I have a ton to say in this post. And just needed to vent on some of the things that have been going on as of late. Cut for friends, betrayal, trust issues, counseling, memories of rape (no details, family stuff that is going on (moving, parents getting back together, dealing with my father (who is my rapist), mentioned of using illegal drugs, mention of past abuse. And I think that is it. Tell me if I missed anything. ( Collapse ) If anyone of you got through this beast of a post props to you. And thanks for listening. TTFN. ~c
Many survivors struggle to ask for the help and support they need during recovery. One of the biggest contributing factors to this difficulty is having to feel vulnerable or to admit vulnerability to another person. As survivors, we have experienced horrible moments of vulnerability, and we are often hugely triggered by feeling vulnerable, even around people we feel are safe.
Vulnerability is simultaneously admitting that we need help, and therefore can feel like we are making ourselves a target for pain, and also is an admission that we need someone else to support us. Even just the thought of needing another person when you are a survivor can be a nerve-wracking experience.
One of the ways we can combat our fears of being vulnerable is to acknowledge *why* we are afraid. For in knowing why we are afraid to begin with, we can work to undo some of those associations. For many of us, it comes down to one basic thing - we've been hurt while vulnerable before - and we need to focus on admitting vulnerability on a small level first in order to re-learn how to be vulnerable and still feel relatively secure. For once we are able to really *feel* that it is okay to be vulnerable - that it makes us neither weak nor stupid nor deserving of pain - is when we can really empower ourselves in our healing.
This week's Questions are: - Do you have a hard time being vulnerable or admitting vulnerability? When does this most often come up? - Why are you afraid of that vulnerability? - What small ways can you practice being vulnerable so that you can feel more secure in it?
but i guess im not as emotionless as i thought i was cause its been eating at me and so now i have to do something about it
I've made it out to be like im 12 years old.
im not. im a 15 year old girl who has a speech impediment that has led the powers that be to believe that she has the mental capacity of a 12 year old.
I guess, coming here, I felt like i wasnt good enough to say that i was 15, because everyone around me treats me like im 12 because im small and slight and not developed for my age and retarded, apparently.
no, they dont say that. not to my face, anyways...most times....
I'm very sorry to everyone i led awry and i will understand completely if anyone wants to de friend me because of this. i should have said it earlier but i didnt think that...well...that i deserved to be called 15...
anyways. everythinng else is the truth. art, matt, steve,roxie, alex......
<3 to everyone who's listened so far and *hugs* im sorry if i hurt anyone -kat