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The blood on the blade is mine!

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I am bad [08 Nov 2005|06:28am]

mayrasad
[ mood | blank ]

Hello
I hate it That I been bad I cut myself but not to bad I was doing good for like about 5weeks and then I get all sad and have a go at my wrist well I am just bad I have to go bye.

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[06 Nov 2005|04:44pm]

starromance14

This is my first post here and I'm excited all the other cuttingcommunities have so many limits. I have been cutting for two years and it's gotten to the point where I can only depend on the knife. I carry the smae razor I have used since the beginning with me everywhere. I have been to the hospital twice for suicide, cutting and drugs. I have been kicked out of school. I just can't stop. I need that pain to take away that mental pain. My rents hate me they call me the monster and that i destroyed my life.

 

I just feel like giving up.

 

 

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Pics and stuff [03 Nov 2005|08:37am]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | Happy for once ]

Hey peoples i finally signed on for like the first time in ever. well.........

^ me

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^ my friend David.....i might be in love with him

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^ my friend kevin at his sisters house (jessies)

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^ Gabby

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^ me, Kevin, my ex-gf renee
At my friend jessies house sleeping
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^ my other ex-gf Bria

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^ my bestest friend Apes

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^ LOL ME!!!!!! LOL

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^ My gothyness lol

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^ Im a KITTY

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Don't know what to do [10 Sep 2005|05:06am]

mayrasad
[ mood | depressed ]

I don't know what to do I feel like cutting very bad and If I do I will feel better but then I am going to feel bad because I have to hide from Matthew (MY husband) I don't know what to do I feel like just sitting here and cry all day i don't know anymore well have to go and think bye

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HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG [01 Sep 2005|06:18am]

mayrasad
I am....

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

*Re-post this if you think homophobia is wrong.



(I got this for my friend araispoetry) thank you
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New here [11 Aug 2005|07:02am]

mayrasad
[ mood | blank ]

Hello I new here
My Name is Mayra
I am 20 well 21 on aug 24
I been cutting for a long time now
And if anyone needs a friend I am here
you can also go to my LJ if you want
well That's it for now

28 comments|post comment

[08 Aug 2005|11:38am]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | SO FUCKING PIZZED ]

True story
A religion teacher assigned her class an essay on what makes a good Christian. One student wrote about praying nightly, say no to abortion, banning gay marriage, and donating money. The other student wrote about talking to God and allowing people to enjoy their lives, and supporting gay marriage. The day the teacher was to hand the papers back, she called up the second student and told him she would pray for him when he went to hell. The student asked why would he be going to hell, and why he got an F on his paper. The teacher told him that Catholisim is against gay marriage. The student looked at her for a minute, then said aloud, "I'm gay." The teacher kicked him out of class as if he had said fuck or worshipped Satan. A girl in the back of class who had a boyfriend and was obviously straight got up and left too.

If you would leave the classroom, repost this. It doesn't matter if you're straight, bi, or gay. It doesn't matter if you're catholic or not. Everyone is a human being.


THIS IS WHY I HATE PEOPLE...THE WORLD WILL NEVER CHANGE AND SAY "YOU CAN MARRY WHO YOU LOVE" THIS SUCKS THE ONLY STATE ALLOWING IT IS MASS AND THATS ONE FUCKING STATE!!!!!! WHEN I RED THIS I WAS SDO FUCKING FURIOUS I PUNCHED THE FUCKING AND MY KNUCKLES STARTED GUSHING BLOOD!!!!!!

8 comments|post comment

[07 Aug 2005|01:10pm]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | lonely ]

HEY I FEEL SO SPECIAL EVERYONE LOVES ME!!!!!! YEY!!!!!! I LOVE PEOPLE!!!!!! IM SPECIAL YEY!!!!!!
SUGAR WERE GOING DOWN
by FALL OUT BOY
Am i more then you bargined for yet?
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cus that's just who i am this week
Lie in the grass next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song
Drop a heart and break a name
We're always sleeping in and sleeping for the wrong team


We're going down, down in an earlier round
And sugar we're goin down swingin
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded gun complex
Cock it and pull it x2

Is this more then you bargined for yet?
Oh, don't mind me. I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans

Is'nt it messed up how i'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song

Drop a heart and break a name
We're always sleeping in and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And sugar we're goin down swingin
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded gun complex
Cock it and pull it x5 or something

Take an aim at myself, take back what you said

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE THAT FUCKING SONG!!!!!! I LOVE INSANE CLOWN POSSE THEY FUCKING ROCK!!!!!! SUICIDE HOTLINE IS THE BEST FUCKING SONG EVER!!!!!!

