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THE BIG PICTURE [entries|friends|calendar]

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do i have any artists out there? [12 Dec 2005|08:59pm]


Her tainted little linen dress
Is time’s kindly token.
To hide her chips and bruises
And those eyes that never open.

A porcelain doll so real,
You’d think that she could speak,
Alas her lips are shut
Time took her voice to keep.

Glass eyes that used to shine
And blood red lips to match
Sometimes you hear a giggle
In place of ringing laugh.

And if you so conceive,
That doll upon that shelf
Seemingly unknown
Alone all by herself.

Shunned so by many souls,
Who chose to keep away
Held her in their arms,
But dropped and did not stay.

But do heed my warning
For all who dare not fear
Propped against that wall,
Her eyes are no longer here.

Some hurtful wasteful child
Hands mischievous and cold
Left her only this:
Two empty gaping holes.

if anyone can draw me a picture, paint, design something to go with this. that would be sweet.
1 puzzle piece| find your place

The Messenger [09 Oct 2005|12:43pm]

[ mood | restless ]

Fall and collapse into the unwinding realization of this
Endless thirst that you have assumed. In this
Assumption, though, have you lost the desire to be
Moonstruck? Will you rapture one soul from another's
Godsend? Could one be so Cold-hearted as to relinquish
The allure of One heart from the other heart's desire?

Will you let your own shadow consume you
To the point of changeless melancholy, or,
Could life in fact become a daydream for
More than just despondency? It is this,
In my passion, that I hope to spark a hidden
Reverence for more than just this life.

Trust in the mania of the inane and grasp the
Imagination of those who astound, not just you,
But every ideal that has ever come close to
Disproving the unthinkable. And realize that,
In all seriousness, who could actually
Impede upon the absence of reality?

Certainly the ideal of reality is more of a leap
Than the undeniable acceptance of the fantastic.
Even those who are "aware" are more discerning
To the impossible than that of the plausible. So,
who are you to decide on a suspicion that existence
Is that which seems to be most assessable?

You are no more a messenger for the abundant
Than an admirer of the absurd.

1 puzzle piece| find your place

[02 Oct 2005|09:14pm]
Does the wind ever blow a certain way, or the air ever smell a certain way, or the weather feel a certain way, or maybe you just draw breath a certain way, and suddenly you're somewhere else and you know there's a memory of another day, but you can't pinpoint the day, just the feelings that came and went with it?
2 puzzle pieces| find your place

Within The Midnight Light [03 Sep 2005|08:26pm]

[ mood | Empty ]

I was light.

It was dark in the room.
I always liked it
When silence was dim.
I could walk about in comfort
Without caring to be seen.
Without being seen by those
Who didn't care to see me.
It was in this that I wasn't
Where I was supposed to be.
It was as if nothing
had to be as it was.
And it didn't. And it wasn't.

But I was.

1 puzzle piece| find your place

[25 Aug 2005|03:42pm]

goodness i hate drama but no matter where i seem to turn someone in my life is causing f-ing drama....i just want to *stab* drama to death, but we know that that can not happen...oh well i am still going to try to avoid it!
3 puzzle pieces| find your place

[24 Aug 2005|10:32am]

so i am new here so why not start out with a poem i wrote....

I am no longer...Just...

I am no longer beauitful,
just another flower in the garden.
I am no longer visited by the one I love,
just another person he sees in the halls.
I am no longer speical,
just average.
I am no longer happy and hyper,
just sad and depressed.
I am no longer the bright side,
just the dark side I hate to travel through.
I am no longer myself,
just a person who pretends to be me.
8 puzzle pieces| find your place

Somber Hearts [24 Jul 2005|12:34pm]

[ mood | lonely ]

In an act of desperation, the dark shadows gripped my hand.

We walked together through life, we spoke our secrets, written in sand.
Washed away by the twilight and brought anew with fresh land.
The heavy air was our pillow, as the firefly crossed, as planned.
We were told our words were forbidden, but not lost, they were banned.
We were told our ways should go hidden, we stood high, an unwavering stand.

In an act of reservation, we kept our hearts darkened, on hand.

2 puzzle pieces| find your place

Once In A Story [23 Jul 2005|10:18pm]

[ mood | envious ]

Only as long as the
time that we have spent,
does the wind bring
resilience up in a turning light.
Twisting as though
it were speaking,
leaping in bounds
across the sky.
Pressure upon the
balance that is us.
Trusting in something
that once brought me up.
This living is something
for me and for you,
A song sung in colors
from the tree tops to dew.
Wasn't it perfect, in those days,
those times that were spent.
We were rolling in dances
across a skyline of red.
Thinking not of perfections
or endings, just that glimpse.
It was a picture of highness
and silence, inept.

