I have issues with people touching my wrists or neck. Lately I've been going through this period of depression. I have a really great Support Team, and they're making sure I'm not hitting a really bad level. They're convincing me to get out more and keep myself busy so I feel better.
At one point I mentioned that I'm afraid to be with friends sometimes because when we horse around, I'm always consious of where their hands are at. I'm worried that they'd trigger me by grabbing my wrists or something. A friend suggested that I desensitize myself to it. He said that if I took their hand and put it on my wrist, I would be in control of the situation. Makes sense, no? I asked a good friend of mine, Mr. P, and my boyfriend to try this with me. They agreed to it, albeit my boyfriend was hesitant to do so, since he's seen me trigger and seen me in flashback before. He didn't want to put me through that.
This evening, we were sitting around, watching a movie. Mr. P was playing with my hands, as is customary (despite everything, I still like touching people). I had my hand grasped in his beneath his arm, and was kind of brushing my fingers against his wrist. I knew his fingertips were on my wrist, and I just pushed my hand upward until I was grasping his wrist. He grasped my wrist in turn, and we kind of sat there for part of the movie like that.
And do you know what? I didn't trigger. I didn't have a panic attack, I didn't feel disconnected, I didn't have a flashback. I felt safe because I knew that he was my friend and he wouldn't hurt me. I'm feeling so pleased with this, so strong. I feel like I'm not going to be wounded for the rest of my life.