger anyways. Working on that aspect, okay? Especially my shocked babbling when I run into such situations.

It was glaringly obvious some major mojo had gone down in the room. You could tell. And it wasn't your basic demonic teleportation spell. That's one of the 'now-you-see-me-now-you-don't' things. This was one of the 'now-you-see-me-now-you-don't-but-it's-different' things.

Magic is /real/ hard to explain. I still had no idea how I was going to teach all of this to others. Maybe start at it feels tingly?

It was pretty clear, Angel Investigations wasn't used to our cracking jokes under pressure. Then again, we didn't exactly crack jokes when Tara died. Lorne stumbled out of the room, and Nick was back on the 'this isn't normal' phase. It was all moving too slow. So I took matters into my own hands. I slipped over to Wesley, tugging on his sleeve briefly. "Let's get her back", I whispered, hoping not to disturb the others.

I could only hope he'd follow me to the door.

((Open to Wesley))
11 Slayers Watcher

[04 Apr 2005|03:28pm]

[ mood | determined ]

So I left again. Big shocker. I seemed to be floating in and out of this whole Fred ordeal like driftwood in the tide and honestly I didn't even know for myself where I wanted to be. I felt I just couldn't stand still, like I wanted to be one place and the second I got there, I couldn't handle it and I had to leave. I guess I was just too overwhelmed.

I wandered aimlessly down the halls of the medical ward with a somewhat bleak expression on my face. My intention was to head back up to my office and lock myself in for the rest of the day, where I could piss and moan to myself about how utterly useless I am when it comes to helping the people I loved. Really, what good was I? All I did was pour the drinks and give a quip or two. That was my contribution to this war on evil. It was pathetic, really.

I mulled this over in my head as I made my way through the firm. But then suddenly, I stopped in my tracks.

No. I wasn't going to play the coward card this time. I wasn't going to just sit there and drink while all my friends were busting their asses trying to save Fred. No, not this time. Not Fred.

I took a deep breath and steeled myself with sudden determination. I would do what the others didn't expect of me. I'd put my horns to the grindstone and keep digging away until I could find something, anything, that could help Fred. And what I needed was resources and lots of them. But where could I find--..

Wesley's office.

I turned on my heels and made a b-line across the lobby. When I got to his office, I quietly ducked inside knowing he wasn't around. I really hoped he wouldn't mind me being in here. Actually, I didn't care. All I cared about was Fred. I'd sat idly by for too long. I had to do something.

I went to his bookshelf and pulled off a bunch of volumes I hoped would give me answers and stacked them on the floor. Anything I could find from texts and manuscripts on demonic disease, ancient paranormal infections, you name it. I grabbed them all, even the big red book on his desk.

I sat myself down on the floor and kicked off my shoes. I grabbed the red book and held it up close to my mouth. "Gan'iek's Compendium of Mystical Parasites", I whispered. I opened it and the text scrolled down each page. This is where I would start. And I wasn't going to leave this office until I had the answers I was looking for.

((Open to anyone who might be wondering what the hell i'm doing in Wesley's office))

14 Slayers Watcher

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