2 puzzle pieces| find your place

Crows Beneath [07 Jul 2005|08:45pm]

[ mood | drained ]

Sever your fortune of freedom
So that I can now breathe.
Torture those treasures of virtue
Until the ice has room to weave
Through a heart once cast in dark purple
It came within to me.
Yet I see with eyes of future
While murder crawls within beneath.
Forever forget we never left room
To lose to sink our teeth.
With capture of your soldier
In depth to travel seas.
Whenever wings lift over revels
A life can now receive.
Fast feathers fall to shivers
But this life is too much to leave.

find your place

[07 Jul 2005|11:59am]

[ mood | contemplative ]


What do you do now
When my world is torn?
When our last raft is collapsing
Pricked by my crown of thorns?

What do you say
When nothing’s enough?
When words become muddled
And time turns to dust?

What do you see
when you look in my eyes?
A mistake, a fault?
Or a false compromise?

How will you feel
When the water consumes me?
When my last breath is gone,
Will you say that you’re sorry?

When I'm too weak and let go,
And the storm clouds drown me,
Will you hear me when I whisper,
“I still love you, Daddy.”

Because we're all in the same boat. . .and it's capsizing. Make due with what you have, and don't let the moment pass.

find your place

[03 Jul 2005|02:37pm]

X-posted tangent from my livejournal.
Adulthood tends to be taken for granted.
Everyone is overwhelmed by domestication;
Gotta pay the rent, electricity, gas, water, insurance, cell, land line, internet, then after all that treat ourselves to tampered food with whatever remains.
Gotta find someone to love.
Gotta get a career that’s "going somewhere".
Gotta buy a car that strokes the ego
Gotta save up for that big house then fill it with a decor that "represents Who You Are".
Or maybe skip right to raising a nuclear family by marrying into "security" as house-spouses have their own preordained "path to happiness".

Beyond all those distractions the only absolution I've found is

Gotta live,
Gotta die.

And its not that I find the social structure so terrible;
I've always felt to each their own
But with a culture so focused on "the prize" that they've been told their whole lives is "the dream", YOUR dream,
Where is the human experience?

Life isn't stable.
Life isn't predictable.
If you've convinced yourself otherwise then you're victim to a mass delusion
-A human complex of fear and egotism that "I am in control".

See, in reality, not your reality or my reality, but The Reality, none of our goals matter.
The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can appreciate true freedom,
which is not the right to pursue suburbia,
Only learning to savor the little things that are touch and go-
Fully absorbing life for the series of moments it is-
One oh too brief sensation of happiness at a time.

The sun warm on your face and a cool breeze.
The smell of rain as a storm rolls in.
The awe of lightning.
A clear silent twilight.
An extra fuzzy blanket during a cold winter.
The perfect strawberry.
Live music with soul.
Raveling in accomplishment
A healthy body.
A good read.
A good conversation.
A joke worth remembering.
A person.. worth remembering.

Going to sleep happily, without regrets
and waking up the next day.

1 puzzle piece| find your place

In the Forgotten Times [27 Jun 2005|10:23am]

[ mood | lonely ]

When Im in these memories, like this,
It is almost natural to assume that Im living in the past.
A fragment of one second that lives,
because of one single moment.
Present inside my unconsciousness.
It was almost too good to assume that it was there
At the time. It was almost gone before I
Could grasp at its entangled threads of time.

Well, they're gone now, down the rapids of our judgment
And sinking down into the waters of our mind.

Is it possible that we have taken it all for granted?
We have lived our lives so thoroughly that we,
In fact, missed the very thing
That we were once starving for? Remember,
We promised once to keep them from falling.
Instead, In the act of not forgetting,
we have lost them.

But you wouldn't remember anyway.

find your place

[25 Jun 2005|07:57pm]

what the fuck is up hommies i havent been on here since schools been out and thank god its over ive been chillin the past couple weeks havent really talked to any friends either today whit called she said i was anti social i said i was enjoying the break althogh i havent talked to martine and we need to party but shes been all up in canadas ass latley so whatev...lol....im still going to Drug and alchol classes ugh shoot me but Andres goes there and hes hot so its cool;) but yeah thats about it talk to you fools later

PS sry i cant spell worth shit
find your place

[17 Jun 2005|01:28am]

[ mood | awake ]

Hello there.
This is actually my first 4th post here.But as youre seeing this in reverse chronological order I thought this would be a good point for an intro post.

Im 17,university art student,philosophy geek,photoshop ninja.
Any other adjectives?
I love to write,about anyting and everything.
I take requests.You want short stories,long epics,fables,philosophical discussions,Im your man.
So enjoy,my posts are below,so check em out

1 puzzle piece| find your place

[17 Jun 2005|01:26am]

[ mood | apathetic ]

Hello there my little sex-bunnies.
How has life been treating you people?

