YOUR CHILDREN DESERVE LEXCORP JETPACKS (yesthatnagia) wrote in _terzarima,

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FF7 Plotbunny: Operation: Some Men Just Can't Hold Their Arsenic

It all starts with some sort of cocktail party. In honor of Meteor and all that jazz, PLUS the discovery of the cure for Geostigma. What with Meteor, Cloud discovering how to cure Geostigma, and AVALANCHE saving Edge from Bahamut, they are now seriously famous. Which means they get to mingle with a few pre-Crisis celebs. Lucky them. < / sarcasm >

Anyway, there are some issues. One of them is this weirdness going on between Yuffie and Vincent. And it's not a GOOD weirdness, either, so don't get your hopes up.

Yuffie is pissed that Vincent went back to solitude. Vincent is pissed that Yuffie is being, well, eighteen: he feels responsible for her, because they (and, before Aeris died, Red) were in the same party during Crisis. Except this is two years and eight months after Crisis. Yuffie is even more independant than she had been during Crisis, and she's bucking Vincent's attempts at keeping her out of trouble (read: "not incarcerated for anything TOO serious").

Not only is she resisting his control freak tendencies, but she's being pissy with him.

This does NOT a happy Vincent make, in case you don't know him.

So when Yuffie turns up on the big night dressed in a cheongsam that MIGHT cover her ass, maybe, MAYBE, if she weren't wearing high heels, imagine the tension.

Vincent tries to convince himself that the utter wrath inside him is a sort of paternal protective instinct, and not all the demons inside his head getting territorial, or possibly him being jealous.

It's not really working.

Vincent and Yuffie fight over the dress before they leave the hotel. Yuffie eventually explains (read: "shouts extremely loudly for maximum embarrassment") that the dress was her mother's and she's wearing it with Chekhov's blessing, so how do you like THEM bananas?

Vincent shuts up. Very quickly.

At the actual party, Vincent is less of a territorial nutjob. This is mostly because he has to deal with the urges to kill random people (Hellmasker doesn't like crowds), to snag that entire tray of chicken at the buffet and curl up in a corner with it (Galian likes chicken), to go sit in a corner and rock himself, crying (Death Gigas is afraid of reporters), and to kill everybody in the room who LOOKS at him and isn't a member of AVALANCHE (Chaos doesn't like humans).

And then Yuffie gets bored with all the non-AVALANCHE people, so she goes to hang out with Vincent. They stand in a corner, shooting the shit in a very V&Y way (Y: So what have you been doing ALL ALONE? // V: .... // Y: ANSWER ME. // V: Things that needed doing. // Y: ... *poke* // V: ... // Y: *pokepoke*// V: ...). And then enters REPORTER.

REPORTER: < total fangirl > Mr. Valentine, how does it feel to be famous for saving humanity in general not once but twice? How does all that prestige feel?

VINCENT: ... (Thinking: Ignore her. She'll lose interest eventually.)

YUFFIE: Vincent isn't prestigious. He's a lame-o.

VINCENT: ... (Thinking: Lame-o? Where did she learn her insults?)


YUFFIE: ...dude. I have EVERY FREAKING RIGHT to call Vincent a lame-o, what with my having SAVED THE WORLD WITH HIM, and he doesn't even CALL ME TO LET ME KNOW THAT HE HASN'T COMMITTED SUICIDE YET.

VINCENT: ... (Thinking: I never stated an intent to commit suicide. Does she really think I'm going to kill myself?)

REPORTER: Why would anybody call YOU? You're just some Wutaian twerp! And a THIEF!

YUFFIE: !!!!!!!!!!!!

Yuffie immediately starts trying to strangle the reporter. Vincent has to hold her back, which is difficult, because he only has one arm.

Yeah, I have no idea where it would go from there. It would probably be related, as a fic, to this idea.
Tags: ffvii, i'm being attacked, plotbunny, vy, yv

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