Laughing Boy (girl19) wrote in _way_of_life_,
Laughing Boy

Things are always as they should be. They can be no other way otherwise risking a catastrophic paradox. Under that pretext though, there are infinate possibilities for the way things ought to be. And so they will continue always to be the way they are. Acceptance of this truth is difficult, but it seems the only peace that I can rely on. It is easy sometimes to allow yourself to float through the web of experiences, letting one experience flow into the next without conscious forthought. I don't know if it is better to control and analize and rationalize befor moving on to the next experience. And I suppose it doesn't make a difference, because you'll always end up where you are. At this point I can't claim to be either an optomist or a pessimist. Maybe a title would make it easier to direct my thoughts. If I could construct a box around my ideas keeping them neat and tidy and conforming. Just knowing I try to build a box though nulifys it. I become aware of the box and its transparency and realize it doesn't exist, and so it doesn't. Is this just a theory that Ive built to avert my own responsabilities and make them the responsabilities of the universe. Do I construct a fantasy to take the blame from my shoulders and dilute it in the expansive everything of infinate possibilities? I suppose if I'm right about all this, it doesn't make a difference, because no matter my intentions the result will be as it will be.

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    Ive made a lot of mistakes and a lot of bad decisions. Let me make it right! Let me forgive myself. Fuck, if I can't have anything else in the world,…

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    this is what i have to say :)

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