Ok whoa. Very sorry. I didnt mean to offend. Yes I was asking for advice. I was (and still am upset) and have a lot in my head. I think it was a one time thing, he doesnt understand why he did it, knew it was wrong. Anyway....I am sorry if I offended, I was not in a good place and I know thats not an excuse, but I cant really apolagize any harder.
I dont want to leave this place, part of the reason I posted was because you guys are awsome and have been where I have so we all look at things a little differantly, anyway, I am at work and have to go.
I took some of my Klonopin (for which I have a prescription) and took a nap and was cuddled by one of my partners (I'm polyamorous). The partner who cuddled me is himself a survivor of childhood physical abuse and neglect, so he could relate pretty well.
I feel a lot better now. Thanks to everybody for the hugs and support.
Given the people here, and what most have gone through, I deeply regret my post yesterday discussing violence. Please understand I would never hurt someone other than myself, and if I upset anyone by my post I am very, very sorry. You all deserve support, not triggers from stupid males who can't avoid bad-tempered displays.
For those who are interested, please check my private journal for next update it is kind of important. Thank you to those for caring and to others who taught me that caring is a gift and selfless and there are too many ppl in this world who are not and are not worth our time.
I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of support this past weekend. I'm hanging on by my fingernails (at least they are strong I have the fake ones). I don't want to let you guys down, you're the only ones who care.