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CAN EVERYONE PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR.... [04 Aug 2005|10:49pm]

brianshanelvr
[ mood | determined ]

Okay......now that i got you in here. Can you PleasE Please Please go to : http://www.cbs.com/primetime/bigbrother6/_polls/amc_poll.shtml

And VOTE KAYSAR as many times as you can.....after you press KAYSAR and you have voted then you can go to the top and press "vote" and then "americas choice".....something like that. And vote again. Thank you SOOOOOOO much. And can you please get your friends and there friends to vote for Kaysar. THANX.

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A IM WITH A BITCH [03 Aug 2005|12:11pm]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | AH IM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE ]

HOLY FUCK!!!!!! SOME JUST IMED ME AND SAID TO STOP TALKING TO HER LITTLE SISTER........AND SHE SAID YOU ARE GAY WHICH IS NASTY SO STOP TALKING MY SISTER OR ILL CALL THE COP AND PUT YOU IN JAIL FOR TALKING TO HER!!!!!! BEING GAY IS NOT NASTY!!!!!! SHES A FUCKING ASSHOLE TELLING ME IM NASTY BECAUSE IM GAY!!!!!! SHES A FUCKING FAG HAG!!!!!! SHE PROBABLY IS GAY AND DOESNT WANT TO ADMITE IT!!!!!! THAT FUCKING BITCH HOLE MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKER ASS HOLE ASS WIPE FUCKING FAG ASS BITCH!!!!!!I HATE HER AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!.............................................................................

2 comments|post comment

HAPPY [01 Aug 2005|07:43pm]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | crazy ]

IM SO HAPPY. I bought a pair of black dickies pants for half off, a black pinestrip dickies dress, a pair o9f happy bunny socks, and a flippy blue skirt but it looks kool but preppy.

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[01 Aug 2005|12:30pm]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | naughty ]

dear president bush, marriage is about commitment...Not about race, religion, color, ancestery, age, physical disability, orrrrr genderrrr, marriage is about love not discrimination...pass it on. FUCKING POST PLEASE GODDAMN YOU!!!!!! POST ANYTHING GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!

4 comments|post comment

[01 Aug 2005|11:34am]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | its my fault ]

HIM - Your Sweet Six Six Six Lyrics
There are things you should know
The distance between us seems to grow
But you're holding on strong
Oh how hard it's to let go, oh so hard to let go

I'm waiting for your call and I'm ready to take your
six six six in my heart
I'm longing for your touch and I welcome your sweet
six six six in my heart

I'm losing my faith in you
You don't want it to be true
But there's nothing you can do
There's nothing you can do - Yes, I've lost my faith in
you

I'm waiting for your call and I'm ready to take your
six six six in my heart
I'm longing for your touch and I welcome your sweet
six six six in my heart

How long we have to wait
For love is fading so slowly
I know it's too late
Oh my god you're so lonely

I'm waiting for your call and I'm ready to take your
six six six in my heart
I'm longing for your touch and I welcome your sweet
six six six in my heart
I'm ready for your call and I'm ready to take your six
six six in my heart
I'm longing for your touch and I welcome your sweet
six six six in my heart
In my heart
In my heart
In my heart

I LUV U KRYSTINE!!!!!! DONT GO PLEASE!!!!!!

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PLEASE HELP [23 Jul 2005|07:52pm]

emo_vamp_witch
http://geocities.com/goth_witch_vamp/classic_blue.html PLEASE HELP AFRICA PLEASE IT NEEDS YOUR HELP. go to this link and help them. i dont care if its to hard i dont care if its going to take awhile all i care about is helping them!!!!!!
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[22 Jul 2005|04:52am]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | blah ]




im losing weight because i feel fat wright know i weigh 118 but im aiming for 105

7 comments|post comment

a question [22 Jul 2005|04:15am]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | waiting for death to come ]

Is it bad if everyone you love doesnt love you??? plz...i dont know wat to do everyone i love doesnt love me.I ONLY LOVE TWO PEOPLE!!!!!! WITH Steph And Christian, i cant handle it....a couple said ago i told steph i loved her......but she doesnt want 2 go out with me because shes really serious with her boyfriend dan......she means so much to me and after i told her she gave me a hug and kiss...but really softly i herd someone say i love you 2 but i dont know if it was her. and Chris i wont even mention because of everything that happened...if anyone knows the song with you by linkin prk listen 2 it...it explains things about me and chris....CHRIS I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH I TOLD EVERYONE I HATED YOU!!!!!! STEPH YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE THROUGH THICK AND THIN...I APRECIATE IT..I REMEMBER THE TIME YOU SLEPT OVER AND ME AND YOU STAYED UP ALL NIGHT TALKING ABOUT WHO WE LOVE AND YOU SAID you loved me!!!!!! ill never forget that moment. everyone says i luv you but never means it and im tireed of it. i need advice wat 2 do i need help!!!!!!

