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_Survivors_
A safe space to share stories and ask questions
 
6th-Mar-2005 10:54 am(no subject)
"Vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of the muscles surrounding the vagina that closes the vagina. This condition causes penetration to be difficult and painful, or even impossible."

"The immediate cause of vaginismus is involuntary spasm of the muscles around the lower one third of the vagina. This initial response may be secondary to sexual abuse, frightening childhood medical procedures, painful first intercourse, relationship problems, sexual inhibition or fear of pregnancy."


I always experienced some pain like this from the first time I had sex. First I figured it was because I was new at it and just barely no longer a virgin. Then I was raped and the pain became worse and sometimes it was really hard for my bf to enter me. After that I came up with a number of theories- I thought maybe I had an STD but my tests always came back normal; I thought that maybe there was some scar tissue in my vaginal wall but the obgyn said that it was all healthy and normal tissue; finally I just figured that that was the way I was built. That is, until lately with my rapist coming back into town the pain increased.

At my college students can submit anonymous questions to the health center docs and they will answer them online. I asked about my pain, how always, no matter how much lube I used or what position I was in etc., it hurt about an inch into my vagina and lasted for a minute or two before it would go away, and sometimes it didn't go away. My doc told me that I have Vaginismus. I always figured I was just kind of odd when it came to sex, that my parts were different or something. My bf doesn't understand why my being raped affects he and I's relationship and now I feel, I don't know, I guess I feel validated that I have an actual problem, it can't be attributed to me being dramatic or something...
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