so, did Mr. Waits tell you folks 'bout the pond water he swallowed six months ago? Well, he started feelin' somethin' kicking around in there and thought he was pregnant, so he had an ultrasound done... turns out he swallowed three tadpoles and they grew into toads. The doctor wanted to remove them, but he said it's really only a problem when he watches t.v., 'cause they start gettin' all loud. Har.
Oh, or that it's illegal for a woman to parachute on Sundays in Oklahoma?
Or that his sperm's gotten real expensive?
The moon smells like fireworks? So Neil Armstrong told him ('cause apparently he can smell through his suit).