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[21 Jul 2005|01:11am]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | Amused look at the little dick ]


My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?


THAT IS FUCKING KICK ASS!!!!!!
IM SO FUCKING HAPPY "NOT" I FOUND OUT MY FUCKING DEPRESSION GOT WORSE "BOOHOO"......i used to have depression now i have like chronic depresion times 2...........BUT LATely ive been kinda happy becase just moved to warwick "YAY". the house so fucking awesome its huge....it has ghosts but thats kool...at night i get really freaked out because the ghost makes all these noises....BUT ITS SO KOOL!!!!!!. theres acctually hot kids "YAY" there so fucking gorgeous. THERE ARE REALLY HOT GIRLS AND GUYS I ONLY THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE HOT GIRLS BECAUSSE THATS LIKE EVERY PLACE BUT NO HOT GUYS YAY!!!!!! GOD DAMN CAPS!!!!!! i havent cut in like 3 weeks maybe..... i am making this entry long hoping that people will "POST"........and if i make it longer it might not look so dead.........hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........ooooo i can tell you my new fav word(s) Penguin,Nathan,Negro, bitch hole(theres a story behind bitch hole). here the bitch hole story it this one day at bamd camp...........(I DONT GO TO BAND CAMP THAT WAS AMERICAN PIE HUMOR) it started online i was talking to krystine then i said "HOT JOHN" she ways "OMFG WHERE?" i said "IDK" she said "YOU BITCH HOLE" and she also made this other one called "FUCK DAMNIT" i have no clue how she comes up with this stuff.......BUUT I DO KNOW NATHAN IS SO FUCKING HOT....NEXT TIME I SEE HIM IM GOING TO FUCK HIM!!!!!!
I FEEL PRETTY O SO I FEEL PRETTY AND WITTY AND GAY. my friend lucien sings that song whenever he gets high. is it wrong if you sister is 16 and goes out with one of your friends (11 years old)..then almost fucks them??? its sickening. I <3 ROB FUCKING ZOMBIE!!!!!!

WHO IS THIS EARISISTABLE CREATURE WHO HAS AN INSATIONABLE LUST FOR THE DEAD??? LIVING DEAD GIRL
I WROTE THAT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD IVE LISTENED TO IT SO MUCH!!!!!! My friend dediccated that songg to me.sorry for eextra lletters ivve had 2 much monster....FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK....I think i might have over did it with the FUCK FUCK FUCKs....DID I???? i feel like burning something down...hmmm... i wonder wat??? fuck dammit the match broke well i do have more *evilish grin*. Blood on her skin, dripping with sin. THIS COMMUNITY IS FUCKING DEAD SOMEONE ELSE PLZ POST!!!!!! MASTERBATION.......i dont know where that came from.well i think im done for the night.

Nighty nighty dont let the bed bugs bite.
Love you all *Kiss* *Hug*

Luv,
Lauryn
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4 days since my last cut [06 Jul 2005|05:52pm]

wherediditgo88
its been 4 days since the last time i cut it kinda sucks im keep getting these urges and i dont know if im being tested for adhd or add its the one that makes u doze out i havent really posted in here for awhile i just havent had enough time but me and my gf are doing good no drama cause my gf burns herself and its kinda hard to be like stop burning urself when i cut but since ive been trying to stop theres been no nagging to quit so i went to my councler which i really like ive been pretty bored latley nothing really exciting im just posting to let u all know that im still alive im trying that rubber band thing and it really doesent work well im going to go
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[05 Jul 2005|12:28pm]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | crushed ]

ok wel tonight im going to try to kill myself.i have everything ready the blade and the pills.GOODBYE see you in my next life if anyone cares try to stop if you dont just leave me the fuck alone i allready have the one i love who doesnt care!!!!!!

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MY WICKED AESOME PROFILE ON VF [02 Jul 2005|12:06pm]

emo_vamp_witch
[ mood | creative ]

http://vampirefreaks.com/profile.php?user=Razor_blade_cutter Its wicked fucking awesome I HAVE MY PIC ON MY PROFILE THE ONE TBHAT DIDNT SHO UP ON THIS COMMUNITY.

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