I wish to share with you an extremely depressing experience I had a few days ago.
I was at the hospital with my mom for her checkup,you know blood pressure,cholesterol,blablabla

I was waiting for her at one of the balconies when I felt a tugging on my jeans leg.I looked down to see a tiny little frog furiously trying to climb up,so I picked it up and placed it on the balcony.

The little dude just sat there where I placed him and stared at me with a curiousity bordering on the rude.It was as if there was frog-porn on my face,the dude never even moved.

In order to freak the green dude out I engaged him in a staring contest,a battle of occular stamina.

Sane,I know.

About 15 minutes into our contest,my little froggy friend gives up turns around.

He then proceeded to jump off the balcony.The 18th floor balcony.
And the bugger STARTED FLAPPING HIS ARMS like a bird.I kid you not,this little frog was trying to fly.
And how I wish he had suceeded,instead of becoming a green splotch on someones car.

And thats how I discovered I have the power to hypnotize frogs.
What a useful power that will be when the frogs take over the world someday.

1 puzzle piece| find your place

[17 Jun 2005|01:26am]

[ mood | busy ]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I present to you know for your viewing pleasure.Updated with the things I have already accomplished

The 100 things I wanna do before I die

1)Rule the world

2)Discover if Hitler was gay

3)Become a Jedi

4)End world hornyness

5)Undestand the concept of emo

6)Go back in time and eradicate the Bush family tree from existence

7)Burp out the entire Lotr Trilogy

8)Invent a car that runs on stupid

9)Install a bird house on my head with trained canaries that will fly around in a circle whenever I fall down

10)Become a Power Ranger

11)Find Neverland

12)French kiss Hayao Miyazaki

13)Invent an urban legend(if it involves monkeys,muffins and chainsaws,then its mine)

14)Be a politician,a freedom fighter,a hippy,a drug addict and a pimp simultaneously

15)Kiss Patrick Stewart's head

16)Be a mosher at a piano recital

17)Mail myself to Japan

18)Meet God and kick him in the balls,for no reason

19)Cause all religion to become obsolete
And if that fails

20)Start a religion,it shall be named Cookieism and Oreos shall be out god

20 for now my little dumplings,I dont want to hog your reading time.More shall be posted as more are accomplised.Look out for No.13 and No.15 soon. =)

find your place

[17 Jun 2005|01:25am]

[ mood | cheerful ]

At the bell the time will be 3.25 A.M.

And in the spirit of the goths of years past,I sit here thinking about the many ways that I could die.
Not in an angsty way,mind you,just curious thats all.

So here are the few ways I imagined my death would be like.

Death by:-

i.e being eaten,it would be an experience wouldnt it,especially if one was eaten by an animal who doesnt chew.To be alive while happy little enzymes break you down into your individual components.

Decapitation by means of light-saber
Long story made short - *WHIZZZ* *THUD* *roll*
These be JEDI yo,they dont procrastinate,short and sweet.

Asphyxiation due to excessive laughter
Laughing to death.Just imagine the world growing darker and colder very very quickly and all the while the only thought going through your head is "FUCK,that was a good joke."

Cerebral shutdown due to lack of cerebral activity caused by extreme and aggravated boredom
Bored to death.I would imagine it would seem like going to sleep,except you could actually hear your brain cells commiting seppukku one by one with tiny little daggers.
I find this experince remarkably similar to the feeling one gets when watching reality TV.

And last but not least

Mental,cardio and respiratory shutdown caused by excessive coitus
Ehem,fucking to death.Not snuff,actually dying because of too much sex.
Ah yes,the ultimate experience,to feel every cell of your being charged with energy and vigor only to become cold and lifeless seconds later.
If only life was so kind.

So,my little sex puppets,
How would you like to die?

2 puzzle pieces| find your place

Interesting [03 Jun 2005|09:36pm]

[ mood | pondering ]

You know, I'm taking philosophy online with my school, and it's really fascinating. It puts the whole "reality check" thing in a new perspective. Very interesting.

find your place

haha! [27 May 2005|08:54pm]

[ mood | happy ]

this sounds mean, my parents are kicking my aunt out of the house, and i'm enjoying every bit of it, why are they kicking her out u may wonder,
one) she talks back to my mom and yells at her, instead of thanking her for letting her live here for 5 months or more,
two) she doesn't wanna give my parents any money, she thinks she's gonna live here for free,
so yeah, she's mean and dumb, and she abandoned her family in mexico to come here to the US and marry an american guy so that he can help her be a citizen of the US, that's mean in my opinion cuz she has a teenage son in mexico that needs her.

2 puzzle pieces| find your place

why?? [22 May 2005|09:52pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

quick question....why is my entries style different from my friends page stlye? how can i make them the same style?

find your place

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