I am taking a big trip home in the next month. I haven't been home for about a year and a half, and I don't really want to go now. Christina (my therapist) and I have almost doubled our sessions preparing for all this nonsense, and it is nuts.
My mother is causing more issues than I have time to state, but basically, she is making it impossible to be safe and be home. I don't stay with her when I go out to CA anyways, but still-I have to see her.
I'm making boundaries for the first time with her, and she is throwing a fit and a half every damn week. I'm trying to learn that my health and security is more important than anything.
It's odd to me that despite how long I have been healing, I still always come back to the self esteem issues, and the belief that I don't deserve anything good for myself. Nothing could be more wrong, and yet it's rooted so deep within me that I fall back on it time and time again.
Anyways, that's what's up with me, in a nutshell! :-) I hope everyone has a great weekend coming up! -Brit