[r]ating: ESRB rating of Mature < adult situations >
[p]airing: NejiTen, ShinoHina, ShikaIno. Slight amounts of one-sided Hiashi/Tenten.
[s]ummary: A training exercise, they called it. A means of orientating the kunoichi to the fact that they were kunoichi. But none of them were comfortable with being bought or sold, even if there were rules.
[j]oke summary: A training exercise for the kunoichi among the Konoha Eleven culminates, as almost all important events do, in drama, trauma, and the ripping off of arms by Sarutobi Asuma.
[e]pigraph: "I've been taken
I've been hung up
I get down and start it over again
I've been open
And I've been closed like a book
And burned down like a written sin"
--Ann Danielewski, "Not a Virgin Anymore"
In order to help the kunoichi to understand exactly what it means to be a kunoichi, Tsunade holds a kunoichi auction. The real point of the exercise is to get the kunoichi used to the thought of taking orders from people they don't know well. wingsover sums it up pretty well: It's more a "get used to interacting with stranger males" than a "yeah, you're going to lose your virginity so it's not as traumatic when you get raped" sorta thing.
There are very specific unbreakable rules: no touching, no cellmates allowed in the auction house, and the only people allowed to bid are people Konoha trusts pretty much implicitly. Also, people who were on the same genin team as the auctioned kunoichi are not allowed in or near the auction house. Neji has to stay 800 metres away, Tsunade has a Hyuuga checking for kikai (on loan from Hiashi, in exchange for extreme restrictions on Hinata's buyer), as well as make other modifications to wherever they're holding the auction.
This is not a "sex slave for a day" situation, no matter how porny it sounds.
Hiashi winds up buying Tenten (there's a bit of a bid war for her; Shibi, the OC, and Kakashi (doing it just to irritate Gai) wound up driving the price pretty high, but Hiashi swooped in at the last minute because of a "o.o!! That woman belongs to Neji. MUST. BELONG. TO HYUUGA." moment, which Gai noticed).
Inoshi winds up buying Hinata. Nobody dares contest Inoshi's bid, as starting a bid war would embarrass/traumatize her, and nobody wants that.
Shikato, Chomaru, Shibi and the OC all bid on Ino. Shibi is fairly disinterested, and Shikato can't put too much into the bid (his wife). When the OC starts going crazy high, Chomaru drops out.
There's a bid war on Sakura. Again, Shikato, Choumaru, Shibi, and Ebisu bid. Shibi is, once again, disinterested, Shikato is henpecked, Chomaru isn't desperate... So Ebisu wins the bid. Complete with victorious adjustment of glasses.
RE: The Inoplot
To be filled in later.
To be filled in later.